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I want to scream!!!!!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 24 Replies

I have been in a relationship with my Bf for 6 years every minute of it has been hell. We have a 2 year old and one on the way. He drives me crazy I just want to punch him in the face all the time. I have no job so there's no income on my part. That makes it really hard to leave. He treats me like shit but treats our daughter like an angel, and some times it makes me wonder why he is so terrible to me yet good to the baby. I am happy he treats her good but it annoys me how rude he is to me. I'm starting to wonder if it would be worth it to leave, but if I did I would have to go to a homeless shelter witch scares the shit out of me, and then I wonder how the hell I'm going to support myself and baby. I have no money no one to rely on. I don't know what the hell to do. All I know is I'm going crazy and I'm likely to do something stupid if this situation dose not change.                                       

                                              screaming

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
momto3B
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:38 PM

I would call a domestic violence hotline. You need some good advice on how to handle your situation. 

Best of luck. 


GOBryan
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 2:09 PM

I don't understand how you could be in a 6 year relationship that's been hell all that time and are pregnant again, but anyway, my advice is to contact counseling or a domestic violance assistance in your area and get out asap. There are many other women in your situation and if you can get support from some of them, you can work out an assistance program where you each take turns watching eachothers kids while one works and vice versa. Since you're pregnant, you won't be able to work until after the baby so it'll give you time to get to know them and develop trust. 

As far as why he's good to the baby, well.. it's his, right? That alone is reason enough. 

Good luck. Hope you find the help soon. 

marchantmom06
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 2:19 PM
Umm go get a job

And leave. He will have to pay child support.

Why can't you go to families house or friends?

You need a good education and a good support system.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
marchantmom06
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 2:20 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank you!!! She said 4 years into a hell she gave him a child, nothing changed so she did it again..... wtf??


Quoting GOBryan:

I don't understand how you could be in a 6 year relationship that's been hell all that time and are pregnant again, but anyway, my advice is to contact counseling or a domestic violance assistance in your area and get out asap. There are many other women in your situation and if you can get support from some of them, you can work out an assistance program where you each take turns watching eachothers kids while one works and vice versa. Since you're pregnant, you won't be able to work until after the baby so it'll give you time to get to know them and develop trust. 

As far as why he's good to the baby, well.. it's his, right? That alone is reason enough. 

Good luck. Hope you find the help soon. 


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grannie_kel
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 2:56 PM

I guess I agree with others here...why on earth did you have kids with him after 4 years of hell with him.  It's really hard to have any sympathy.  Leave him and get a job.  Do you think it is okay to let your daughter see him treating you bad?  I feel for your kids, you have put them in a situation that they don't deserve but will have to live with regardless because of your mistakes. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:25 PM

I have left in the past and he always comes back around reassuring me he will change, and because he dosed have some good quiletys about him there's a lil part of me who actually believes him. But at this point I know hes not changing so I have to change the situation. I got pregnant the first time because I was on the pill and wanted to change to the depo. So there was a transition time, and that's when it happened. For those of you saying go get a job, Im not retarded I know that I have ben applying all of the place with no luck. Im guessing it has something to do with my big belly. IDK I had a job with his mom at her cleaning company. Her and my bf got in to a huge fight and I lost my job over there problem. Sadly after lots of running around I found out there was nothing I could do about it. The second pregnancy was result of our relationship getting better, but all of a sudden he was an ass again. I wasn't looking for sympathy, I can look at this and see where Im wrong. I just needed to vent and maybe get some advice or some one that relats and has made it thru. 

GOBryan
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:33 PM

I certainly don't get it but I've never really been in that situation and the way I am, I would make plans to leave somewhere (Womens' Ctr, etc) and take my chances but I'm a risk taker. I understand many are not and rather face the miserably known situation rather than the unknown, even if it stands a chance of being better for them. I just don't understand people that stay in bad situations. I would have found a job, saved money, moved on.. But that's me.. not everyone thinks like I do. I cerainly would not have had another child with him. That's just tying myself to him longer even if apart. 

