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Are you kidding me?

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So my hubby and I are sitting here watching tv im on my computer and bil who is 7 and lived her for almost 5 months is getting really loud with his legos i asked him to be quiet a little as it is settle down time.  I then had to ask him again and then again for the third time.  I said his name and said please be quiet this is my third time asking.  I wasnt yelling or angry just said it normal he then looks at me and say YOU!  Umm Excuse me?? PISSED ME OFF.  Especially since we have just been sitting here. I said WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?  DID YOU JUST SAY YOU?  he said yes so i put him on timeout and told him you do not talk to adult like that.  I looked at my hubby and was like r u serious he never talks to me like that what the hell got into him my husband says IDK  BUT AT LEAST HE DIDNT LIE ABOUT WHAT HE SAID..umm okay that still doesnt make it okay.  I tell lil one that he need to take a 15 min bath and its back on time out til bed time  5-10 more minutes.  He gets out of the bath and my husband asks if he drained that tub he says yea you can look.  In a SNOTTY way.  I didnt even hear him say yea all i head was you can look.  even if he did say yes.  doesnt matter still snotty still rude.  He rarely talks to us this way. And I am stern on how you talk to adults parents or whoever.  My husband then starts defending him AGAIN.  Well he said yes then said go look.  Im like are you kidding me?  He is being a lil brat.  Quit defending him.  Now he keeps glaring at me.  I dont know where he learned this crap but he better knock it off fast!

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 11:44 PM
Replies (21-30):
caitipenn
by Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 11:53 PM

I understand he is defending him because that is his brother.  But at the same time i am an adult and he is a child and he shouldnt talk to ANYONE that way not me his brother NO ONE.  I was frusterated cause i wasnt backed up on that.  He is very comfortable in our home and we give him lots of love and attention.  When he first got here he wouldnt hug ANYONE and say I love you or would ever let people touch him like a pat on the back, hug, NOTHING.  He has now written me little letters saying I love Caitlin, I love my sister in law.  Without anyone telling him too.  When he gets hurt Im the only one he will allow to pick him up and comfort him.  So I wouldnt worry too bad on what kind of parent i am acting toward him like.  He knows i love him just like his brother does.  We have no other children we are not parents at ALL.  This is all new to us like it is to him.  I didnt "start a fight with him"  I just asked him to simmer down and calm down. And way to exaggerate much?  I didnt take anythign out on him.  I did not yell at him once.  I just DO NOT put up with people being rude or disrepectful.  SORRY thats how my house is ran. 

But we are DAMN GOOD gaurdians of him.  All i ment by the he isnt even ours comment was that if he was ours he wouldnt have been raised different.  It is very hard to raise a child that has issues that we didnt raise prior.  It is not easy!! So give me a break!!

Quoting Anonymous:

 He is only 7 and in a home that doesn't have his parents... You DH is defending him because that is his little brother and is trying his best to make him feel welcomed,, which seems you aren't... My step daughter is 7 and she just lost her mom... she lives with us now and got a little snippy... you know what i did,, i hugged her and told her it was ok to be sad and mad and to cry and you know what she did,, she hugged me and cried... he freaking misses his parents get over the little attitude and grow up... are you 7? why fight with a 7 yr old. time out if he cusses at you or throws something but a little attitude isn't cause for a major fight... and the "he isnt even ours" comment makes me wonder what kind of parent you are acting as to him... And I feel so bad for that kid... My step daughter knows I love her and I make sure she knows I love her just as much as my bio daughter... I treat them the same and always have even though "she isnt mine" I claim her as mine because im not gonna segregate my children... they are mine and I let them know it... I dont care if you have had the worst day on the planet,, to take it out on a 7 yr old disgusts me...


caitipenn
by Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 11:58 PM

He is my husband little brother.

Quoting Tiny.Gypsy:

Whos is he?

Quoting caitipenn:

 

Quoting rbailey2414:

He's a child learning his boundaries. Just reinforce respect to him. Raising children is not an easy task :)


plus he isnt even ours.  Now that he is asleep maybe i was a lil to stern ive had a rough day and with taking care of him now we are super low on money, my job sucked today i had one of my fav residents pass and the other one will be gone probably by friday.  Its just frusterating.  I know he learns some of it from this one kid at his daycare he is snotty too his parents are going through a divorce. 



caitipenn
by Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 12:01 AM

Yes he is 7 and is my brother in law.  I know its sounds weird people get confused all the time especially at the school when i pick him up they are like ur aunts here or ur mom is here.  He tells them no thats tha sister IN LAW! lol its pretty cute.  My husband is 25.  His mom had him pretty young the 7 year old is the youngest out of all the kids.

Quoting wissotamum:

He's 7.  They act like that sometimes.  He's your brother in law? 

I'd give a time out for cursing.  But then, I'd follow it up with spending a little extra time with you.  If he's having a tough time missing parents, he might need a little extra nurturing from you.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 16, 2013 at 7:38 AM
1 mom liked this
Wow im sorry you didnt understand when you have children (yours or take someone elses) you dont get a choice of when you want to relax. Relaxing can include him.. also just bc your taking him places and playing a game with him does not mean your present in the moment and kids pick up on that. Once again give a feeling of family support... Good luck.


Quoting caitipenn:

Wow im sorry for one night we wanted to relax! Since u already ASSUME we dont spend time with him ill enlighten u n let u know we are always taking him to the park. Playing board games he loves trouble n sorry. Playing video games with him. Taking him to jump houses ect. And every tues is pizza family night. Just fyi. We do get off our buts n spend time with him.




