Advice: I disliked Christmas present from husband... and he's not taking it well.
- 89 Replies
I am a bit confused as to what to do.
A little background story: my husband is into gadgets. I am not. Never have I been fond of fads or gadgets. I am more onto the practical side of things. I use what I need and, what I don't, I either give to someone who needs it or simply don't buy it. This is especially true for expensive gadgets.
My husband, on the other hand, likes all the new fad of touch-screen tablets and phones. He can't wait for the latest 3D TV to come out or the latest camera because he is either researching it or trying to get it (when he has a perfectly good flat screen TV or a two-year old camera he rarely ever uses. Anyways... that's how he is.)
In my case, I don't have time nor the use for those things. Those are the kind of things that collect dust in my closet, so to speak. I am busy with my kids, with the house or doing my own things to be preocuppied with what I call 'stuff.'
Well, for weeks now, my husband had been insisting that I use one of his computers (an ipad.) So, I did and hated it. I am not into touch-screen computers. I like a good keyboard and good speed. That's all I need and I already have a good laptop that works perfectly for me. And this is what I told my husband: 'I don't like it and I am happy with what I have. I do not want another computer.'
Well, come Christmas Day, he hands me a small present. To my surprise, it's an ipad mini. Not what I expected. Something I had told him was too gimmicky for me. I thought that was clear when he saw it on TV when it first came out. Around Thanksgiving Day I gave him my Christmas list... basically 'this is what I like and where you can get it' (I even gave him the codes, seriously, so that he wouldn't have a hard time finding them - concert tickets, 2 perfume choices, 2 books, and 3 sweaters,,, he could choose from any of it.)
When I opened the present, I thanked him as gracefully as I could... however, I made the mistake of asking him if he had kept the receipt so that I could return it. He got very annoyed and later angry with me for not liking this present. Where did I make the mistake? Was I too honest? Funny enough, he always tells me that he likes my sense of honesty with him, that he wished more people were like that.
The way I saw it: I had already stated plainly that I don't like this kind of things. I tried to make him understand that it was like giving me a motorcycle when I don't even like biking. He just didn't get it and he's still very angry at me. What can I do? I am confused as to what to do and can't understand his anger... His solution: he will never give me a gift again. The truth: this is his first bad present and he's taking it very badly. Shouldn't I be the one who is disappointed because he didn't listen to what I said? Any advice?
Quoting NVL0707:
My husband would react the sameway if I told him I didn't like a gift.He gets me a necklace for everything!! Birthday,Christmas,mothers day etc.I just take it and say thanks.it sucks though I have so many necklaces I could open a jewelry store.
Start using the gift, just a little at a time, ask him to help you understand how to use it. Hopefully he will get over your reaction and be happy again.
Quoting Cindy18:
Your timing was off but I agree with you. You already told him you didn't like stuff like that. He should have known better.
Does he already have one?? If not, maybe he was figuring he would just use yours. haha (That's awful, I know.)
My husband is always trying to get me to use the gadgets he has. He finally talked me into an apple mini and then I didn't get it for Christmas! I was surprised. He did get me another set of headphones for when I go walking. (He gave me a pair last year that I don't use.) Who knows what goes through men's heads when they are coming up with gift ideas!
I understand what you mean, but I would've just said "thank you" and made the effort to learn to use it. Maybe this is your husband's way of trying to introduce some of the things he likes and a way to show you that all that fancy tech stuff is not overwhelming or anything like that if you give it a shot.
My brother can NEVER please my sister in law. She has taken back evry single gift he's ever bought her... down to the jewelry. He now gives her a gift certificate.
That said... if you gave him a LIST of waht you wanted, he should have stuck to it. I would NOT have asked if he kept the receipt. If this has been going on for a long time, perhaps the two of you need cousneling to learn how to communicate better.
I would suggest that you accept the gift, say thank you and attempt to learn to use it. The best way to learn to use it would be to ask him how to do certain things. My husband got me an iPad for Christmas this year as well. He's an IT man - day in and day out. Even though I'm practical (as are you), I asked him to tutor me on it, and let him know what I might need help keeping organized. What ended up happening was - I have cool apps and programs that save a LOT of time and space in my purse. I can keep up with the family's schedules, set grocery lists, record notes and thoughts, check weather/news etc. I can email doctors and teachers at the drop of a hat. The plus to that - he felt needed and appreciated, not because of jsut the gift, but also because I asked him for HIS expertise, and we actually bonded... over a doggone iPad. lol
Personal responsibility/ government rant
