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DD says "I'm sorry"

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 14 Replies
It's hard not to tear up for me here but I have a bit of an odd question. To start off let me explain a bit....


When dd was less than a yr old, I would cry and hug her and tell her "I'm sorry" before going to sleep. I said this because her father left before she was born. He wanted a baby but freaked out when it I told him and the thought of him being a father sank in. I didnt need him financially but I felt like shit knowing dd was going to grow up without him and that's why I would say sorry to her. He was so good with kids and hated him a bit because i knew he would have been a great dad. Well, sometimes she would hug me back like she knew what I was feeling. Anyways she's now 2yo (27m) and for the past year she will rub my arm and say "I shawy(I'm sorry) before going to sleep. She doesnt do it every single night but she does this often.


Is it possible that she might remember ?


It breaks my heart every single time she does it.. I just tell her it's ok baby u didnt do anything wrong, and hug her.
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 6, 2013 at 12:44 AM
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Replies (1-10):
PortiaRose
by Bronze Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 2:18 AM
no. shes just used to you saying that. she has no clue about that man.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 6, 2013 at 2:25 AM

I mean I stopped saying it before she turned one, and she started saying it when she was maybe 15 months old.. I didn't say it every day either, sometimes it just got to me and I;d say it to her and I wonder if she actually remembers me saying that to her.. don't most kids have that type of memory later on.. I would say it maybe once a week, half the time she'd be asleep... I feel bad, I feel like it hurt her because it hurt me when I'd say it

Quoting PortiaRose:

no. shes just used to you saying that. she has no clue about that man.


PortiaRose
by Bronze Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 2:28 AM
still dont buy it. was that the only time you said it?
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 6, 2013 at 2:32 AM

don't buy what???

I'd say it usually when she would be sleeping before she turned one because I'd see her fall asleep and she was so cute and she was just an angel and I felt horrible. I got over him leaving before she turned one, that's when I know I stopped saying it, that and I felt like she was a very sensitive baby. She seemed to be very sad when I'd get sad so I avoided letting her see me cry

Quoting PortiaRose:

still dont buy it. was that the only time you said it?


JacquelineSmith
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 2:40 AM
People say kids forget.. but they don't.. especially something traumatic or emotional. She will eventually forget though.. years down the road. At this point she thinks it's what pple are suppose to say before going to sleep.. like goodnight.. because you use to say it :) Just keep telling her she didn't do anything wrong.. and "we say goodnight.. love you" at bedtime. Kiss her and keep up that routine. On the plus side... know that you have a very aware and smart daughter.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 6, 2013 at 3:06 AM
Thanks, this really helps, I cry just thinking about it cause I just don't want her to feel whatv I felt when I'd say it, I dont want her to be hurting as well

Quoting JacquelineSmith:

People say kids forget.. but they don't.. especially something traumatic or emotional. She will eventually forget though.. years down the road. At this point she thinks it's what pple are suppose to say before going to sleep.. like goodnight.. because you use to say it :) Just keep telling her she didn't do anything wrong.. and "we say goodnight.. love you" at bedtime. Kiss her and keep up that routine. On the plus side... know that you have a very aware and smart daughter.
polkaspots
by Bronze Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 7:42 AM
My three year old apologizes when somebody else bumps into her. Those times are probably not the only times you ever said it to her. I apologize to my son all the time. I drop his toys, I change his diaper when he's trying to fall asleep. She might remember it, but its probably just something for her to say. Try saying good night to her when she's falling asleep every night, she might start saying that instead of im sorry.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 6, 2013 at 8:27 AM
Oh yeah, starting the day now and then I do say it amd she'll also say it when it's appropriate, she knows what it means, thats why I find it so odd that she'll also say it at night :/ before bed while she falls asleep I'm constantly telling her "I love you sweetie" that's an every night thing that I tell her since a LONG time now

Quoting polkaspots:

My three year old apologizes when somebody else bumps into her. Those times are probably not the only times you ever said it to her. I apologize to my son all the time. I drop his toys, I change his diaper when he's trying to fall asleep. She might remember it, but its probably just something for her to say. Try saying good night to her when she's falling asleep every night, she might start saying that instead of im sorry.
NewMom11222011
by Member on Mar. 6, 2013 at 12:47 PM

Do you think it's possible that she sees sadness in your face when she says it?  If you say you're sorry when she's said she may be reciprocating.

Mama2Spencerninja

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 6, 2013 at 1:03 PM
I havent really noticed that actually, I'll start paying attention to my mood next time she says it

Quoting NewMom11222011:

Do you think it's possible that she sees sadness in your face when she says it?  If you say you're sorry when she's said she may be reciprocating.

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