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Is this fair?

Posted by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:39 PM
  • 13 Replies

 

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My boyfriend gets so upset if I ask a friend to hang out when he's at work. I know he's asked me to ask or tell him before he leaves but I don't always think about it before he goes to work. Most of the time when I ask my friends to hang out I don't go hang out with them. For example: two nights ago I asked two friends to hang out. One was busy with family and the other one had plans later on in the day. I told the one that had plans later in the day that I would go over there after I went down to my old school and showed off my son. I ended up just coming home after going down to the school and didn't tell my friend that I had decided to go home and he didn't ask where I was. Well when my boyfriend got home and asked me what I did I told him that I went to the school and then came home. I didn't feel the need to tell him I asked a couple friends to hang out if I didn't actually go over there. My boyfriend has his best friend come over... yeah he asks me if it's okay but htere are those times that he says I'm gonna get ____ over here to help me with my car or whatever. I'm okay with it most of the time but I ask him if his friend can not be here very late. He agrees but his friend doesn't leave until 8 or 9 at night. I just feel like all the interaction I get is with my son, my boyfriend, and his best friend.

by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Reina13
by Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:28 PM

I dont understand why you have to ask him to do anything. Do you mean you have to ask him to go somewhere, or ask him to have friends over your house?


bamababe1975
by Silver Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:29 PM

 That's ridiculous. While it's nice to tell him you're going to have someone over ahead of time if you know that in time to tell him, I don't think it should be a requirement, nor should you have to ask his permission to have someone there. He's your boyfriend, not your father. Just my two cents.



2kids19yrsapart
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:47 PM

You are an adult...why do you have to ask to go somewhere while he is at work?




sabrtooth1
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 12:55 PM
Is his issue that you are hanging out, while he is working? If so, I'm with him. If you have that much spare time after cleaning house, doing laundry, and making dinner, then perhaps you should get a job.
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NoahsMommy10412
by Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 6:28 PM

Both. Whether I go somewhere or have someone over he wants me to ask him. I'm almost 20 years old. I think I can make my own decisions. I do tell him when he gets home where I went for the day. I just don't understand if I don't go somewhere (even after asking people if I can) why it is such a big deal if I don't tell him.

Quoting Reina13:

I dont understand why you have to ask him to do anything. Do you mean you have to ask him to go somewhere, or ask him to have friends over your house?



NoahsMommy10412
by Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 6:30 PM

It's not that his issue is that I'm hanging out while he's at work it's that I don't tell him if I ask someone to hang out even if I don't go over there and don't tell him I asked them. I would get a job but I'm not ready to leave my son yet and besides I'm in college. I also don't want to spend my days just hanging out with my boyfriend, his best friend (sometimes) and our son. I want more interaction. I do clean the house and do everything else.

Quoting sabrtooth1:

Is his issue that you are hanging out, while he is working? If so, I'm with him. If you have that much spare time after cleaning house, doing laundry, and making dinner, then perhaps you should get a job.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 29, 2013 at 6:32 PM
He sounds controlling as hell. No guy including my dh of 28 years would ever want to know what I am doing and who I am with. I say dump him.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jan. 29, 2013 at 6:34 PM
Wow, did I just read this correctly??? You are back in the 50's.


Quoting sabrtooth1:

Is his issue that you are hanging out, while he is working? If so, I'm with him. If you have that much spare time after cleaning house, doing laundry, and making dinner, then perhaps you should get a job.

terpmama
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 6:49 PM

I generally let my hubby know if someone is coming over because its his home too (maybe there's something he wants to put up or clean before company comes, or something gets moved out of place and it bothers him (internally and he knows its silly but it's his OCD tendencies). I do it out of respect and he returns the favor. If something comes up last minute neither of us cares. 

dayskitty
by Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:17 PM
My ex husband was very controlling like that.That's why he is my ex.He would get mad if my parents stopped by to see me and the baby while he was at work and didn't ask him first..I hope it doesn't get worse,like my situation did.If so I hope you can leave..
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