Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The Cafe The Cafe

I try not to judge but this just pissed me off!! PIOG

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My friend and I have known each other for over 5 years. For as long as she can remember, doctors told her that she wasn't able to get pregnant......something having to do with her cervix.....or ovaries. I'm not sure.

Anyhow........she got together with her, now, husband and they got pregnant. I thought that, right there, was a miracle.

So all throughout her pregnancy she was telling me how she was going to breastfeed.

Her and her husband don't have a lot of money since they take care of her step daughter and her younger sister.

She has a big family and her family is there for support and we gave her a baby shower and she got a lot of nice things for the baby. And her family helps her out when they can. They bought her things for the baby throughout her pregnancy.

I told her since my son is 7 months old that I would give her his clothes since she was having a baby boy.

Well she had her baby last week.

This is the part that pisses me off, not only did she smoke throughout her entire pregnancy but as soon as she got home from the hospital she put her son on formula.

She breastfed while in the hospital telling me she was going to continue breastfeeding when she was home.

Nothing is wrong with her or the baby that would cause her to stop. Nothing!! They are totally healthy.

I never once said a word to her about how much I'm against pregnant women who smoke and women who decide to formula feed just because they want to.

I don't plan on telling her. Like I said in my title I try really hard not to judge but this whole thing just pisses me off!!

The thing that is really sad is this is her MIRACLE baby and this is the shit she is doing to him. If I had a miracle baby, I would take the extra step to make sure that he would be as healthy as possible. Because she smoked throughout her pregnancy, now there's a high risk of that baby having asthma.

I'm so pissed at her, not only will I NOT give her my sons clothes, but I refuse to be her friend any longer!! She doesn't deserve it because she is selfish!!

Vent over.

=)

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 24, 2013 at 11:35 AM
Replies (31-40):
supercarp
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:46 AM

The time to put your foot down was when she was ruining the baby's brain with cigarettes, not now.

EarlGrayHot
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:52 AM

I agree with you but perhaps you should have told her how you feel and why you were worried about her baby's health long ago when she got pregnant.  Certainly her doctor should have warned her.  Her baby is still very much at risk with her continuing to smoke around him.  Tell her you've decided you want to keep the clothes after all.  They are, after all, your property even if you've changed your mind.  Some people just have no sense when it comes to things like this and it seems as if your "friend" is one of them.

emmiesmommie422
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 10:57 AM
3 moms liked this

If she smoked during pregnancy and was going to smoke while nursing, it's all the better for her to not breastfeed. Look at it that way. I have broken 2 friendships over women who can't seem to quit smoking while pregnant. I was smoking 1 and half packs a day when I got pregnant with my daughter, the second I found out that I was pregnant was the second that I quit smoking. It has been 3 years and I have not smoked a single cigarette since. If I could do it, anybody can. Girls who say they just can't, need to just say they can't have babies.

MommaGreenhalge
by Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:12 AM
1 mom liked this
I get it. I do. It's really hard for me to keep my mouth shut about stuff like that, especially the smoking. I have a hard time being around smokers anyway, though. But think about it. If everyone who knows better just unfriend people like her, she and others like her will never have good influences. Try to be helpful and supportive, and encourage her to quit smoking because it's really bad for her and her child, not because it makes you mad.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:20 AM



Quoting supercarp:

The time to put your foot down was when she was ruining the baby's brain with cigarettes, not now.

LOL, not always true.  MIL and FIL smoked forever.  All their kids were super brillant.  Not sickly either.  I am not condoning it because back then they didn't know as much.  Just saying. 


supercarp
by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 12:09 PM

Just because the babies weren't born stupid doesn't mean that damage wasn't done: it's just impossible to measure. You are also increasing your baby's chances of dying of SIDS. 


Quoting Anonymous:

 

 

Quoting supercarp:

The time to put your foot down was when she was ruining the baby's brain with cigarettes, not now.

LOL, not always true.  MIL and FIL smoked forever.  All their kids were super brillant.  Not sickly either.  I am not condoning it because back then they didn't know as much.  Just saying. 

 


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Jan. 25, 2013 at 12:11 PM
It isn't your business. She can feed her child however she sees fit. Maybe she only said she was breast feeding because you're such a sucky friend.
KTU
by Kim on Jan. 25, 2013 at 12:20 PM
2 moms liked this

You should take out the "I try not to judge.." part of your title! Who would want a friend like you anyway?!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 25, 2013 at 12:34 PM
1 mom liked this



Quoting Anonymous:

It isn't your business. She can feed her child however she sees fit. Maybe she only said she was breast feeding because you're such a sucky friend.

Agree.  I wouldn't want the OP as a friend.  TOO meddling.  Are you gonna meddle in your kids business like this?  Disown them if they smoke or don't breastfeed?  Wow, unbelievable.  Feel so sorry for your kids. 

fullxbusymom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2013 at 12:47 PM

Oh for Christs Sake it is a CHOICE to formula feed and she doesn't have to answer to anyone for it.  Also I was smoker and was informed NOT to quit smoking while pregnant because it was too much stress on the baby but just to cut down.    Honestly you have it ass backwards you don't deserve her as friend because you are a flipping witch.

Just because you did things differently does NOT make you a better mother by the way.  You are not a better mother simply because you opted to breastfeed.  There is NOTHING wrong w/formula feeding. As long as baby is getting lots of love, fed and has its needs met she is an amazing mom.  She can smoke too as long as she isn't in the house.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)