Quoting Anonymous:

Hes 7 get off your computer and turn off the tv and give him some family support, sit on the floor and play with the boy.


caitipenn
by Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:36 AM
Get real. Your seriously going to tell me since uv become a parent u dont take on down time n relax? Especially right before bed time when its down tim? Im thinking bull shit! Get off your high horse!


Quoting Anonymous:

Wow im sorry you didnt understand when you have children (yours or take someone elses) you dont get a choice of when you want to relax. Relaxing can include him.. also just bc your taking him places and playing a game with him does not mean your present in the moment and kids pick up on that. Once again give a feeling of family support... Good luck.




Quoting caitipenn:

Wow im sorry for one night we wanted to relax! Since u already ASSUME we dont spend time with him ill enlighten u n let u know we are always taking him to the park. Playing board games he loves trouble n sorry. Playing video games with him. Taking him to jump houses ect. And every tues is pizza family night. Just fyi. We do get off our buts n spend time with him.






Quoting Anonymous:

Hes 7 get off your computer and turn off the tv and give him some family support, sit on the floor and play with the boy.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mamakin616
by Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 9:50 AM

Hopefully he is just pushing you to see how far things will go.which all kids do at one time or another,and with some kids they seem to do it more often then not.But sometimes when kids start acting out at home for no reason when it is really not even called for,then something more might be going on...maybe getting picked on in school or by kids in the area,a teacher being a bit harder on them in class than is actually needed. and they only have you to lash out at.I would try to talk to him tonight ...Just say Hey what was up with you talking back to me like you did?You don't usually act that way,is something wrong..something bothering you that you needto discuss so that your not all grumpy or sassy to me/?It might help //I always try to question my kids when they have a change in the way they normally behave and see why ,or whats making them act in a different manner.

caitipenn
by Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:11 AM
Yea when he woke up the next morning he apologized. He was back to his sweet self. I think he was just tired n got sassy with me. He has a really hard time expressing him self on how he feels n y he does the things he does. We do the whats going on y r u acting like this questions with him. Explaining is very hard for him. I think its because before us he went to three different schools this year by sept oct. N we found out from his school that he was barely at kindergarten level n he is in 1st grade. So i dont think he knows what alot of words mean because we are always having to explain words. So i think that may b why he has a hard time explaining what he does n why. But we r working hard with him n is already pretty much at grade level.


Quoting mamakin616:

Hopefully he is just pushing you to see how far things will go.which all kids do at one time or another,and with some kids they seem to do it more often then not.But sometimes when kids start acting out at home for no reason when it is really not even called for,then something more might be going on...maybe getting picked on in school or by kids in the area,a teacher being a bit harder on them in class than is actually needed. and they only have you to lash out at.I would try to talk to him tonight ...Just say Hey what was up with you talking back to me like you did?You don't usually act that way,is something wrong..something bothering you that you needto discuss so that your not all grumpy or sassy to me/?It might help //I always try to question my kids when they have a change in the way they normally behave and see why ,or whats making them act in a different manner.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mamakin616
by Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:27 AM

It can be very hard on kids when they go through so many changes especially with schools ,just making friends and starting to feel that you belong and then you get picked up and moved somewhere else.I did it all the time as a child because of my fathers work,I hated it and after awhile i didn't even bother to make any new friends because I knew I would have to leave them.It sounds like you are doing a great job and He needs you both ,Family is the most important connection for little ones,they need to know that they are loved and that they belong to someone and someplace no matter what happens.Respect is one thing that he will always have for you,it might just be hard to showitlike you said.But to him ,you are the one that is giving Him his family and he might push to make sure hat you will keep him with you no matter what he does.You are doing a wonderful thing .

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 16, 2013 at 12:09 PM
Im not on a high horse.. my down times comes when my kids go to sleep. At night we sit and read books, color, maybe watch a short movie, I would rather spend an extra 20-30 min with them then be online or watching tv and not including them..

For whatever reason he is not with his bio parents, he still in griving, not having them around.. He needs more family support then ever..


Quoting caitipenn:

Get real. Your seriously going to tell me since uv become a parent u dont take on down time n relax? Especially right before bed time when its down tim? Im thinking bull shit! Get off your high horse!




Quoting Anonymous:

Wow im sorry you didnt understand when you have children (yours or take someone elses) you dont get a choice of when you want to relax. Relaxing can include him.. also just bc your taking him places and playing a game with him does not mean your present in the moment and kids pick up on that. Once again give a feeling of family support... Good luck.






Quoting caitipenn:

Wow im sorry for one night we wanted to relax! Since u already ASSUME we dont spend time with him ill enlighten u n let u know we are always taking him to the park. Playing board games he loves trouble n sorry. Playing video games with him. Taking him to jump houses ect. And every tues is pizza family night. Just fyi. We do get off our buts n spend time with him.








Quoting Anonymous:

Hes 7 get off your computer and turn off the tv and give him some family support, sit on the floor and play with the boy.




caitipenn
by Member on Jan. 16, 2013 at 6:00 PM
Thank u.


Quoting mamakin616:

It can be very hard on kids when they go through so many changes especially with schools ,just making friends and starting to feel that you belong and then you get picked up and moved somewhere else.I did it all the time as a child because of my fathers work,I hated it and after awhile i didn't even bother to make any new friends because I knew I would have to leave them.It sounds like you are doing a great job and He needs you both ,Family is the most important connection for little ones,they need to know that they are loved and that they belong to someone and someplace no matter what happens.Respect is one thing that he will always have for you,it might just be hard to showitlike you said.But to him ,you are the one that is giving Him his family and he might push to make sure hat you will keep him with you no matter what he does.You are doing a wonderful thing .


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