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School Tells Bullied Sixth Grader to Get a Breast Reduction

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School Tells Bullied Sixth Grader to Get a Breast Reduction

Posted by Jeanne Sager
on January 18, 2013 at 4:20 PM

boobies braceletIn every grade school class there is that one girl who develops way ahead of the pack. She's the envy of some, the nightmare of others, and an easy target for bullies. And for one sixth grade girl in Missouri, the bullying got really out of control when it started coming from her school administrators who told the 13-year-old to get a breast reduction!

Well, the school got one thing right -- something needs to be done about the boobs. And by that I mean the administrators who would dare tell a child that their body is the problem.

What's next? Telling the overweight girl that she needs to take up an eating disorder so people will leave her alone? Or maybe the schools will start requiring plastic surgery for the kid with the port wine stain?

Or, you know, we could just tell the bullies where to shove it.

Sigh. I wish I could re-write this story for this poor girl, that school administrators would have done their jobs and told the kids picking on her breasts to grow up.

But for some reason this "blame the victim" mentality seems to be entrenched in schools all across this country. It's not just the boobs in the Riverview Gardens School District. A mom recently related that her son was being called a gay slur by his classmates. The school's response? They told her to cut her son's hair.

This is just what the bullies want -- they want to make life harder for their victims, and when districts turn on the kids who are being wronged, they're playing right into their hands. This poor girl is simply growing. She can't help that. But in telling her to get a breast reduction, the school is trying to make science and nature the bad guy here instead of the kids who need to learn some compassion.

Is it any wonder kids are bullies? We still have adults who work with kids and who find it acceptable to treat kids as if their naturally developing bodies are a problem. Until the adults change, this is not going to stop!

Have you dealt with a "blame the victim" issue in your district? What happened?

by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 1:27 PM
Replies (61-70):
Mama2ETA
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 3:35 PM
Oh, and i was bullied in 2nd grade when i started changing. I shaved my legs in 2nd grade because my legs were black and I'm a very paddle person with dark hair. I started my period at 10. Had breasts by 6th grade too.
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kailu1835
by Bronze Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 3:37 PM
Beyond idiotic. A kid I babysat for was being bullied, and the school told him to "not let others' words bother him." The end result is that one day he got fed up with nobody standing up for him(for months on end), and bashed the other kid's face in. When you constantly blame the victim, and tell him/her that it is the victim's fault, you cannot hold them responsible for taking matters into their own hands.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Jan. 19, 2013 at 3:37 PM
lol why is she 13 & in the 6th grade! my dd will be 13 this year when he turns 13 he will already be a month into the 8th grade..... I don't believe the story.
MomofSCMJJA
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 3:45 PM

I usually take the stance that we don't know the whole story and we can't really judge based on a soundbite.  But I can't conceive of any possible circumstances that could make this any less disgusting!

Clairwil
by Silver Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 3:49 PM
Quoting randi1978:

This is absolutely disgusting on the part of the school.  Particularly in this instance because it is something completely out of the girl's control.  I'd have slapped anyone who would suggest such a thing to my child.

It's not as uncommon as some might believe.  I forget where I read about it, but some report or survey came about and school staff actually often agreed with the bullies and felt that the kids being bullied should try to make an effort to try not to stand out.

I dealt with some shit through grade school and middle school and all the school suggested was that I try to "fit in" better, stop writing and drawing my weird stuff and actually act like a "normal" girl.

Humans have a strong instinct to make people in a group conform to the 'norms' of the group.   This can have good effects, such as applying peer pressure to deter cowards, criminals and parasites.

Humans also tend to define who is 'in' by making clear who is 'out'.  Again, in the tribal past, knowing the enemy, not trusting them and doing them down when possible might have had survival advantages for the tribe.

But these are instincts, not reasoned things.   They don't distinguish between situations where such actions are justified and where they are not justified, because that's higher reasoning.

So, just occasionally, someone gets bullied because they are pissing off everyone around them, not just by being different, but being different in a way that harms the group.   That's why bullying is never going to 100% disappear.  It is a group's 'self-defence' mechanism, among other things.

