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I kinda lost it a little today....emotionally drained

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:57 AM
  • 9 Replies
My husband, he's a good man. We've had lots of struggles over the last 6 months but we've made it through. He's a good provider, a hard worker and I know he loves us. The one thing is though, he SUCKS at emotions. I am his cheerleader and main supporter through everything he does, his EMT class, being a part time firefighter, taking certification tests, working on our house, cars and everything else, but, I get nothing (emotionally) in return. I do everything. I'm a SAHM so y'all know what that entails, the house, kids, errands, bills....etc. I'm good with that, I love it but it would be nice to be told that I'm doing a great job or that he's proud of me for what I do. I just think men don't think about that kind of stuff. That's more important to me than most other things. I don't need fancy things
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by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:57 AM
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Replies (1-9):
momcat437
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 11:12 AM
2 moms liked this

 I understand you completely!!  My husband is the same way--he's outgoing and funny with other people but with me, he's all seriousness.  Most of the time when I talk to him, I get no response--I have to ask him, "did you hear me?" and he'll say, "yeah", and that's it!  It's like talking to a brick wall.  I only hear about the things I didn't do, rather than a "thank you" or whatever about the things that got done.  Some men are just like that and it's taken me years to realize that it's probably not gonna change.  I never ask for anything, either, but it would be nice to hear some kind of affirmation once in a while...hang in there!

nodramamama311
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 11:19 AM
I talked to him about it and he apologized for not being more emotionally supportive of me and said he would make an effort to do better. We shall see.


Quoting momcat437:

 I understand you completely!!  My husband is the same way--he's outgoing and funny with other people but with me, he's all seriousness.  Most of the time when I talk to him, I get no response--I have to ask him, "did you hear me?" and he'll say, "yeah", and that's it!  It's like talking to a brick wall.  I only hear about the things I didn't do, rather than a "thank you" or whatever about the things that got done.  Some men are just like that and it's taken me years to realize that it's probably not gonna change.  I never ask for anything, either, but it would be nice to hear some kind of affirmation once in a while...hang in there!


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907PickleMom
by Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 2:15 PM
DH is the same way.. We are working on it too..
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EarlGrayHot
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 2:26 PM
1 mom liked this

Just tell him it hurts to see him behave so differently with others and often ignore you.  He really needs to be empathic if he's going to be an EMT.

lovegrandbaby
by Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 8:58 PM

I hear ya - same hear with dh.  I also get "why do I have to do everything around here?".  Excuse me - you have not noticed in the last 28 yrs that it's give and take?  Just cuz I ask u to do one thing that you don't want to do  you immediately are the only one who does anything.  Grrrr men!

kaitybird
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:59 PM
1 mom liked this

I hope that you can get him to talk about his feelings.  It is going to be very important with his line of work!  It is emotionally draining at times and I so understand how you are feeling.  My husband is a sheriff's deputy.  Communication is something that you are going to need to have.  Try writing him a letter to see if that may make more of an impact on him.  Sometimes talking isn't enough or just doesn't sink in.  

The eye opener in our relationship was a seminar he had to attend for his work.  It is called the Pain behind the badge and it can help in so many relationships not just law enforcement!  It came when we forgot how to communicate!  I am so thankful for it.  

I hope that you 2 can start communicating that makes for one of the best relationships and makes the love stronger, at least in my opinion.  Good luck to you both!

imamomzilla
by Silver Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 3:37 PM
1 mom liked this

 Men are just wired differently. We're driven by emotion and they're not.

If your kids are happy and healthy, let that be the affirmation that you're doing a good job. :-)

Hang in there.

 

Sisteract
by Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 4:48 PM
1 mom liked this

Some people are more emotionally driven than others. In our family of 4, the most emotionally charged person is my son. My husband, daughter and I are all very practicality driven and fairly non-emotional. 

If you were working outside the home, chances are you would not be showered with praise for doing your job either (although the paycheck is a nice reward).

JR007
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 12:54 AM

im in the same boat... then i start talking to my male buddies, and oh boy he changes his tune, and opens up...lol...guys just need a little competition once in a while

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