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What's the holiday, or really anytime, invitation situation with your family like?

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 1:26 PM
  • 15 Replies
My husband recently got all pissy because his mom and brother went to his other brothers house for thanksgiving and technically we weren't invited. Not that we wanted to go anyway but till when his brother that went with his mom made a comment about us not going my husband went off!
I couldn't understand, I said do you really have to be invited? If I called anyone in my family and said we are coming to visit, literally anyone, they would be so freakin excited! I don't need to be invited because with my family everyone is always invited, anytime.
Sometimes his family seems so weird to me. Guess, well I know, all families are different. It's just weird to me.
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by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 1:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
nodramamama311
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 1:38 PM
Bump
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gonecrazi
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 1:39 PM

 Dh's parents are divorced, both of them remarried years ago. But she gets an attitude if we go to fil's for any holiday. We have been going to her house for Christmas for almost 12 years.. the entire time we have been married.  I've learned to ignore her. 

rory10
by Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 1:46 PM

SO's family is really weird about invites too. We were told that "your asses are expected to be there" for his niece's 1st birthday. We only found out what day the party was less than 48 hours before it started, he has to work and couldn't get the day off on such short notice, and they live over an hour away. And we were supposed to invite SO's mom and boyfriend to his brother and sister-in-law's house last Christmas. Since when does anyone invite people to a party that's not for them at someone else's house?!

nodramamama311
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 2:28 PM
But I guess my point is that you have a standing invite to go either place right? Do you need to be called up and personally invited?

In my family we don't.


Quoting gonecrazi:

 Dh's parents are divorced, both of them remarried years ago. But she gets an attitude if we go to fil's for any holiday. We have been going to her house for Christmas for almost 12 years.. the entire time we have been married.  I've learned to ignore her. 


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sabrtooth1
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 3:42 PM

I would never show up at anyone's house without a specific invitation--family or not.  I would not want people showing up at my house without AT LEAST calling first to see if I had enough food, or if I was having visitors at all.  Maybe we went to the Bahamas for the holidays.  Maybe I am down with the fllu, and dh ordered a pizza for his birthday.  Even with my own children, even for simple Sunday dinner, i always ask if they can come.  Maybe they have to work late.  Maybe the baby is being a beast.  You know what happens when you assume.  You make an ass of U and ME.

nodramamama311
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 3:47 PM
I get it about assuming and all but with my family we are in constant communication so we would know if someone was going to be gone or if someone was sick or whatever. I guess my family is just different.


Quoting sabrtooth1:

I would never show up at anyone's house without a specific invitation--family or not.  I would not want people showing up at my house without AT LEAST calling first to see if I had enough food, or if I was having visitors at all.  Maybe we went to the Bahamas for the holidays.  Maybe I am down with the fllu, and dh ordered a pizza for his birthday.  Even with my own children, even for simple Sunday dinner, i always ask if they can come.  Maybe they have to work late.  Maybe the baby is being a beast.  You know what happens when you assume.  You make an ass of U and ME.


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lnrmom
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 4:35 PM

In my family we decide who's hosting then whoever is going is just expected to say "I'm coming, what can we bring?". We typically go to my sister's house because her house is bigger or we all trek down to my cousin's if everyone has off. Occasionally it's a "hey we're doing XYZ for so-so at 5, we'd love to have you" and we always work together to have a "family only" birthday - cake and ice cream, then the kids can have their bday parties with their friends.

EireLass
by Ruby Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 4:39 PM

I really have very little to do with my family, so there isn't an issue. Most of them would never invite me, and if they did, I'd probably wonder what they wanted.

Husbands family....all but one is an open invitation. And we have an open door policy here for everyone....friends and his family.

atlmom2
by Susie on Dec. 9, 2012 at 4:40 PM
Both our families are welcoming. My in laws invite my family over even.
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Dontchawishuknu
by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 9:52 AM

I was raised that you don't invite yourself anywhere, but that's just how my family is. We always call each other first, and make certain that the person(s) we're wanting to visit don't have plans before we bring up the visit idea....DH's sounds more like yours except they won't even call ahead of time.  Their thing is to just show up.  I think it's just a difference in families.  We're still working on that whole compromise thing so that both sides and both ways are respected.

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