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The Cafe The Cafe

Why should I have to hide? ETA

Posted by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 3:23 PM
  • 14 Replies

Why should I have to hide my success? I don't rub it in anybody's face by any means. Yet if someone asks about my income, home, cars, or anything related to my success people call me names and tell me to keep dreming.


I am not ashamed of my success but I hate being told I am lying. I will not apologize for my success either.


Should I just not say anything or should I just ignore the comments?



ETA: Thank you for everyone's posts. I guess I just needed to remember how much I do for not only my family but my employees as well. 


I have always put others thoughts and feelings in to account before making a final decision. I have a wonderful loving husband and business partner all wrapped into one. 7 beautiful children that I can't stand to spend more than a few hours awat from. 


I am grateful for the success of our companies. Not only can my children attend any school they so choose without graduating with debt but I am finacially able to take care of my mom and stepmom. My dad pasted away 3 yrs ago and my stepmother never worked so I stepped up and took over the bills so she didn't have to worry.  

When my stepfather was diagnosed with prostate cancer 4 yrs ago I would help with extra bills if my mom needed it. Now though we know he is terminal and we are down to weeks with him so instead of my mom having to work and take care of him. I took over all of her bills. I paid off her house.


I had to cut my sister off because she started getting that "well you should do it because you can afford it" frame of mind. I sorta figured after basically giving her 100,000 to go to school and buy her house that IU had the right to say no.


I think losing that communication with my sister is why I am allowing others opinions of me affect me.


So thank you for reminding me that I should always take pride in my success.

by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 3:23 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Lovemybabieslnb
by New Member on Mar. 17, 2013 at 3:25 PM

Ignore the comments. You're successful and people are jealous. People always have something negative to say! 

Cindy18
by Bronze Member on Mar. 17, 2013 at 3:29 PM

Who is asking you these questions? Why do they think you are lying?

Crazylife1994
by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 3:30 PM

I guess it just annoys me. I don't hide my identity when I post but still I am just dreaming. i just don't understand why there is so much hate.


Quoting Lovemybabieslnb:

Ignore the comments. You're successful and people are jealous. People always have something negative to say! 



Crazylife1994
by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 3:36 PM

It is randomly in different posts in different groups. Most recently someone asked for bathroom ideas and I posted my master bathroom. Yes you can find the picture on google but that was done before I bought my house. So immediently I must be lying.




Quoting Cindy18:

Who is asking you these questions? Why do they think you are lying?



Cindy18
by Bronze Member on Mar. 17, 2013 at 3:38 PM
1 mom liked this

If it's on-line, then screw them. Sometimes if it seems too good to be true then people will think it's a lie. Same goes for if it seems too awful it's a lie.

Don't worry about what others think.

Quoting Crazylife1994:

It is randomly in different posts in different groups. Most recently someone asked for bathroom ideas and I posted my master bathroom. Yes you can find the picture on google but that was done before I bought my house. So immediently I must be lying.




Quoting Cindy18:

Who is asking you these questions? Why do they think you are lying?




 




Cindy

NewMom11222011
by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 4:32 PM
2 moms liked this

Don't let anyone tear your own confidence down on this website!  You don't know them and they don't know you and lots of people (notice I don't say women, because I think there are some poseurs on here) on here just like to troll and spew judgment and stir things up.  You know the truth-that's enough!


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 17, 2013 at 4:36 PM
Its sad as hell but to be successful now has suddenly become terrible. The terrible person that makes money is not good now. To be on welfare is awesome. To spend beyond your means is awesome too.
bhow
by Bronze Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 8:42 AM

I hear your pain and feel it.  It makes us crazy.  We too feel ashamed of how well our hard work and dedication has paid off, at times.  I get rolled eyes and smirks and blank ugly looks all the time.  It sucks.  Our kids are ridiculed and called names at school.  We don't tell people about where we go on vacation, which is next to never cause we are working and over seeing our employees and making sure their lives stay on track. People ask how we are and we hesitate cause we are afraid of the reaction we will get.  We do not talk of any success stories or brag or make fun of others but we get it all the time and that's "ok".  We stopped going to church because we were pretty much told we should pay for a new church roof cause we can afford it.  Really?  We were also told we should pay for the pastors car repair bill that was about $2000, a few years ago.  We just don't know what to do at times so we just stick to ourselves.  I have no girl friends that I can go do anything with cause they all got so jealous and mean I had to cut strings.  It hurts really bad sometimes but mostly I am just used to it now and have accepted it.  My husband and I do a lot just him and I.  We also spend a lot of time with our kids cause they don't have a whole lot of friends either.  They can't wait to go to college so people won't know who they are.  We say nothing, we just go on about our way and stick to ourselves.  I even get dirty treatment for what I buy at the grocery store from some of the check out people.

GertieK
by Silver Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 9:47 AM

Don't you DARE be ashamed of your success.  We have an administration who has made a point of denegrating success, making it something to hide or be ashamed of.  It isn't "fair" to those who are less successful, and is one of the favorite tools to cause division.  I mean, after all, according to him "you didn't build that".  The new name for anyone who is not wealthy is "disadvantaged".  Hold your head up, and be proud of your success.  As long as you are honest, kind, and honorable - you have nothing to be ashamed of.  Always remember, "to whom much is given, much is expected".  I don't know who your friends were, but a real friend would be thrilled for your success...not jealous.  Being expected to pay bills because you can "afford it" is yet another reflection of the attitude of entitlement being perpetuated today.  I am poor as a church mouse, but have friends who are highly successful and friends who are on my level.  We hang out, and enjoy each other's company because it isn't what we have that is important - it is who we are.  I am sorry you are dealing with this - but not surprised.  Spreading the wealth has become something expected.  Sharing what you have is important, and should be a part of your life, but no one should expect it from you.  Find and read the book, Toxic Charity, and you will understand more about what is going on.

cherylam
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:45 PM

ignore the idiots... I went through the same thing when I was working and making big bucks.  In-laws hated me for making money, hated me when the kids were young and we were on welfare, jjust hated me.  DH died almost 7 years ago, 've remarried, and they still hate me. Meh, their opinions mean exactly what?

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