Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The Cafe The Cafe

please help - I cant stop.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 35 Replies

I need some real advice please...

I cannot stop yelling at my kids.  I cant stand it anymore.  I have had posts like this in the past and I get everyone has had those days, its normal, etc. 

This is NOT normal.  I yell everyday, multiple times a day for nop reason at all.  Things that I should not even be yelling at them for.  I feel completely guilty afterwards, but cannot stop myself before hand because I am sooo frustrated. 

I dont know what to do. 

Most of the yelling (NOT ALL) comes when I am trying to do something and they are climbing on me or getting in my face.  Other times it could be they are fighting, or constantly getting into stuff and I am literally chasing them around cleaning up after them - which then gives me no time for myself or to spend with them.

IDK - any ideas besides therapy?  I am tired of yelling to the point of losing my voice. 

And I have tried just talking to them first and they dont listen until i yell also.  I can say something like please put your toys away and i get ignored and by the 10th time saying it within 5 minutes I am screaming  put your toys away now at the top of my lungs.  Then they listen to me.  I hate it. 

time outs DO NOT work either so please dont bother replying with that and yes I am consistent with it. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 26, 2013 at 12:48 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Leobaby2007
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 12:53 PM

Oh, that's a tough one. I have one 5 year old whom I love dearly, but sometimes...sigh...he tests my patience and it takes everything I have in me not to blow up. I only have the one- I can't imagine what it's like with more. (((HUGS))) Motherhood is not all rainbows and unicorns like a lot of us were "led" to believe it would be, that's for sure!

Chakita0912
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 12:55 PM
I am still trying to figure it out also. My three year old gives me the same problems. It sounds like to me that you need to go out with some friends. Leave the kids with your SO and you go have a good time relax breath and you should come back feeling refreshed and ready to start again. I have to do this at least once a month. Sometimes with my SO or with my friends.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
kimsamomof3
by Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 12:56 PM
1 mom liked this
Get off your ass and stop yelling. If the kids don't do what you tell them gently but firmly walk over and hold their hand while showing them what to do. Be a grown up!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 26, 2013 at 12:59 PM
1 mom liked this

I was doing this all of the time and thought for the longest time that I must just have the worst kids on the planet. Well, my oldest goes to therapy for ADHD and OCD and I was asking for some tips from his therapist on dealing with my youngest. He started asking me some questions and come to find out my anxiety/depression had reared it's ugly head. I have been getting help for those issues and have only yelled a couple of times. I have a lot more patience for my little monsters now :) 

allycally
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 12:59 PM
That's the problem with yelling once you start that's all they will listen to.Here's what u do:use timeouts,then talk to them afterward...don't just yell ,it will take some time for them to listen to u
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
allycally
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 1:01 PM
Timeouts do work you to be consistent...
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jan. 26, 2013 at 1:06 PM

 I would love to stop yelling - THAT IS THE PROBLEM!!!  I wake up everyday thinking this is going to be a good day.  I wont yell.  Everything is fine.  BLAH BLAH.  It doesn't work.  I have a good frame of mind in the morning, then I blow up.  I would LOVE to stop yelling.  Do you know how to just stop, because I do not?   I have tried everything with putting myself in the right frame of mind, walking away and coming back, etc.  I need a stop before it happens.  I am sick of it.  :(

And I have shown them and even done things with them to show them what I am asking. 


Quoting kimsamomof3:

Get off your ass and stop yelling. If the kids don't do what you tell them gently but firmly walk over and hold their hand while showing them what to do. Be a grown up!


 

MacknKeagsMom
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 1:14 PM
2 moms liked this


Kimsamomof3:  I am new here and am looking for some support but your reply really pissed me off.  When someone is reaching out for help, being mean isn't the answer.  She obviously needs some type of support or help.

Here's my reply..

I think you need to seek out an organization in your area that has parenting support, classes, counseling etc.  Not sure why you said no couseling but you really need it to have the life you want for you and your kids.  They deserve a mommy who can control herself and help them learn that for themselves too.  What you have tried hasn't worked and I would encourage you to get help ASAP for you and them.  None of you deserve this.  This is coming from somewhere and you need to find out where before you can stop it.  Please for you and them, reach out for help!

Quoting Anonymous:

 I would love to stop yelling - THAT IS THE PROBLEM!!!  I wake up everyday thinking this is going to be a good day.  I wont yell.  Everything is fine.  BLAH BLAH.  It doesn't work.  I have a good frame of mind in the morning, then I blow up.  I would LOVE to stop yelling.  Do you know how to just stop, because I do not?   I have tried everything with putting myself in the right frame of mind, walking away and coming back, etc.  I need a stop before it happens.  I am sick of it.  :(

And I have shown them and even done things with them to show them what I am asking. 


Quoting kimsamomof3:

Get off your ass and stop yelling. If the kids don't do what you tell them gently but firmly walk over and hold their hand while showing them what to do. Be a grown up!





Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Jan. 26, 2013 at 1:14 PM
I could've wrote this.
fencergal
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 1:33 PM
Try totally ignoring them. Tell them if they act up, you will not entertain them. They are using you for their entertainment. It will get worse b5 it gets better. If the house is a wreck, so be it. Sounds like nobody comes over anyway. Let them be accountable to your husband when he comes home. When he has to clean it up, that will make a difference. It worked for me. I didn't ask what or when they wanted lunch. I made lunch, put it on the table, told them it was lunchtime and walked off. It took about a week, but it worked. Don't worry, cleansers and rug shooting works great....after it's all over. Let me know


Quoting Anonymous:

I need some real advice please...


I cannot stop yelling at my kids.  I cant stand it anymore.  I have had posts like this in the past and I get everyone has had those days, its normal, etc. 


This is NOT normal.  I yell everyday, multiple times a day for nop reason at all.  Things that I should not even be yelling at them for.  I feel completely guilty afterwards, but cannot stop myself before hand because I am sooo frustrated. 


I dont know what to do. 


Most of the yelling (NOT ALL) comes when I am trying to do something and they are climbing on me or getting in my face.  Other times it could be they are fighting, or constantly getting into stuff and I am literally chasing them around cleaning up after them - which then gives me no time for myself or to spend with them.


IDK - any ideas besides therapy?  I am tired of yelling to the point of losing my voice. 


And I have tried just talking to them first and they dont listen until i yell also.  I can say something like please put your toys away and i get ignored and by the 10th time saying it within 5 minutes I am screaming  put your toys away now at the top of my lungs.  Then they listen to me.  I hate it. 


time outs DO NOT work either so please dont bother replying with that and yes I am consistent with it. 

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)