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Excuses

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 3:21 PM
  • 9 Replies
2 moms liked this

Nothing ticks me off more than people making excuses for things.

I do not allow my child to say "I Can't". Because, well, she CAN. The same goes for everyone else that I know. I always tell them, no matter what the situation, they CAN change it, if they just work hard and put some real effort into it.

Think you can't get a job? You can, if you put in the foot work and the effort. Call the employers every other day and ask them if they have had a chance to read your app. Bug the hell out of them-- make them understand you WANT the job. Then when you get it, work your ass off to prove yourself.

Think you can't work because you can't afford daycare? Take an opposite shift of your SO, and make him to his part as a parent. Talk to your family and see if someone would be willing to watch the kids for a reasonable rate. See if a neighbor teen is in need of a little extra spending cash. There is always an option.

Think you can't afford the bare necessities every month? Start making cut backs-- start using coupons-- buy seasonal or sale/generic foods-- learn to cook things using bulk products. Learn to budget, and stick with it. See if a bus ticket is cheaper than using your car-- or better yet, see if you can walk to work or share a ride with someone.


Ladies-- stop making excuses for your lives. Every one of you is better than that- whether you believe it or not.


by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 3:21 PM
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Replies (1-9):
StarLight23
by Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 3:31 PM

I agree.. I will never have my son use the word can't unless he actually can't.

I could not get a job with the hours I could work. No one would hire me being a housewife for 8 years and the last time I worked was 10 years ago. I could not do opposite shifts because I don't have a job and I don't have transportation. Plus my husband has to sleep sometime and taking care of kids while you're supposed to be asleep don't mix.

I can't afford childcare either. Mine would be a lot more expensive than daycare. Try finding a babysitter with experience in special needs. If you think childcare is hard just imagine how hard it is to find someone who will care for a child's special needs.

We do coupon, buy store brand, and make most things from scratch. I love to bake :) I don't live beyond our means and we don't have cable or a home phone (nor do we desire cable again if we still can't afford it. We have a cell phone that's prepaid and we do pretty well with the income we do get from my husband's work.. Yes my husband does work to support us.

Yes.. Perfect in theory but hard to apply to every situation.

And FYI I am going to school to get my Bachelor's degree! I DID go to some college before I got married or had a family so don't use that one on me to get an education before baby!

fullxbusymom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 3:35 PM

Well it depends what my kids say they can't too.  I will never say they are not allowed to use that word because there are situations that it is perfectly acceptable.

To friends no I CAN'T go in the street, no I CAN'T throw eggs at that bldg.

In life no I CAN'T lift that 50lb log etc.

No I can't work the opposite shift as my husband as he doesn't have set hours he leaves the house at 4am and some days will get home at 4 or 5pm other days he may not get home till 9pm.  Yes he is a truck driver.  Also I can't afford over $800 a week in daycare for 4 kids and that would be on the cheap end for fulltime.

We do use coupons, sale and generic items.  I also cook 90% from scratch including any sweets.  We don't have public transportation here and nothing is within walking distance.  Even my childs school is over 6mi one way across a hwhy so they can not even consider walking.

So although what you write is perfect in theory, it isn't always feasible or reality.

CountryLayne
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 4:18 PM

In situations like you are talking about- I still do not use the word CAN'T.

You CAN walk into the street, but you might get hit by a car.

You CAN throw eggs at a building, but you would face the consequences if you did.

Instead, say "You are not allowed to...". Solves that problem right there.


By the way, you CAN lift that 50 lb. log- just ask for some help.

And P.S.- Daycare is not the only option available. There are teen sitters, friends, family, etc. available. All it takes is some looking around and asking for references. You would be amazed what happens when you ask for help. Look for a college student needing to make a little extra for her books next semester. Then look for a job, working around those hours.

If your kids are 6 miles from the school, there should be some sort of bus system in place for kids needing to get to school. I highly doubt that the school district wouldn't offer it.


I am just saying- you think things are impossible. I say they are not.

It is OK for you to disagree with me. But you better believe I will attempt to show you an answer to nearly every one of your "I Can't" scenarios. Things ARE feasible, and very do-able in real life, if you just put your mind and effort into it.

Quoting fullxbusymom:

Well it depends what my kids say they can't too.  I will never say they are not allowed to use that word because there are situations that it is perfectly acceptable.

To friends no I CAN'T go in the street, no I CAN'T throw eggs at that bldg.

In life no I CAN'T lift that 50lb log etc.

No I can't work the opposite shift as my husband as he doesn't have set hours he leaves the house at 4am and some days will get home at 4 or 5pm other days he may not get home till 9pm.  Yes he is a truck driver.  Also I can't afford over $800 a week in daycare for 4 kids and that would be on the cheap end for fulltime.

We do use coupons, sale and generic items.  I also cook 90% from scratch including any sweets.  We don't have public transportation here and nothing is within walking distance.  Even my childs school is over 6mi one way across a hwhy so they can not even consider walking.

