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Advice: I disliked Christmas present from husband... and he's not taking it well.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I am a bit confused as to what to do.

A little background story: my husband is into gadgets. I am not. Never have I been fond of fads or gadgets. I am more onto the practical side of things. I use what I need and, what I don't, I either give to someone who needs it or simply don't buy it. This is especially true for expensive gadgets.

My husband, on the other hand, likes all the new fad of touch-screen tablets and phones. He can't wait for the latest 3D TV to come out or the latest camera because he is either researching it or trying to get it (when he has a perfectly good flat screen TV or a two-year old camera he rarely ever uses. Anyways... that's how he is.)

In my case, I don't have time nor the use for those things. Those are the kind of things that collect dust in my closet, so to speak. I am busy with my kids, with the house or doing my own things to be preocuppied with what I call 'stuff.'

Well, for weeks now, my husband had been insisting that I use one of his computers (an ipad.) So, I did and hated it. I am not into touch-screen computers. I like a good keyboard and good speed. That's all I need and I already have a good laptop that works perfectly for me. And this is what I told my husband: 'I don't like it and I am happy with what I have. I do not want another computer.'

Well, come Christmas Day, he hands me a small present. To my surprise, it's an ipad mini. Not what I expected. Something I had told him was too gimmicky for me. I thought that was clear when he saw it on TV when it first came out. Around Thanksgiving Day I gave him my Christmas list... basically 'this is what I like and where you can get it'  (I even gave him the codes, seriously, so that he wouldn't have a hard time finding them - concert tickets, 2 perfume choices, 2 books, and 3 sweaters,,, he could choose from any of it.)

When I opened the present, I thanked him as gracefully as I could... however, I made the mistake of asking him if he had kept the receipt so that I could return it. He got very annoyed and later angry with me for not liking this present. Where did I make the mistake? Was I too honest? Funny enough, he always tells me that he likes my sense of honesty with him, that he wished more people were like that.

The way I saw it: I had already stated plainly that I don't like this kind of things. I tried to make him understand that it was like giving me a motorcycle when I don't even like biking. He just didn't get it and he's still very angry at me. What can I do? I am confused as to what to do and can't understand his anger... His solution: he will never give me a gift again. The truth: this is his first bad present and he's taking it very badly. Shouldn't I be the one who is disappointed because he didn't listen to what I said? Any advice?

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 26, 2012 at 2:46 PM
Replies (11-20):
sabrtooth1
by on Dec. 26, 2012 at 7:05 PM
2 moms liked this

I think it was rude and unappreciative.  ESPECIALLY for asking for the receipt right there, Christmas day.  I'm 60 years old, & I've gotten my share of gifts I wasn't fond of, but I am genuinely glad of the effort the person put into the gift, so I say thank you, and try to use it.  If i really cannot, there is plenty of time LATER to say, "The keys are too small, I can't seem to get the hang of it, show me how to use it, (or, last but not least) Honey, this was TOO expensive, and we really need XYZ for the house, Let's return this and put it toward this thing that will be for both of us.

Plus, no one wants a list handed to them.  Start an Amazon Wishlist, keep it current, and put enought things on it so you will be surprised.  Tell your husband to do that, too.

ConnorsMommy521
by on Dec. 26, 2012 at 11:11 PM
1 mom liked this

I felt like you were describing my husband....I feel like whatever he gets is never enough and he just wants more but that is a different conversation.

As for the gift-i think you were correct in telling him that he didn't get you the right thing.  I think he is offended because you are not as appreciative as he would have been if he had gotten something like that.  My husband explained to me the difference between the two of us for giving gifts

me-I like to be surprised-I want him to find something that is special and meaning ful but I don't find him any clues.

Him-gives me a list and wants exactly what is on it.

His frustration is that fact that if he is wrong on what he thinks I want, I get pouty and feel sad.  But he is right, how the hell is he supposed to know what the hell to get me? 

I think your husband is like me in that respect in that he wanted to suprise you and in his head it was the perfect gift.  Just explain to him that you are not him and that you really wanted the items that you asked for.  That you understand his love for technology, but it's not your thing.  

I don't think you were wrong and if people are saying that you are it's probably because they wanted an iPod mini.  You have a right not to like it.

stargaze281
by Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 1:00 AM
just lighten up and learn to use it. what's wrong with an iPad ?? you sound so critical. I think he wanted you to get into it and show you how to use it.
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onethentwins
by Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 1:26 AM
3 moms liked this

You did every thing write. Some women expect their SOs to be mind readers and get upset when they get gifts they don't like.."he should have known". You on the other hand clearly gave him an opportunity to get you a surprise that he would know you would like.

My advice, dont discuss it anymore. Let him cool down. Return the ipad for cash. Next time it's your birthday or Christmas, give him a list just like you did this time. He's in the wrong here and being a bit of a dick about it.

onethentwins
by Member on Dec. 27, 2012 at 1:30 AM


Quoting stargaze281:

just lighten up and learn to use it. what's wrong with an iPad ?? you sound so critical. I think he wanted you to get into it and show you how to use it.


I can't stand any of those i products. They're slimy and disgusting. I wouldn't use it if my DH bought me one...but there's no change in hell my husband would buy anything apple so I'm cool.

My husband bought me season tickets to the L.A. Galaxy. There's nothing better he could have bought me :)

joshlor2
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 1:37 AM
He should have known better, but I wouldn't have asked for the receipt. You could have regifted it to him for his birthday.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 27, 2012 at 7:46 AM
An I pad is slimy and disgusting????? LOL. Never heard that to describe one before. Her attitude was disgusting on Christmas.


Quoting onethentwins:



Quoting stargaze281:

just lighten up and learn to use it. what's wrong with an iPad ?? you sound so critical. I think he wanted you to get into it and show you how to use it.


I can't stand any of those i products. They're slimy and disgusting. I wouldn't use it if my DH bought me one...but there's no change in hell my husband would buy anything apple so I'm cool.


My husband bought me season tickets to the L.A. Galaxy. There's nothing better he could have bought me :)


PerfectVirgo
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 7:55 AM
1 mom liked this
I would have feigned surprise and interest and jumped on him and kissed him. It's what I did when my SO bought me a mini camcorder this Christmas and I have an $800 camera that records amazingly sharp videos. And I'm going to use his camcorder, too. Because it is my job not to hurt his feelings.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Dec. 27, 2012 at 7:55 AM
1 mom liked this

honestly my DH bought me a keurig coffee maker for christmas, from the day i have met him (10 years ago) i have never drank a sip of coffee.  He knows this, but it makes hot chocolate and tea too (dont drink tea either).  I thanked him and have used it twice for hot chocolate but never said i didn't like it, i teased him a bit because thats the way we are but i would never try to hurt his feelings and straight up say i didn't like it, i figure it's probably more for him than me and oh well.  maybe he got you one so he can use it too.  If i were you i think i would have just thanked him and kept it and tried to use it every once in a while. 

dingysfamily
by Suzi on Dec. 27, 2012 at 9:15 AM

Did it break the bank for him to buy you the ipad?  If not, you should have excepted it and made him happy.  If he's done this type of thing before You should have known he'd do it again; never mind that he should have known better ... you should have known too!!  Go out now & buy what you wanted & let it be.  Love the man and let him love you.  Don't be so critical.  Being too critical & too picky can really do just to much damage on both sides.   

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