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Daughter doesn't want us to take grandkids to church

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 57 Replies

Which is fine.  Our daughter is an atheist and we respect her views.  Her kids ask us about church and stuff and we explain our beliefs but also let them know that those are our beliefs.  We don't force anything on them only answer questions when asked.  Our daughter called at the last minute Saturday evening to ask if the kids could stay the night.  Her MIL was supposed to keep the kids so she and her husband could have a romantic night away but MIL had come down with this awful stomach bug that's going around.  We said of course we'd be happy to have them but we have obligations at church Sunday morning and would have to take the kids with us unless they wanted to come get them before we went.  She said that they wouldn't be getting back until the afternoon and that we need to stay home with them because she doesn't want them going to church.  My irritation is not that she doesn't want them to go to church but that she issues this edict to her Dad and I that we much change our plans to fit hers even though we clearly explained we already had obligations.  I  told her we couldn't change our plans and she got very mad.  Had we had obligations to any other group besides church our daughter would have understood.  But, when it comes to religion she is very beligerant and mean. 

A little explantation here.... I call her my daughter but I am actually her step-mom though we have a wonderful relationship and I truly do consider her to be mine.  Her mother is a not-so-nice, controlling, hypocritical "christian" who lies and bashes everyone in church for doing exactly what she did Saturday night.  They have never had a good relationship and this colors her perspective on religion greatly.  And, honestly, I can see why. 

Now she's mad and convinced we wouldn't change our plans because we don't respect her being an Antheist.  How do I make her see it has nothing to do with religion (or lack-of) but her lack of respect for our time and plans?

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 4, 2013 at 2:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
frankiesma530
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 2:32 PM
5 moms liked this

 She needs to find another sitter then or not go.

3gr8tKids
by Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 2:35 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm with you on this one. She's wrong & irrational.
websorceress
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:38 PM
3 moms liked this

I'm a grandmother of 4........my dd changed her religion a few times since she married. We were born and raised Catholic, she is now a Buddhist.......that's fine with me, whatever, it's her decision........

Your step daughter is way out of line. If she wants you to accept her choices, she MUST accept yours, the door swings both ways........she has no right to expect you to change your plans, no matter what those plans were.......she should have said, ok thanks, and found someone else.......or cancel HER plans, she's the mother and she is the one who needs to scarifice for HER kids......some older kids take way too much advantage of their parents and expect way too much from them......and some parents let them........

Rhonda142
by Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:58 PM
1 mom liked this

Religion or not she is not being respectful and if she doesn't like it then she needs to make other plans.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:18 PM
1 mom liked this
If you watch the kids and it is Sunday, you take them to Church. Too damn bad, or she can not have you watch the kids. This kinda crap is what pisses me off about some athiest.
kailu1835
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:20 PM
2 moms liked this
She needs to respect your schedule. If she doesn't want her kids at church, then she shouldn't leave them with you on Sundays. It is not reasonable to insist that you completely rearrange your schedules to accommodate her.
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Kokoscold
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:39 PM

I'm not a religion person and I find this rude on your daughters part if she doesn't want her kids going to church either A. Pick them up before you go because like you said you have obligations or B. Find someone else to watch the kids.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:54 PM

If they are at your home it should be your choice, your time, your choice. She needs to get over it or find another sitter. JMHO

Ednarooni160
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 6:10 PM

The "you need to change your plan" but if reversed (with mine)  it's a .."you can't expect us to change our plans for you"..   Yep..been there with my kids..seems to be a double standard at times. Have NO clue what to tell you.. I would go to church and the kids would go with me..or they can find another sitter.

SWasson
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 7:15 PM
1 mom liked this

You can tell her that an atheist said:

     Damn, hasn't she heard that beggars can't be choosers?  She can skip her romantic evening

     if it's that much of an issue.

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