Quoting marchantmom06:

Thank you!!! She said 4 years into a hell she gave him a child, nothing changed so she did it again..... wtf??


Quoting GOBryan:

I don't understand how you could be in a 6 year relationship that's been hell all that time and are pregnant again, but anyway, my advice is to contact counseling or a domestic violance assistance in your area and get out asap. There are many other women in your situation and if you can get support from some of them, you can work out an assistance program where you each take turns watching eachothers kids while one works and vice versa. Since you're pregnant, you won't be able to work until after the baby so it'll give you time to get to know them and develop trust. 

As far as why he's good to the baby, well.. it's his, right? That alone is reason enough. 

Good luck. Hope you find the help soon. 



marchantmom06
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:29 PM
How old are you?

Having a baby because your relationship "was gettin better" might be the craziest thing ever. Your unmarried. No job, cant do for yourself but having another human who cost LOTS of money seemed like a good idea? Just leave. Go file for child support tomorrow and custody. Call your momma, daddy, grandma, aunt, uncle, cousin whoever. Find an adult who will help you and leave and start over. For your poor child.


Quoting Anonymous:

I have left in the past and he always comes back around reassuring me he will change, and because he dosed have some good quiletys about him there's a lil part of me who actually believes him. But at this point I know hes not changing so I have to change the situation. I got pregnant the first time because I was on the pill and wanted to change to the depo. So there was a transition time, and that's when it happened. For those of you saying go get a job, Im not retarded I know that I have ben applying all of the place with no luck. Im guessing it has something to do with my big belly. IDK I had a job with his mom at her cleaning company. Her and my bf got in to a huge fight and I lost my job over there problem. Sadly after lots of running around I found out there was nothing I could do about it. The second pregnancy was result of our relationship getting better, but all of a sudden he was an ass again. I wasn't looking for sympathy, I can look at this and see where Im wrong. I just needed to vent and maybe get some advice or some one that relats and has made it thru. 


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GertieK
by Silver Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:29 PM

It is really hard to dredge up any sympathy for you.  For the kids?  I have lots of sympathy, but some serious bad decisions on your part is why you are where you are.  Getting pregnant a 2nd time, even if things were OK was irresponsible.  Not being married doesn't help either.  The committment that comes with marraige is more than just a piece of paper.  it is a willingness to make the commitment legal and on paper.  If the promise is broken later, the consequences are easier to impose, and are much more serious.  Women with little education, who have children young and without benefit of marriage are much more likely to end up in the same situation.  Allowing what feels good at the moment to dictate what happens with your future is never a good idea.  Being unwilling to forego instant gratification in favor of a brighter future 5 or even 10 years down the road doesn't even seem to be part of the thought process any more.  Men can walk away from women (even those who have their children) because they know eventually the state will pay for their lack of responsibility.  Get yourself out of the situation.  Call as many people as you possibly can, find the best solution for you RIGHT NOW, get off of your duff and quit whining, and do what you need to do FOR YOUR KIDS.  Being hard for you doesn't even figure into the equation any more.  You have a long hard row to hoe ahead of you, and the sooner you get started on it, the better for your kids.  You need an education of some kind, and a way to take care of yourself and your children.  This is part of being a parent, and it should be something considered before having kids... ask yourself the question:  can I take care of them if I am on my own?  If the answer is NO, then the obvious thing to do is to NOT GET PREGNANT.  This man will not change.  Do not delude yourself.  TIme to take action.

lovegrandbaby
by Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:59 PM

I am not here to judge you.  I hope that you get the help you need, even if that means going to a women's shelter.  You do not want your daughter growing up believing it is okay for a man to treat her that way and the stress is not good for you.  At least at the women's shelter, they will work with you, get you any assistance,both medical and financial, you will need.  They will also help your dd understand why you had to leave.  I think if you start feeling better about yourself, you will see what goodness there is out there.  You don't need a man to be in your life.  You just need to get yourself feeling better about yourself and take care of your children.  I wish you all the best.

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