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thanks to all...more update..no bash...seeking wise advice

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Im 25yo and i just met a guy online.. 3 mos after weve met and dated for two months. Now hes proposing.. He said he has 3 kids with different moms. He just got his divorce last month but been separated for few years prior. I havent met his kids nor his sister nor his ex. Hes my first serious relationship. Btw his got 10yo 15yo 16yo daughters. I am so crazy inlove witj him.we just had a fight because im having second thoughts bout the marriage thing which he wants next month.he had already moved out of his old apt and moved to better one for us. Hes making me choosr.marry him or my dream.. Ive been crying all day.. Please advice me.i need a good advice.hes 37yo.its breaking my heart were fighting.





Update..


He hasnt called yet since last night.i think i will need to return my celfone back to him. Thank u ladies.. Its gonna be tough and im already missing him but u gave me insights and perspectives that opened my eyes to what will be the reality or future with him if i take the plunge. A part of me doesnt want to believe all the posts and replies but most of me knows ur talking sense.i think ill take time and space.see from there.thank u again ladies



more update

he called and said thats fine.if i want to do nursing but keep pushing we can get married and still i.can go to school.that he will help me.i told him i think were going to fast and i havent even met his kids.he said he can arranged that.. but right now the horror stories plus the thougjts of becoming a stepmom and dealing with his exes scares me.i dont think i can deal with it.i dont know how to tell him to cut off the engagement.he throw to my face.everything he has done to prepare for our marriage.

update...
i broke up with him. returned his celfone and apologized for all the troubles he had gone through cause of me. i miss him. a lot. and tempted to call him but it wouldnt be right. thank u for all the advice.it helped me a lot!
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 7, 2012 at 12:20 AM
Replies (61-70):
jynkx
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 6:15 PM

it is as simple as saying this, "I DONT WANT TO MARRY YOU".   once you say that, its not your problem.  he knew what he was doing and he was trying to pull a fast one on you by making things go so fast that you didnt have a chance to stop it.  luckily, you woke up just in time.  

Quoting Anonymous:

i havent broken up yet.dont know how to break the e.gagement


Quoting Anonymous:

He was a train wreck. Wow, glad he is gone.


dinc
by Member on Dec. 7, 2012 at 8:10 PM

Please do not marry this guy until you have met his children.  You should also try to talk to one of his exes.  Something is wrong with this picture.  Why does he want to get married so fast?   What is his reason for rushing?

If he is getting mad at you for hanging out with your friends now, just think how it will be when you are married.  You will not have any friends because he will try to keep you from them. 

You are young and there will be other guys.  Please take your time.  Take lots of time.

gemma458
by on Dec. 7, 2012 at 9:12 PM

You're so welcome, I just felt for you (been there!) and wanted to offer my thoughts.....how are you doing with everything today? I am definately here to support if needed girl! You should give yourself credit for being so strong too ; )


FL2AK
by on Dec. 8, 2012 at 12:20 AM
Run like hell.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Dec. 8, 2012 at 6:18 AM
Age isnt anything. Im 24 and my df is 37. For me i broke his rules. And had i been divorced we would have been married by now
hopealways4019
by Bronze Member on Dec. 8, 2012 at 6:59 AM
Why is he in a rush to get marry? Y'all fighting ain't a good sign or start. This man got 3 kids by three different females. Don't put your dream on hold for him. If he can't compromise now? The marriage ain't gonna last. Y'all need to slow down, and really get to know each other. You are still young and vulnerable. B
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Dec. 8, 2012 at 7:13 AM
1 mom liked this
Are you guys on the same page about religion? Politics? Child rearing practices? Does he have a criminal record? What are his friends like? What are his hobbies? How is his relationship with his kids? With his own parents? With his exes? How much money does he make and are you ok seeing a huge chunk go to child support? Does he want more kids? Does he have the time and money to love all those kids?



If he loves you than he'll give you time to learn every wonderful about him. If he loves you he would never give you an ultimatum that involves the possibility of him leaving. That's the ultimate manipulation, to make it "your fault".



Sure, get engaged. But for no less than a year.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 10 on Dec. 8, 2012 at 10:51 PM
You are only 9yrs older than his oldest child..they will not respect you and do you *really* want to be a stepmom to that many kids as old as they are at your age sweetie?
This relationshit (not a typo) will not be healthy...why did he get divorced? Why is he going from woman to woman? You do know that I DONT WANT TO MARRY YOU! Is a complete sentence...you need to tell him and leave it at that honey
witchybabymomma
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 6:35 PM

 If he is doing all that already I would be really worried about him being abusive and controlling. He should understand if it's worth having it is worth waiting for and there is no reason you guys have to get married so soon.

robyann
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 9:57 PM

 You can't let him make you feel guilty for calling off the marriage. It makes me wonder why he is being so pushy about it?? If you were my dd I'd tell you to back out of this relationship, something is very fishy with this guy. I dont trust him.

Have you talked to your own mom about this? I have kids your age and I would be very worried if she told me what you have told us. Now I'm worried that if you try to break up with him totally he'll end up being a stalker. Please be careful and end this as soon as possible, it will only get worse the longer you let this go on.

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