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I made a decision and now im not so sure about it. *piog

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I told my dh several weeks ago that I wanted to go to marriage counceling because I am thinking about getting a divorce. He refused to go at FIRST, so i went without him. And after my first session when I came home. My kids were gone to the neighbors and he really wanted to TALK. I listened of course. He began to cry and tell me he doesnt want to lose me, and he knows he fucked up by cheating, and he knows he hasnt been the best husband to me, but his life would be incomplete without me, he wants us to get remarried and start all over!

And everything he was saying was what I wanted to hear. But frankly im really nervous because I feel he's only saying these things because he knows I'm serious about divorce and he's just trying to butter me up and then going to go back to his normal self once divorce leaves the table.

Honestly, I'm tired of being the breadwinner in my marriage. That's not how I was raised to be. That's not how I envisioned my life to be growing up. And after my waiting for him for 5 years to make a change. I'm ready to just let it go, I do really care about him and dont want to be alone with two kids after being with someone for so long. But I need more, I need to be in love again. I need to feel like I want to go home after work and not hit a bar first or smoke a cig or two first. He has completely made me think about trying our marriage all over again. But I'm to afraid to invest anymore time in him and not get anything I deserve from him. I'm progressing in my life, in our marriage, and he has been doing just enough for it to look like he's doing SOMETHING. And he just made my decision, and mind-set a lot harder and I'm not sure what to think about any of this.
Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 9, 2012 at 7:21 AM
Replies (11-13):
JenniferP96
by Member on Dec. 10, 2012 at 12:02 PM
If he is serious, tell him the first step is joining you in therapy. Don't make a decision yet. See what comes of counseling
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Marimaru
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 4:23 PM

Tell him you are separating, and you'll be living as if you aren't married, and that if he's serious, he can earn you back again.  You can live in the same house, but like roommates, and he can date you again and convince you he's worth remarrying.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 10, 2012 at 5:21 PM

I also agree with this post, But you need to set some guide lines if you stay, he needs to start finding a way to support the family, and if he does anything to look like he is cheating again your gone, thats it. I beleive in fighting and trying your best to stay in a relationship, but its 2 sided and if he doesn't try then its not worth it... Good Luck!

Quoting Cindy18:

If you are going to counseling then I would think that means you want to work on things. I'm going through something similar without the cheating part, but I finally told him how I feel and he is now staying with his mom and we are "dating" again. It's weird but is giving us both time to think about a lot of stuff. I think maybe you need to be completly honest with him and tell him everything you just said here and if you both want to work it, go slow.


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