So although what you write is perfect in theory, it isn't always feasible or reality.



fullxbusymom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 5:33 PM

We don't have any friends or teen sitters that we know here and if I had to work during the day teens are in school.  All our friends also work. Kindergartners need to be driven to and from school they are not allowed to take the bus because they are half days.

Older kids do take the bus except now that they are in midterms and they have to be in and picked up at different times.  Plus there is no bus system to get them to and from their sports.

I am just trying to say there is perfectly acceptable uses for the word I can't other than excuses.  I gave a few above.  You opted to simply change the wording but ultimately it comes out in the wash as the exact same meaning.

Quoting CountryLayne:

In situations like you are talking about- I still do not use the word CAN'T.

You CAN walk into the street, but you might get hit by a car.

You CAN throw eggs at a building, but you would face the consequences if you did.

Instead, say "You are not allowed to...". Solves that problem right there.


By the way, you CAN lift that 50 lb. log- just ask for some help.

And P.S.- Daycare is not the only option available. There are teen sitters, friends, family, etc. available. All it takes is some looking around and asking for references. You would be amazed what happens when you ask for help. Look for a college student needing to make a little extra for her books next semester. Then look for a job, working around those hours.

If your kids are 6 miles from the school, there should be some sort of bus system in place for kids needing to get to school. I highly doubt that the school district wouldn't offer it.


I am just saying- you think things are impossible. I say they are not.

It is OK for you to disagree with me. But you better believe I will attempt to show you an answer to nearly every one of your "I Can't" scenarios. Things ARE feasible, and very do-able in real life, if you just put your mind and effort into it.

Quoting fullxbusymom:

Well it depends what my kids say they can't too.  I will never say they are not allowed to use that word because there are situations that it is perfectly acceptable.

To friends no I CAN'T go in the street, no I CAN'T throw eggs at that bldg.

In life no I CAN'T lift that 50lb log etc.

No I can't work the opposite shift as my husband as he doesn't have set hours he leaves the house at 4am and some days will get home at 4 or 5pm other days he may not get home till 9pm.  Yes he is a truck driver.  Also I can't afford over $800 a week in daycare for 4 kids and that would be on the cheap end for fulltime.

We do use coupons, sale and generic items.  I also cook 90% from scratch including any sweets.  We don't have public transportation here and nothing is within walking distance.  Even my childs school is over 6mi one way across a hwhy so they can not even consider walking.

So although what you write is perfect in theory, it isn't always feasible or reality.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 15, 2013 at 6:08 PM
The USA is full of people with excuses.
Imacakebaker
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 6:13 PM

Can't in our home is worse than the F word.

CountryLayne
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM

Look at help wanted ads for sitters- or make your own. Facebook has tons of buy/sell/trade pages where people say they need extra income all the time. You can look into those. How about car pooling with other moms? Take turns, and save the trouble of having to go every single day. Midterms are normally taken IN school- why would they miss the bus for something like that?

Physically, people can do the things you mentioned. Should they? No. Are they allowed to? No.

Can they? Physically? Yes.

Quoting fullxbusymom:

We don't have any friends or teen sitters that we know here and if I had to work during the day teens are in school.  All our friends also work. Kindergartners need to be driven to and from school they are not allowed to take the bus because they are half days.

Older kids do take the bus except now that they are in midterms and they have to be in and picked up at different times.  Plus there is no bus system to get them to and from their sports.

I am just trying to say there is perfectly acceptable uses for the word I can't other than excuses.  I gave a few above.  You opted to simply change the wording but ultimately it comes out in the wash as the exact same meaning.

Quoting CountryLayne:

In situations like you are talking about- I still do not use the word CAN'T.

You CAN walk into the street, but you might get hit by a car.

You CAN throw eggs at a building, but you would face the consequences if you did.

Instead, say "You are not allowed to...". Solves that problem right there.


By the way, you CAN lift that 50 lb. log- just ask for some help.

And P.S.- Daycare is not the only option available. There are teen sitters, friends, family, etc. available. All it takes is some looking around and asking for references. You would be amazed what happens when you ask for help. Look for a college student needing to make a little extra for her books next semester. Then look for a job, working around those hours.

If your kids are 6 miles from the school, there should be some sort of bus system in place for kids needing to get to school. I highly doubt that the school district wouldn't offer it.


I am just saying- you think things are impossible. I say they are not.

It is OK for you to disagree with me. But you better believe I will attempt to show you an answer to nearly every one of your "I Can't" scenarios. Things ARE feasible, and very do-able in real life, if you just put your mind and effort into it.

Quoting fullxbusymom:

Well it depends what my kids say they can't too.  I will never say they are not allowed to use that word because there are situations that it is perfectly acceptable.

