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Not sure what to title this, question about marrying someone very different from you.

Posted by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 9:25 PM
  • 15 Replies
I love my husband, no doubts about that and he loves me too. We've had, and still have issues, but we continue to work on them.
One thing I can't seem to get over is the way we both look at life. He and his family are always saying how poor they are, how life was so hard growing up, how kids are lazy these days ( maybe they are but...), and I always feel like they look at me like I think I'm some princess or something. Ok fine, I'm a city girl living in a small town and I'll tell ya, I don't hate it, but there's still lots of city-fied things in me that I just can't get rid of. For example, whenever my husbands mom calls or comes over I feel like I have to be doing something. Now I am not lazy at all but I've never had to milk cows, or collect eggs, or plow the field at 5am, but I do know what work is. I've worked( outside the house ), my whole life until I met husband almost 6 yrs ago. It was a mutual decision for me to stay home, partly because I got pregnant when we got together, but in any event it was a joint decision.

I just feel like sometimes they never look forward to things, like vacations or events, like they think all life is is just work or the next job. Sometimes when I want to sit an watch TV I feel bad, like I should be doing something.

Can anyone relate?
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by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 9:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
nodramamama311
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 9:31 PM
AND like right now my husband is working on our second bathroom and I've offered to help and do anything like a hundred times and he keeps telling me no but still I feel bad.
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nodramamama311
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:18 PM
Bump
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clp0930
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:41 PM

some people enjoy complaining. My fil and my own mother both love to complain. I offer to help and they say no mostly so they can continue to complain.

nodramamama311
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:47 PM
Sometimes that's what I think because I swear so many times we have gone to eat somewhere where they have all bitched about something and I'm thinking to myself why do they keep eating there. It's like they just like to bitch. Its like they want every chance to talk about their hard earned money.... It's so annoying!!!


Quoting clp0930:

some people enjoy complaining. My fil and my own mother both love to complain. I offer to help and they say no mostly so they can continue to complain.


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clp0930
by on Jan. 5, 2013 at 11:52 PM


Quoting nodramamama311:

Sometimes that's what I think because I swear so many times we have gone to eat somewhere where they have all bitched about something and I'm thinking to myself why do they keep eating there. It's like they just like to bitch. Its like they want every chance to talk about their hard earned money.... It's so annoying!!!


Quoting clp0930:

some people enjoy complaining. My fil and my own mother both love to complain. I offer to help and they say no mostly so they can continue to complain.


Some people just have to play martyr. I used to offer my mother cash to pay bills, she wouldrefuse and then complain that I don't help her with bills. I finally just stuck money in her purse and stormed out.Just don't let it get to you. People like that thrive on pity. if someone else says something say "I'm really sorry they feel that way, i offered x, y, z"

nodramamama311
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:39 AM
My husband and his family are ALWAYS saying they/we are poor but yet my MIL and BIL go out to eat literally almost every day. My husband complains all the time about money, saying we will never have this or that. It bugs me so much, no we aren't rich but we have a house, food, clothes, each other. We have things that we bought when we were doing better financially, like an Xbox and things like that. We have 3 vehicles, all old and used but still. That's a lot more than a lot of people have and I can't stand it when they say we're poor!


Quoting clp0930:



Quoting nodramamama311:

Sometimes that's what I think because I swear so many times we have gone to eat somewhere where they have all bitched about something and I'm thinking to myself why do they keep eating there. It's like they just like to bitch. Its like they want every chance to talk about their hard earned money.... It's so annoying!!!





Quoting clp0930:

some people enjoy complaining. My fil and my own mother both love to complain. I offer to help and they say no mostly so they can continue to complain.



Some people just have to play martyr. I used to offer my mother cash to pay bills, she wouldrefuse and then complain that I don't help her with bills. I finally just stuck money in her purse and stormed out.Just don't let it get to you. People like that thrive on pity. if someone else says something say "I'm really sorry they feel that way, i offered x, y, z"


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Jessy613
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 10:39 AM

bump

SlightlyPerfect
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Yesterday at 11:08 AM
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 11:21 AM

I wish I could, but I can't. I wouldn't marry someone with different core values.

slightlyperfect

1likeme
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 11:36 AM
1 mom liked this
Everyone can relate to that on a basic level. People who feel the need to put others down in order to makes themselves feel better is the one who is lacking. Being different is just that. It's not better or worse. Besides the fact that parents have always tried to give their children a better life than they had. Now many children do not have to focus on helping provide for the family. I don't believe that is a bad thing. Maybe the problem is that they chose to focus on negative things instead of focusing on positive things.
nodramamama311
by on Jan. 6, 2013 at 1:20 PM
It's not that, we just grew up so different. Sometimes I feel like they think that I think I'm better or privedged. Definitely princess like but I'm so not. I'm just a cowgirl. I didn't grow up in the country. We had things, we were never rich but we were never poor.


Quoting SlightlyPerfect:

I wish I could, but I can't. I wouldn't marry someone with different core values.


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