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um i thought the question was....

Posted by   + Show Post

 "anyone on here not on welfare or foodstamps? please SHARE how you got out of your situation and moved on up like george jefferson."

DID OCCUR TO ANY OF YOU THAT SHE IS TRYING TO GET OFF OF "THE GRAVY TRAIN" !

 THOUGH THER ARE ALOT OF PEOPELE WHO SCREW THE SYSTEM NOT EVERYONE WHO NEEDS ASSISTSANCE DOES!

THAT BEING SAID, HERE'S MY QUESTION, WHAT MAKES IT ANY DIFFERENT FROM THOSE IN WHICH RECEIVE ABSURD AMOUNTS OF ALIMONY AND CHILD SUPPORT?! THAT IT'S LEAGAL?!

NO ONE WANTS THEIR MARRIAGE TO COME TO AND END BUT WOULD YOU MAKE YOUR PARENTS PAY YOUR RENT WHEN YOU MOVED OUT OF THEIR HOUSE? MOVE ON FROM EACH OTHER!  IF YOU WANT TO FIGHT FOR THE HOUSE THEN YOU SHOULD PAY THE MORGAGE, UTILITIES, ETC.! NOT YOUR EX-SPOUSE! ALIMONY LAWS SHOULD BE ABOLISHED!

DOES ANY CHILD ON THIS PLANET NEED $300 WORTH OF TOYS AND CLOTHES EVERY MONTH, 12 MONTHS A YEAR?! CHILD SUPPORT SHOULD BE STRICTLY FOR THE CHILD NOT TO PAY FOR YOUR RENT, UTILITIES, DRUG AND ALCOHOL HABITS, ETC. EITHER! IT SHOULD BE PUT IN AN ACCOUNT AND WHAT ISN'T USED SHOULD GO TOWARDS A COLLEGE FUND! AND IT SHOULD BE PROVED THAT IT IS BEING SPENT ON THE CHILD JUST LIKE HOW WELFARE RECIPENTS HAVE TO SHOW HOW MUCH IS SPENT ON GAS, TOLIETRIES AND BILLS!

QUITE FRANKLY WE WOULD HAVE ALOT LESS "ABSCENTEE/DEADBEAT" PARENTS OR DISTRAUGHT TEENAGERS WAUNDERING THIS COUNTRY WONDERING WHY THEIR PARENT DOESN'T LOVE THEM OR COME AROUND IF CHILDSUPPORT WAS SPLIT DOWN THE MIDDLE! BOTH BUY CLOTHES, PROVIDE FOR DAYCARE, ETC.! WHY SHOULD THE PARENT THAT DOESN'T HAVE CUSTODY HAVE TO PAY FOR ALL THE SUPPORT?! WHERE'S THE SHARE THAT COMES FROM THE PARENT WITH CUSTODY?

ALL YOU ARE DOING IS GETTING FINACIAL REVENGE FROM YOUR EX AND IN THE MEAN TIME THE KIDS ARE CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT! DESPITE HOW MUCH YOU HATE YOUR EX AND WERE HURT, YOU ARE HURTING YOUR KIDS TEN TIMES MORE AND YOU KNOW IT!

THIS COUNTRY NEEDS A SERIOUS REAVALUATION OF THESE LAWS TOO!

P.S. MY DAUGHTER IS FROM A FORMER MARRIAGE. MY EX AND I BOTH WAIVED OUR CHILD SUPPORT AND ALIMONY RIGHTS TO HAVE SHARED CUSTODY OF OUR DAUGHTER. WE BOTH PROVIDE FOR HER. THOUGH I MAY HATE WHAT CAME OF OUR MARRIAGE WE PUT OUR CHILD FIRST! MAYBE ALOT MOR PARENTS SHOULD TAKE THE PARENTING VIDEO THEY ARE REQUIRED TO WATCH WHEN GETTING A DIVORCE MORE SERIOUSLY!

 

by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 12:12 PM
Replies (51-59):
GertieK
by Silver Member on Mar. 28, 2013 at 11:44 AM

Before you make statements about population control, you might want to look into what it really means.  And, it is ONE child, not two.  So, you would be ok with our government doing what CHina does to people who DARE to have more than one child?  Did you even think about what you said?  It isn't controlling what people do... it is making people be responsible for what they do.   Plus, China is starving their people.  That is what that kind of control over a population allows.  We are already pretty close to being that controlled by an extremely corrupt government.  If we moved into a situation where people are actually required to responsible for their own selves and their own decisions and their own mistakes, and not be rescued from every single difficulty, I can guarantee they would begin to think before they act.  We are expecting the government to take care of stuff that would not happen if they would get the heck out of people's lives, stick to the constitution, and make people responsible for their own selves.  Unfortunately, we are so far into becoming socialist/communist nation, that is a dream gone by.  Jobs have been very low down on the priority list, but signing people up for PA has been a top priority.  More people dependent on the government guarantees control of the majority.  Now, we add destroying the 2nd ammendment, and people have no way to defend themselves against a very intrusive and controlling government.  THEN, add in the Common Core curriculum that is being pushed into the education system, and we are toast.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 28, 2013 at 12:01 PM
You can have more than one child n China, you just gotta pay more to the govt. Out govt has way too much control and more people want them too and support them.


