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Kids Party (I want the truth)!!!!

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I am getting straight to the point .....

My daughter turned 3 years old Yeah!, I had her an over the top party ,We had 20 kids to show up and all my family and friends came it was great!..

The plot :

My daughters attends a private school ,  I am a homeroom mom ,a very active parent with the school.I invited my daughter class to the party and only 1 child showed up, and her teachers.( Which was wonderful I love them) My daughter consider all her classmates her friends so wanted them to come. My daughter is 1 of 2  kids of color  in her class.Now with that being said. Why do you think none of the other kids showed up? Is it social issues?  Not knowing what to expect because I am of color?

I go to all parties I am sometime the only black but that does not stop me from going , I don't want to put my kids in box some of my good friends are white.I guess it bothers me that I am good enough to put a class party together and they give me praises for but not good enough to attend my daughter party. I am over thinking? I want the truth!!!

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 10:56 AM
Replies (11-20):
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 12:10 AM

Your daughter is 3!!!  Most parents will not take their kids to a party for PRESCHOOLERS, unless it is family.  *I* didn't.  It gets to be insane, if EVERY kid in EVERY class, FROM 2 YEARS UP, has a party that you are supposed to take your kid--and a gift--to.  When my kids were in preschool, and I wanted to do something special for their birthday, I had cheese pizzas and cake DELIVERED TO THE SCHOOL FOR LUNCH.  Sometimes, I had the balloon man, or a clown go there also.  Then there is no stress on the parents.  They do not have to take time away from their families, drag their TODDLER  somewhere strange, or lay out money for gifts.  You are overreacting. 

by Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 12:03 PM
1 mom liked this

 My daughters are half black and well of course my husband is black... im white... i personally get along with "colored" people better as you put it... (i dont want to offend by me using the term black,, sorry) well I look at it this way,, my 7 yr old told me they were talking about skin color "i think her teachers are trying to teach about diversity around the world) but she comes to me and is like "am I peach or black?" I say "your both" and she gets kind of upset when some kids won't play with her... I try to teach my kids that its just a skin color and that no matter what color of skin someone may have that they be friends with them because of whats inside,, not out... I think its wrong that they just assume that you may not have a great party just because your "colored" my own parents and grandparents have to think about picking up a baby doll,, whether to get white or black... its a doll,, it could be purple for all I gives a crap and she would still love it... You are a GREAT mommy it sounds and I would of brought my babies whether you black, white, yellow, green, purple, red, whatever color... just like i encourage my children to play with everyone... KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!

Mommy of 2 girls & TTC #3 twin girls & baby dust

by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 15, 2013 at 7:07 PM

I think you're overthinking it all. The pp hit the nail on the head when she said since you're dd is being invited to other parties, it's not that she's being shunned or anything. That says a lot.

It's probably just a combo of the other factors...time of year, buying a gift, the age of the kids...

by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 7:20 PM

Did the invite get in to parents hands? Maybe they  were worry about being out of place which is kind of lame excuse, I'm all for parties when we get invited.

by Anonymous 6 on Jan. 15, 2013 at 7:31 PM

WHERE was the party and what were the plans?

by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 8:25 PM
1 mom liked this

I would say its more the age than the color of your skin.  Very few kids have shown up for my sons bday party's while he was in pre-k.  A lot of parents aren't sure if they are suppose to stay or not, some can't afford gifts so we always include no gift required to attend on the invite,  and a big factor is the day and time of day that you have the party. We have to compete with football season for my son.

by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 8:33 PM

I honestly think you are more the victim of really rude people than of racism. Too many parents today refuse to commit to any sort of scheduled events, blow off RSVPs, leave it to the last minute, do something else if something better comes up, don't want to be bothered to buy a gift, etc.

After going through the same sort of disappointment you are facing (and BTW, I am white and so were the bulk of the invitees , so I know for sure there was no racism involved in my case) I have dropped parties down to close friends only. The kids actually have more fun sin they are all close buddies, the other moms are the stalwarts that I know will come, rain or shine, and it ends up being a great day instead of a headache.

by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 8:54 PM

 the truth:

While I always have good intentions to show up at the kiddie parties, i usually skip them simply cuz im tired and lazy and the weekends are my down time/errand running time, and when i dont know anyone one else at the party i dont wanna be the awkward stranger who came alone with thier kid. I doubt it had as much to do with race then it did with just having moms already dealing with tight schedules and overall exhaustion after a long workweek either in the home or the office. 

Im pretty sure when she is 12 and parents can drop thier kid off at the party and come get them later you will have a full house :)  

Glad the party turned out well!

by Anonymous 7 on Jan. 15, 2013 at 9:07 PM

No ir happens everywhere. We had a skating party and rented the rink for two hours. it cost us three hundred and fifty dollars, just for that. (No food included), but we could invite one hundred guests, for half the usual price of the public skating fees). So each skater cost us $3.50 each, it would have been ten dollar per skater, if we'd had a ten person party. So we invited a few more than a hundred people, only about half of them showed up, and we had to pay the price regardless, but we had a blast, and to be honest, they all bought their own food and drinks etc. (It was a group birthday party for all our grandchildren) even though their birthdays were in different months. So It's not necessarily you that is the problem. Some of the nicest people we know are also black. So don't worry about it. If you're invited to a kids birthday party with your children, and you can go, Just do it. It's about the children, not the adults.

by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 7:32 PM

I do Big parties for all 3 of mine and we invite about half the class and only 1 maybe 2 will come. I feel like Birthday parties just dont happen anymore. they are rarely invited to them either because nobody has them.

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