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The Cafe The Cafe

I'm in a rut

Posted by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 2:03 PM
  • 8 Replies

Even through most of my pregnancy I put a lot of effort into my appearance. I didn't have trouble losing my baby weight (dd is 2months, don't bash me) but I don't feel pretty at all. My hair jst hangs, I need to get a cut but I can never find time.I'm so depserate I've considered getting my hair cut at walmart.  I hardly have time to put makep on or dress up the way I used to. 

It makes me really depressed, not because I feel looks are the only thing that matters but because dressing up used to be my way of relaxing. I feel like I never get a moment of peace. I'm constantly doing something for dd or dh, I honestly wonder what will happen when i go back to work. DH is a good gy and he tries but dd gets frustrated spending more than 20-30mins with him at a time.

Not working and not looking good my self-esteem is at 0. Also the cheating posts on cm don't help, they bring up a lot of my insecurities even though dh isn't a cheater.

by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 2:03 PM
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Replies (1-8):
clp0930
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 2:12 PM

seriously no one feels the same?

MyAngels0103
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 2:15 PM

I understand where you are coming from, and there are days I feel like this as well. I miss the days of make up and doing my hair all the time, and dressing up. But than I had to go back to work, and there just was not any time for it, I was lucky if I could slap my hair into a halfway decent hairstyle.

Now Im a stay at home mom again, and I just realized, that make up, and hair styling is not what matters. Taking care of my kids, and our house, and our dog, is what matters, they dont care if mom is wearing make up. I wake up feeling good about myself everyday now. 


So maybe you need to figure out a new way to feel better about yourself? Think of all the positive things you do in the day? If that does not work, than take 10 min's away from Cafemom and throw on some make up? Throw together a cute outfit, go for a walk? You will get back to being happy 

dingysfamily
by Suzi on Jan. 22, 2013 at 2:15 PM

 As for those cheating post ... don't read them!  It's as simple as that.  You do have the choice as to what to read and what not to read, don't you?  Skip them!!  Hey, I've known people that have gotten good cuts at walmart ... I've also known people that have gotten bad cuts at mor expensive salons.  I think you just need to start small and work your way up, maybe with a nice bubble bath at the end of the day to recharge.  Then in the morning, just force yourself to put on something nicer than your p.j.'s ... even if it's just a nice pair of lounging p.j.'s if your just staying home for the day.  Take 5 minutes to brush your hair & maybe put on some lip gloss & a bit of blush if you really miss the make-up.  Tell yourself you are looking good, you don't have to be dressed to the hill for that.  Your kids don't care; your 'mommy' and they love you ... just the way you are!

MyAngels0103
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 2:16 PM
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and don't read the cheating posts. Thats the easiest way to solve that. There is always a way to find time to yourself. It might not be a lot, but I'm sure you can squeeze some in there, Im sure your dd sleeps right?


MiddleAgeMess
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 2:20 PM
1 mom liked this
I was single when I had my ds, but I got into the same rut. It's really important that you let/trust your dh take care of the baby for longer than 30 minutes, regardless if he's crying. (he's = dh or the baby...or both ;) )

LEAVE. THE. HOUSE. Leave baby w/ dh and hit the spa or even go to a friend's or your Mother's house and get your haircut, do your nails (hands and feet), soak in a tub, go to Sephora and have them fix up your face and buy something mildly indulgent even if it is just a lipstick.

In 15 minutes you can put on BB cream, a touch of blush, mascara, and lipstick. Do it every time you get out of the shower. Learn how to make a great bun &/or braid so it feels like you did something to your hair. And make sure you dress every day. A decent top, pants/jeans, and shoes. It will do so much for your self esteem.
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clp0930
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 2:58 PM



Quoting MiddleAgeMess:

I was single when I had my ds, but I got into the same rut. It's really important that you let/trust your dh take care of the baby for longer than 30 minutes, regardless if he's crying. (he's = dh or the baby...or both ;) )

LEAVE. THE. HOUSE. Leave baby w/ dh and hit the spa or even go to a friend's or your Mother's house and get your haircut, do your nails (hands and feet), soak in a tub, go to Sephora and have them fix up your face and buy something mildly indulgent even if it is just a lipstick.

In 15 minutes you can put on BB cream, a touch of blush, mascara, and lipstick. Do it every time you get out of the shower. Learn how to make a great bun &/or braid so it feels like you did something to your hair. And make sure you dress every day. A decent top, pants/jeans, and shoes. It will do so much for your self esteem.

BB cream is amazing.

I'm going to have to leave the house for the experiment to work because 5 mins into my alone time he wanders in either for help with the baby or to hang out. Its like having a tall, furry child.




MiddleAgeMess
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 3:04 PM
Yep...and it will be that way for the next 18 years, lol. He CAN do it, it's just really easy for him to get your help since you're right there & WILL do it.
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Christy1919
by Member on Jan. 23, 2013 at 12:51 AM
Okay it's not like you have cancer or are dying this is fixable. Go get a hair cut. Viola
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