Quoting GertieK:

Before you make statements about population control, you might want to look into what it really means.  And, it is ONE child, not two.  So, you would be ok with our government doing what CHina does to people who DARE to have more than one child?  Did you even think about what you said?  It isn't controlling what people do... it is making people be responsible for what they do.   Plus, China is starving their people.  That is what that kind of control over a population allows.  We are already pretty close to being that controlled by an extremely corrupt government.  If we moved into a situation where people are actually required to responsible for their own selves and their own decisions and their own mistakes, and not be rescued from every single difficulty, I can guarantee they would begin to think before they act.  We are expecting the government to take care of stuff that would not happen if they would get the heck out of people's lives, stick to the constitution, and make people responsible for their own selves.  Unfortunately, we are so far into becoming socialist/communist nation, that is a dream gone by.  Jobs have been very low down on the priority list, but signing people up for PA has been a top priority.  More people dependent on the government guarantees control of the majority.  Now, we add destroying the 2nd ammendment, and people have no way to defend themselves against a very intrusive and controlling government.  THEN, add in the Common Core curriculum that is being pushed into the education system, and we are toast.


GertieK
by Silver Member on Mar. 28, 2013 at 4:26 PM

They can have more than one NOW, the govt has gotten much more lenient - but for many years it was awful.  Women were forced to abort, even as late as 36 weeks, and the baby was killed during labor or immediately after. In America, we have named those "late-term abortions" trying to make them sound more humane, but they are what they are.  Ending a life is ending a life.  Even today women routinely have ultrasounds to find out the sex, and girls are aborted at an alarming rate.  Female infanticide is another result.  They have a major imbalance in genders, with males outnumbering females.  Make people responsible for their own actions, and stop making it easier to behave irresponsibly.  Make it hurt - in their wallet - and it will be amazing at how different things become.  We are now such a nanny state.  People have gotten to where they even allow the state to tell them what they should/should not eat/drink, etc.  Yowza - so frustrating.

I.spit.glitter
by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 4:33 PM

ITA and so does my STBX.

Quoting fullxbusymom:

So NOT true!!  Child support is to help keep a roof over their head, such as rent, mortgage, help pay for electric, gas for the car, heat for the house, food in the house, clothing, shoes, doctors bills, activities, daycare etc. 

My BIL pays $1,000 a month in child support for ONE child.  That money does not even relatively cover all the months bills for my niece but it helps with those expenses.  Exactly what child support is supposed to be. 


fullxbusymom
by Bronze Member on Mar. 28, 2013 at 4:34 PM

Sorry I don't know what ITA or STBX stands for???

Quoting I.spit.glitter:

ITA and so does my STBX.

Quoting fullxbusymom:

So NOT true!!  Child support is to help keep a roof over their head, such as rent, mortgage, help pay for electric, gas for the car, heat for the house, food in the house, clothing, shoes, doctors bills, activities, daycare etc. 

My BIL pays $1,000 a month in child support for ONE child.  That money does not even relatively cover all the months bills for my niece but it helps with those expenses.  Exactly what child support is supposed to be. 



I.spit.glitter
by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 4:38 PM
1 mom liked this
I totally agree & soon to be Ex

Quoting fullxbusymom:

Sorry I don't know what ITA or STBX stands for???

Quoting I.spit.glitter:

ITA and so does my STBX.

Quoting fullxbusymom:

So NOT true!!  Child support is to help keep a roof over their head, such as rent, mortgage, help pay for electric, gas for the car, heat for the house, food in the house, clothing, shoes, doctors bills, activities, daycare etc. 

My BIL pays $1,000 a month in child support for ONE child.  That money does not even relatively cover all the months bills for my niece but it helps with those expenses.  Exactly what child support is supposed to be. 



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starr377
by on Mar. 28, 2013 at 7:39 PM

  i will keep you all in my prayers!

wether married or divorced, rich or poor, on pa or not, wether you hated my post or it made you think may god keep you in his arms safe and in his blessings always!

NO MAN, WOMAN NOR CHILD SHOULD EVER HAVE TO KNOW THE MEANING OF BEING HOMELESS, HELPLESS, HUNGRY NOR DEPRIVED OF A PARENTS LOVE!

GOD BLESS AND HAPPY EASTER!

romanceparty4u
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 1:23 AM

Child support and alimony should not be abolished, and for many reasons...let me share with you a few of them.

You get married, you're married for 20 years to a man, catering to his needs, giving birth and raising his children, one of whom has a developmental disability where they need full time care, round the clock, medical support and intervention. You have both decided that institutionalizing this child is not for you...thus, one of you "cannot work". Divorce occurs--one of you is "unhappy" with the marriage. The one left with the children, the one that STILL "cannot work" has to still provide round the clock care for these children, in many cases, until they die. Or you die. Doesn't matter.

