Advice: I disliked Christmas present from husband... and he's not taking it well.
- 89 Replies
I am a bit confused as to what to do.
A little background story: my husband is into gadgets. I am not. Never have I been fond of fads or gadgets. I am more onto the practical side of things. I use what I need and, what I don't, I either give to someone who needs it or simply don't buy it. This is especially true for expensive gadgets.
My husband, on the other hand, likes all the new fad of touch-screen tablets and phones. He can't wait for the latest 3D TV to come out or the latest camera because he is either researching it or trying to get it (when he has a perfectly good flat screen TV or a two-year old camera he rarely ever uses. Anyways... that's how he is.)
In my case, I don't have time nor the use for those things. Those are the kind of things that collect dust in my closet, so to speak. I am busy with my kids, with the house or doing my own things to be preocuppied with what I call 'stuff.'
Well, for weeks now, my husband had been insisting that I use one of his computers (an ipad.) So, I did and hated it. I am not into touch-screen computers. I like a good keyboard and good speed. That's all I need and I already have a good laptop that works perfectly for me. And this is what I told my husband: 'I don't like it and I am happy with what I have. I do not want another computer.'
Well, come Christmas Day, he hands me a small present. To my surprise, it's an ipad mini. Not what I expected. Something I had told him was too gimmicky for me. I thought that was clear when he saw it on TV when it first came out. Around Thanksgiving Day I gave him my Christmas list... basically 'this is what I like and where you can get it' (I even gave him the codes, seriously, so that he wouldn't have a hard time finding them - concert tickets, 2 perfume choices, 2 books, and 3 sweaters,,, he could choose from any of it.)
When I opened the present, I thanked him as gracefully as I could... however, I made the mistake of asking him if he had kept the receipt so that I could return it. He got very annoyed and later angry with me for not liking this present. Where did I make the mistake? Was I too honest? Funny enough, he always tells me that he likes my sense of honesty with him, that he wished more people were like that.
The way I saw it: I had already stated plainly that I don't like this kind of things. I tried to make him understand that it was like giving me a motorcycle when I don't even like biking. He just didn't get it and he's still very angry at me. What can I do? I am confused as to what to do and can't understand his anger... His solution: he will never give me a gift again. The truth: this is his first bad present and he's taking it very badly. Shouldn't I be the one who is disappointed because he didn't listen to what I said? Any advice?
my husband gives me things i don't like all the time. i usually just say thank you and i never tell him i hate it, i just try it out for a little bit and then if i really can't take it will put it in a drawer or something and he will eventually forget he even gave it to me. he does do really well tho, he tries really hard which is why i don't make a big deal out of it when i don't like it.
That said OP, if you really don't want that iPad mini, I will gladly take it off of your hands. :-)
We've ALWAYS been short money and I completely understand! It makes you feel sick to your stomach, unheard and unappreciated when you receive a gift with money you don't have and know you're going to be having to work to pay this thing off that you didn't want or ask for in the first place, ESPECIALLY when you had told him that you specifically didn't want it! I'd love to say that I would never reacted that way, as others have done, but honestly I would have done the same thing. I'm sorry.
OMG! All these responses from people who are telling you that for some reason you have to just LIE and say THANKS HONEY! How ridiculous! My husband said which presents he loved, and which presents he wasn't sure he'd ever use, but thanks very much for thinking of me, and those presents went into a 'return' pile. My 2 teens also put some things in the return pile.
We all have a polite and honest exchange of information when we open our presents christmas morning.
1) To all presents, we say 'thanks so much!'. An expression of gratitude that the selection of any present means the person loves you and wanted to do something nice for you.
2) Then, an expression of how spot on the selection was - such as:
'I love it! OMG, this is the best.'
"Hmmm. I'm not sure I'd wear it in this color. Do you think it also comes in pink?'
'Oh, no, mom, I don't think I'd ever really use this. It's close though - what I think would work better is xxx'.
That way, we all learn more and more about what is currently our interests and preferences, and everyone, through exchanges and returns, gets what they want.
And family harmony and togetherness is enhanced by polite honesty.
I cannot believe the initial run of answers to this post.
I'm stumped as to the reason your DH 1) got you something that by your past actions and words you weren't likely to appreciate and 2) got pissed off when you didn't find his choice of gift brilliant. Ego? Self-centered? A bit of a bully? Thin-skinned? The healthy reaction is 'oh! my bad guessing at what would be a great present! better luck next time. No prob- I can return it, and we'll use the money to get you something you would like - wanna go shopping for something else this weekend?'
Your timing was off yes, should've just thanked him and went on with the day...... And be lucky your husband cares enough to buy you a nice gift for Christmas. I know alot of women whom don't get that pleasure.
Be gracious. Be grateful. Learn to use it. This Christmas was the first Christmas I have not had a present to open. We are struggling financially and while it was the practical thing to do, it also was sad. I could not imagine not being grateful for whatever I was given.
I totally get you! My husband gets me gadget things sometimes and I never like them, but the difference is that mine doesn't act like that. I'm really sorry he's taking it so hard. I don't want to talk bad about him, but he's acting like a child. I don't think you did anything wrong. You plainly stated to him several times what you DON'T want, and he went and got it anyway. His solution is not a solution at all, and the wrong way to go about solving the problem!
I'm sorry I don't really have advice for you, other than to communicate, but you already have. Maybe just give him time to calm down?
Sesame Street: P is for Prison