Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Dad spends too much time at MIL?

Posted by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 5:36 PM
  • 7 Replies

Hi, I'm Stacie. I have two 9 year old twins. Problem, in addition to one night per week in work meetings, and about one night per week at boy scout meetings, he feels he needs to spend one night a week at his mom's cleaning out her hoarded mess. She's retired, lives like a slob and owns everything QVC ever offered for the past twenty years. He has a brother who lives in this house who does nothing, a sister who lives 30 minutes away who never helps, and another brother who lives 3 hours away who has come occassionally to help. Oh and his mom does nothing but argue about the stuff he's trying to get rid of (tag sales, ebay, trash). This has been going on for months and he expects not to be done till the spring? I hate it. I suggested that he, his sister, brother, and I put in one full weekend and finish the whole thing and he insists that  he's picking through his mom's life and can't expedite the process, and that I'm being selfish and only care about myself. Maybe I am, but am I totally nuts about just getting this done and moving on with life?

Any and all opinions gladly accepted!

 

 

by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 5:36 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-7):
TommyAbby
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 5:54 PM

Set it up with the family and rent a dumpster. Then he has no choice but to go along and get it done. 


myredheads
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 7:51 PM

Would you guys "really" be spending that one day together? Are you sure its not because you dislike his mother? I honestly wouldn't care about one day a week. Do you not spend time with your family?

gonecrazi
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 7:57 PM

 Yep. His siblings should just show up and get it over with. Why put off until tomorrow what do can do today. The lazy brother my need to find somewhere wlse to live.

staciejung
by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 12:52 PM

I actually like his mother, but she is somewhat passive agressive, especially to her grown children. I suspected and told him last night that he really does not want help from his siblings because doing this himself makes him the "golden child" in the family, agains a rival twin, the favorite son who lives with mom, and the only girl in the family. After arguing about this for hours, when I suggested this possible, perhaps subconcious,  reason for his behavior, he got really quiet. I think I hit the nail on the head and I'll let him work out his own psychopathology. I pretty much give up and I'll just plan things with the kids without him instead of having the world at home revolve around his limited time spent there. Let him decide then what his priorities are.

 

happinessforyou
by Member on Dec. 13, 2012 at 2:59 PM

I can't imagine his frustration level when he thinks he has to deal with this. She is clearly mentally ill and abusive to her family...... I actually feel sorry for him. :(

staciejung
by on Dec. 13, 2012 at 3:36 PM

Me too. I've decided to let it go.

 

EireLass
by Ruby Member on Dec. 13, 2012 at 4:04 PM

How is this preventing you from moving on in life?

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)