This cannot be done on child support alone, which is where alimony steps in. That child deserves the exact same manner of living they had prior to the divorce. The parent home with the child, is not able to financially go out, get a job, leave the child, return home, then stay up for 16 hours with the child, even if they did have a job away from the home, and were able to procure a "sitter" for a medically fragile child, it's physically impossible.

There are still scenarios where alimony should and would be awarded to the parent that spends the time at home with children. You also have to take into consideration that a woman 20 years out of the job market isn't going to be able to secure gainful employment for at minimum 2-5 years after re-entry, in that case, alimony would be for that duration, then cease.

Child support will ALWAYS be awarded the custodial parent, in most cases, as it should be--unless the partners can come to a "joint" agreement, where the child spends exactly 50% of the time with both parents, and they both agree to split 50% expenses. In many cases, the partner walks away and doesn't agree to shit..... (this, the reason we have a court system) Both parties were a part in that chld being here, therefore, both parties are responsible for ensuring that their standard of living remains the same after the divorce. If one party disagrees, that party will pay child support as enforced by the courts.


WELFARE AND HUD AND WIC AND FOODSTAMPS AND STATE BENEFITS should not be used, EVER. The parent with custody should be assisted by the parent without, til they are on their feet. Unless both of you are completely destitute, then welfare should step in. Many women would not have to rely on these benefits if the man would step up and do what he is supposed to. anyone court ordered to pay alimony and child support that isn't doing it, should be in jail. Period. If they aren't willing to support their children, prison is a good alternative.

Any more questions?


Quoting starr377:

 first off  will applogize to ms. grannie-lei for calling you names!

yes we waived our rights! once you waive alimny it is for good. we also waived childsupport too. yes if we fight over her in the future childsupport can b sought by either of us. we have shared custody of her in which had to fill out a legal arrangement of custody for her if w fight later on. the judgesiged and we signed an anmendment attached to this in which we can share custody as we ee fit otherwise.

therfore we only live 15 min. from each other. our daugter is not split between us by week and weekends. s long as we give each other 24hrs notice incaseof after school plans, either of us can take her overnight any time for as many days as we choose. as for anything health or medical is split 50%. neither of us have ins. on her. as for clothing and food we both pay for school clothes and the food she consumes in our own homes is paid for by ourselves.  anything just like with those on welfare is a luxury in which for instance we split the dues for her to be in brownies nd will do so for future things if we can't afford to the she can't do it. not everyone wether on welfare or not can afford everything under the sun either, that's life! yes even the judge said we were her 2nd case in25yrs of being a judge in which two parents came together as friends and put their child 1st.

we have been divorced for 3yrs and never had any issues between us since. my daughter lives in two happy homes! she is doing great in school too!

no i am not married to a man with an ex-wife and nither did my 1st husband have one either! is alimony abolished in many states? kudos! it should be in all! as we move forward in this country and times change so should the laws.

if we can send millions of dollars to other countries for the hungry and the poor, we should take care of our own!

instead of alimony or lump sums of child support, childsupport should be 50% each, hud and welfare should be allowed to help with finaces until you can get on your feet. in which like another woman posted inthe original post i quoted, that those who receive it should be able to obtain job training, budget and credit counseling, and be able to save money to obtain a better running car to get to work, buy a place of your own or pay rent and get on your feet.

there should be a 5yr plan in which when you recieve it you can not have anymore children until you are off and can financiallytake care of them and so that the 5yrs by the time your youngest child is in school you can work and support yourself. we would have alot less people on welfare and alot less divorcees as well abusing the systems and their exes!

quite frankly i fear that in 15yrs my own daughter will be fighting to get a job at the rate this country allows people to pop out babies like popcorn wether on welfare or not. we should have population control in this coutry like china does and only allow 2 children. lets face it love does not make the world go round! there would be more jobs available and even less homeless. habitat for humanity should also help build aprartment complexs in conjunction with homeless shelters to house the homeless and put them on a plan  as well to help them get cleaed up and off the streets and get jobs. it blows my mind that in some places a shelter will only provide a meal and lock you out at night or day.

there are so many things in this country that need to change! and we wonder why our country is in the state tat it's in!



GertieK
by Silver Member on Mar. 30, 2013 at 11:34 AM

Compassion says no one should experience hunger or homelessnes or love.  Reality says that in this world it happens.  The Bible says that the poor will be with us always.  WE are to help each other, but we have ceded over our responsibility to the government for the most part... resulting in a massive government assistance machine.  It is called socialism, and it doesn't work.  The only way to get things back into a more balanced environment is to return the responsibility to the people for themselves.  We have diminished the sanctity of marraige, we have diminished the sanctity of life through our attitude toward abortion, we have given our children to the schools/state for raising and the act surprised when they don't reflect the morals and attitude that is required for a responsible population.  Self responsibility is the key.  Once the state steps in and begins the allocating of funds for children that two individuals are responsible for begins a domino effect that seldom works out for the best of the children.  Too many men who have been convinced by women that they really don't need a man to survive... so they are stepping away from their responsibilities.  really very sad.

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