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confused

Posted by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:03 AM
  • 33 Replies
Why the hell would a guy talk about marriage and children, plan to take me to meet his entire family (plane ticket is already bought, so still going), be in constant contact then all of a sudden ask if I'd hate him of we didn't work. I asked if he was having second thoughts. He said he isn't having second thoughts, but that to me is a second thought. He said he isn't sure of he's ready to get married now.

Like he asked me about what ring I want, in December. and said "let's make a baby" the day before he said he isn't sure if he's ready. He started all this. I didn't bring up marriage, he did.


He is divorced, and super super stressed at work, and just found out medical issues.


Conversation isn't as frequent, but still talking. what do I do?

He told me it was just a passing thought but his behavior changed.

My friend says cancel the trip and end it, another said give him space.

What do I do









After this conversation, our communication went back to almost normal.
He's not doing his normal activities that have nothing to do with me. He mentioned that last night. Told me it was 4 days since he did, which was about when this stared.
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by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MamaLub
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:07 AM
Hes giving you an out. Hes freaked youll want to leave him first. Sit down and talk with him
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kitty8199
by Nicole on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:10 AM
He said he doesn't wasn't out. I asked of he was changing his mind, he said no.

He talked about my mom (we don't get along), I said don't let her run you off, I'm not her. He said he's not running anywhere.

That's why I'm confused "I'm not ready, but I'm not leaving" same sentence


Quoting MamaLub:

Hes giving you an out. Hes freaked youll want to leave him first. Sit down and talk with him
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MamaLub
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:13 AM
Then take things slower. Tell him youll wait until hes ready to be married. Because you really shouldnt marry anyone that isnt 100% sure about you anyway


Quoting kitty8199:

He said he doesn't wasn't out. I asked of he was changing his mind, he said no.



He talked about my mom (we don't get along), I said don't let her run you off, I'm not her. He said he's not running anywhere.



That's why I'm confused "I'm not ready, but I'm not leaving" same sentence




Quoting MamaLub:

Hes giving you an out. Hes freaked youll want to leave him first. Sit down and talk with him

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
kitty8199
by Nicole on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:16 AM
We didn't have set date. I don't even have a ring. I followed his lead. He moved to fast for himself?

My friend said he's getting ready to end it, but he said he wasn't.

I don't know if he really is having second thoughts and doesn't want to hurt me ending it, or he really just got freaked out


Quoting MamaLub:

Then take things slower. Tell him youll wait until hes ready to be married. Because you really shouldnt marry anyone that isnt 100% sure about you anyway




Quoting kitty8199:

He said he doesn't wasn't out. I asked of he was changing his mind, he said no.





He talked about my mom (we don't get along), I said don't let her run you off, I'm not her. He said he's not running anywhere.





That's why I'm confused "I'm not ready, but I'm not leaving" same sentence






Quoting MamaLub:

Hes giving you an out. Hes freaked youll want to leave him first. Sit down and talk with him

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imamomzilla
by Silver Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:31 PM
1 mom liked this

 IDK. I'd give him space....might just be the stress.

Get a ring and a date before considering children.

Best of luck.

EmilysMom2010
by Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:32 PM
He doesn't know what he wants.
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kitty8199
by Nicole on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:18 PM
Oh I'm not getting pregnant until I'm married.

Is just last week he was sounding so in love with what he said, then he's not ready the next week?


Quoting imamomzilla:

 IDK. I'd give him space....might just be the stress.


Get a ring and a date before considering children.


Best of luck.

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imamomzilla
by Silver Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 3:42 PM

 Oh OK. Good! *whew

Maybe the stress has him acting wonky...?
I'd put him on probation until after Valentine's Day. ;-)

Quoting kitty8199:

Oh I'm not getting pregnant until I'm married.

Is just last week he was sounding so in love with what he said, then he's not ready the next week?


Quoting imamomzilla:

 IDK. I'd give him space....might just be the stress.


Get a ring and a date before considering children.


Best of luck.

 

notjstasocermom
by Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 4:02 PM

How long have you been together?

MamaLub
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 4:54 PM
1 mom liked this
I think he loves you. Hes just nervous. His guy friends or family might have been in his ear. Just let him know you are ok taking it slow


Quoting kitty8199:

We didn't have set date. I don't even have a ring. I followed his lead. He moved to fast for himself?



My friend said he's getting ready to end it, but he said he wasn't.



I don't know if he really is having second thoughts and doesn't want to hurt me ending it, or he really just got freaked out




Quoting MamaLub:

Then take things slower. Tell him youll wait until hes ready to be married. Because you really shouldnt marry anyone that isnt 100% sure about you anyway






Quoting kitty8199:

He said he doesn't wasn't out. I asked of he was changing his mind, he said no.







He talked about my mom (we don't get along), I said don't let her run you off, I'm not her. He said he's not running anywhere.







That's why I'm confused "I'm not ready, but I'm not leaving" same sentence








Quoting MamaLub:

Hes giving you an out. Hes freaked youll want to leave him first. Sit down and talk with him


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