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The Cafe The Cafe

Oh MOTHER!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 5 Replies

Yes, this post is totally about my mother. The reason being is because I feel her lack of socializing and thinking of others besides herself sometimes is really ruining this TINY family. I do not depend on her at all, but since her parents are still around she depends on them. I feel bad because they may ask her for one simple thing, such as driving them somewhere a few times, and it becomes an issue with her. She will say no. She hasn't even seen her granddaughter (my daughter) for over a month now. She is 40 mins away driving. It is easy to get here. We are currently unable to head over to her, but even my DH says he shouldn't have to ALWAYS go there when she can easily drive and bring her parents. Her parents cannot drive here on their own because my grandpa is a little sick. He doesn't want to take the chance and we completely (DH and me) understand. My grandma is pretty hurt because we are pretty close (she was always there for me growing up). I can easily wait a few more weeks when we are capable of taking the ride there, but why wait when she can easily come before than? Her excuses are always "I am tired", "I have things to do", "I do not go out on Sundays." Seriously though, I am getting really frustrated. She is always asking about her granddaughter and always wants pictures, but why not come and see her in person if you miss and love her so much?

Sorry, I had to vent. Hopefully no one thinks I am overreacting. I really do not believe I am.

PS: It is bad enough DHs family makes absolutely NO effort to see our daughter. Maybe his father, but no one else and his family is quite large in comparison to mine.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 25, 2013 at 4:16 PM
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Replies (1-5):
Marimaru
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 5:44 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't think you are wrong for being upset about it.  But you'll need to adjust your thinking so you aren't angry about it all the time.  This is just the way your mom is going to be, and the only thing you can change about it is how you react to it.

My dad hasn't met either of my daughters and my oldest is 3.  He won't make any effort, and hasn't invited us to see him, either.  I quit getting mad about it a long time ago, even though I know he travels to my sister's house to see her kids.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 25, 2013 at 6:16 PM

This is exactly how DHs fam is (well his mother). She goes to see her daughters, but not her only son. This is ridiculous. You are right though, I must change how I react to this situation. 


Quoting Marimaru:

I don't think you are wrong for being upset about it.  But you'll need to adjust your thinking so you aren't angry about it all the time.  This is just the way your mom is going to be, and the only thing you can change about it is how you react to it.

My dad hasn't met either of my daughters and my oldest is 3.  He won't make any effort, and hasn't invited us to see him, either.  I quit getting mad about it a long time ago, even though I know he travels to my sister's house to see her kids.


 

bamababe1975
by Silver Member on Feb. 26, 2013 at 12:46 PM
1 mom liked this

 I completely agree. You cannot change how she's going to behave only how you react to it. Don't let her take up so much space in your head. Don't let her fill you with so much anger and negativity. Accept that it's HER loss and SHE is the one who will look back at the end of her life and see how much she missed out.

Quoting Marimaru:

I don't think you are wrong for being upset about it.  But you'll need to adjust your thinking so you aren't angry about it all the time.  This is just the way your mom is going to be, and the only thing you can change about it is how you react to it.

My dad hasn't met either of my daughters and my oldest is 3.  He won't make any effort, and hasn't invited us to see him, either.  I quit getting mad about it a long time ago, even though I know he travels to my sister's house to see her kids.

 



Melissa_4
by Member on Feb. 26, 2013 at 12:48 PM

Is it possible that your mom may be starting to show signs of alzheimer's, and driving makes her uncomfortable?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 26, 2013 at 4:35 PM

Whoa, where did that come from? No, my mom does not currently have alzheimer's and I pray she never obtains that disease! She simply does not like to consider other people, only when it will benefit herself, unfortunately.


Quoting Melissa_4:

Is it possible that your mom may be starting to show signs of alzheimer's, and driving makes her uncomfortable?


 

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