But, mostly, it is going to persecute difference even when that difference is one that ought to be tolerated, in an effort to find someone to be the 'out' groups, to consolidate by contrast the group identify of the 'in' group.

If you have a strange hair cut, or the wrong clothes, or draw "weird" drawings, that makes you visibly different. and one tactic available to you is to change so as not to stick out.   But you shouldn't have to do that.   Even if the teachers know they won't be able to stop 100% of the bullying against you, they should still be your champions and try, EVEN IF IT WOULD BE TRIVIAL OF YOU TO CHANGE THE THING MAKING YOU VISIBLY DIFFERENT, if you decide you don't want to take the easy course and change.   It is your right not to take the easy course, even if that means more work for the teachers.

And what may, to a teacher, seem to be 'the easy course' may not be.  Giving up drawing the drawings that YOU find inside you, may be the death of the artist inside you.   Ever read about Searle's experiences at school?

Lilrebelmomma
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 3:59 PM
That is so aweful!!! I went through tht bullying in school because I developed early. But never did my teachers bully me!!! It is down right outrageous tht the adults at this school act like tht. They should be fired n never be allowed to work with kids again. How would they feel if the bullying got so bad for this girl tht she does something like suicide. I can't believe wht this world is coming too!!!
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Jan. 19, 2013 at 3:59 PM

I would raising hell if I were this mom. I have never heard of this kind of thing. Has it really been that long since I've been in school? Goodness. I WAS that over developed girl...and no one in school made fun of my boobs. They we're mostly jealous, and the ones who weren't would tell me, "how does that happen? Is there something I can do to make mine grow like that?" and I was never ever teased by a boy for it lol. I started developing faster in 3rd grade. I only got teased for being overweight...and that's been an issue since the dawn of time. School DID do something about it, cause my mom was the scary mom that no one EVER wanted to come in lol (She's bi-polar). I did decide to get on anti-depressants (my parents were in middle of divorce and my dad was being a jerk) and exercise it off.  The only time I was ever discriminated against was in 7th when we got a new VP who was a woman, who was exceptionally skinny with no boobs. I was wearing LEI jeans and a thick white blouse. It was short sleeve, and went nearly up to my neck, and went down to my hips. My bra was white, and it was not see through. She comes in, pulls me out of class, and FORCES me to go into the lost and found, and pick out a dirty white gym t-shirt 5 sizes too big (boys) and forces me to wear it. Tells me she will expell me if I put the other shirt back on. She also kept me in the office for a whole day, because my skirt flew up and exposed my underware one morning when it was windy. I didn't usually wear skirts and I was dressed for play practice, My skirt was the length of my knees and my shirt was a regular black v-neck. not too low cut. This was in the same week...my mother was livid...and she soon figured out why no one liked it when my mom came in. She came in, grabbed me out of the office and said let's go, we were going to the school board. They came chasing after me, yelling at my mom she had to sign me out, she told them she was not signing me out so they could get paid for teaching me when I had in fact learned nothing that day besides how to sit in the office because the VP is jealous that her daughter has tits and she doesn't. She was going to the school board to complain.She tried to grab my other arm, and things almost got physical between she and my mother. At the end of the year that VP was fired. She never bothered me again. She was fired not just for harassing students, but for embezzlement. This is ridiculous, if I were this girls mom I'd be all over it. What the hell has happened to society that it's just ok to bully people and the school protects the bullies and tells the victim to change...well, I know what's happened. The kinds of parents that piss me off...that's what.

Lilrebelmomma
by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 4:00 PM
That is so aweful!!! I went through tht bullying in school because I developed early. But never did my teachers bully me!!! It is down right outrageous tht the adults at this school act like tht. They should be fired n never be allowed to work with kids again. How would they feel if the bullying got so bad for this girl tht she does something like suicide. I can't believe wht this world is coming too!!!
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Jan. 19, 2013 at 4:19 PM
They are asking for lawsuits.
motherslove82
by Member on Jan. 19, 2013 at 4:20 PM
Poor girl. And people wonder why kids feel hopeless in these situations.
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