To friends no I CAN'T go in the street, no I CAN'T throw eggs at that bldg.

In life no I CAN'T lift that 50lb log etc.

No I can't work the opposite shift as my husband as he doesn't have set hours he leaves the house at 4am and some days will get home at 4 or 5pm other days he may not get home till 9pm.  Yes he is a truck driver.  Also I can't afford over $800 a week in daycare for 4 kids and that would be on the cheap end for fulltime.

We do use coupons, sale and generic items.  I also cook 90% from scratch including any sweets.  We don't have public transportation here and nothing is within walking distance.  Even my childs school is over 6mi one way across a hwhy so they can not even consider walking.

So although what you write is perfect in theory, it isn't always feasible or reality.





CountryLayne
by on Jan. 15, 2013 at 6:24 PM
1 mom liked this

It is in ours, too.

I always tell my daughter- she can do anything she truly sets her mind to. If she fails, at least she tried. But when she tries to tell me she can't do something, I give her the eyebrow and say, "You.... CAN'T?? I beg to differ..."

I will not allow my daughter to grow up to be what my grandmother called "soft". In other words (grandma's words) lazy, irresponsible, incompetent.

Quoting Imacakebaker:

Can't in our home is worse than the F word.



fullxbusymom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 15, 2013 at 6:49 PM

I don't live near anyone to car pool with.  It is easier for us and honestly less gas to just go the direct route ourselves. We live pretty rurally. 

For midterms they don't miss the bus there schedule changes and it doesn't coincide w/the bus times.  So today my 9th grader couldn't go till 10am, he also needed to stay after school for extra help so missed the bus that way.  Tomorrow I am not sure I think my other one needs to be driven in for the same reason.

Sorry but honestly I don't allow strangers to watch my kids that also doesn't help w/trying to afford it.  I have 4 kids that would need daycare and I would work simply to pay for the daycare.  I wouldn't earn even $300 a week and daycare private or facility would be WAY more than that. 

No they aren't allowed and to a kid because they aren't allowed they can't.  To me tit for tat really.  Simply it boils down to you don't like the word. 

Quoting CountryLayne:

Look at help wanted ads for sitters- or make your own. Facebook has tons of buy/sell/trade pages where people say they need extra income all the time. You can look into those. How about car pooling with other moms? Take turns, and save the trouble of having to go every single day. Midterms are normally taken IN school- why would they miss the bus for something like that?

Physically, people can do the things you mentioned. Should they? No. Are they allowed to? No.

Can they? Physically? Yes.

Quoting fullxbusymom:

We don't have any friends or teen sitters that we know here and if I had to work during the day teens are in school.  All our friends also work. Kindergartners need to be driven to and from school they are not allowed to take the bus because they are half days.

Older kids do take the bus except now that they are in midterms and they have to be in and picked up at different times.  Plus there is no bus system to get them to and from their sports.

I am just trying to say there is perfectly acceptable uses for the word I can't other than excuses.  I gave a few above.  You opted to simply change the wording but ultimately it comes out in the wash as the exact same meaning.

Quoting CountryLayne:

In situations like you are talking about- I still do not use the word CAN'T.

You CAN walk into the street, but you might get hit by a car.

You CAN throw eggs at a building, but you would face the consequences if you did.

Instead, say "You are not allowed to...". Solves that problem right there.


By the way, you CAN lift that 50 lb. log- just ask for some help.

And P.S.- Daycare is not the only option available. There are teen sitters, friends, family, etc. available. All it takes is some looking around and asking for references. You would be amazed what happens when you ask for help. Look for a college student needing to make a little extra for her books next semester. Then look for a job, working around those hours.

If your kids are 6 miles from the school, there should be some sort of bus system in place for kids needing to get to school. I highly doubt that the school district wouldn't offer it.


I am just saying- you think things are impossible. I say they are not.

It is OK for you to disagree with me. But you better believe I will attempt to show you an answer to nearly every one of your "I Can't" scenarios. Things ARE feasible, and very do-able in real life, if you just put your mind and effort into it.

Quoting fullxbusymom:

Well it depends what my kids say they can't too.  I will never say they are not allowed to use that word because there are situations that it is perfectly acceptable.

To friends no I CAN'T go in the street, no I CAN'T throw eggs at that bldg.

In life no I CAN'T lift that 50lb log etc.

No I can't work the opposite shift as my husband as he doesn't have set hours he leaves the house at 4am and some days will get home at 4 or 5pm other days he may not get home till 9pm.  Yes he is a truck driver.  Also I can't afford over $800 a week in daycare for 4 kids and that would be on the cheap end for fulltime.

We do use coupons, sale and generic items.  I also cook 90% from scratch including any sweets.  We don't have public transportation here and nothing is within walking distance.  Even my childs school is over 6mi one way across a hwhy so they can not even consider walking.

So although what you write is perfect in theory, it isn't always feasible or reality.





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