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Too social to be Autism? PIOG

Posted by Anonymous
  • 17 Replies

My 5 year old is starting testing coming this Tuesday. I just need some help to make sure that what I am doing is right?

For years now we have been getting conflicting reports about my oldest child, my now 5 year old. He did attend a preschool with an IEP and some of the people said he seemed Autistic, but others say that he is too "social". He was on the IEP for "communication delays" which he still has.

His thing is that he cannot follow a conversation nor keep one for more than two or three back and forths. I have watched other kids even younger than him keep on a good conversation and flow just fine. He does have pretend play, but a lot of it seems more to himself than with others. He still seems to really play next to a child than with a child. It is hard to explain, but he seems to go into his own world and play there with the toys.

He is too "social" though, because he will talk to anyone. I mean ANYONE. He will stop people while shopping to tell them about what just happened in his life and or ask what they are doing. He can ask a person three or four times what they are doing and sometimes he just asks once, but he always goes on to talk about whatever thought is going on in his head and not what the person is really doing. It's like he knows that asking someone what they are doing is an ice breaker to just get them to look at him so he can go on about something completely different. And, everyone is suddenly his friend if they talk to him. Even animals become his friend if they are around him (he gets upset when birds fly from him, because they are his friend and he just wanted to play with his friend).

Other times, though, you can call his name many times and if you do not physically catch his attention by touching him, then he continues with his own thing (staring in space, touching something random, spinning).

I will give an example of what he is like: This last Thursday we went to a McDonald's to play. It was a treat for my kids helping with spring cleaning. At the McDonald's my son approached a little girl who was 3 years old (I asked the parents later). They played for a while and the little girl had to go back to her table to eat her ice cream. Monkey went with her and with no boundaries of space was trying to talk to the father so close he could have pretty much kissed him. He was telling the father about his milk allergy and how the little girl was his friend. The dad of course was trying to be polite, but I went over and physically had to move my son from them. He did well with that and went on to play some of the video games (which he couldn't grasp the concept of the foot pedells for the driving game, but my three year old tried many times to show him). The other child finished her ice cream and they played for a long while. He mostly followed her around and/or she followed him around. At one point, though, she said, "What are we playing?" and he said "tag". They joined some of the other kids playing tag and he had a grand time. I called out the warning that we were going to leave (I always give him three warnings before changing his settings, and that is just left over from my part time parenting of his older half brother). When we were about to leave we did a pit stop into the bathroom. We came out and went out the side door. Monkey didn't follow us. I called to him several times and he never came out the door. So, I went back inside and he was spinning from four tables, touching each one on the corners and then going to the next in a circular motion. People were watching him, of course, and I called his name. He just kept doing it. I went over and stopped him and said, "Hun, back into this world, k?" He nodded and said we were going out the "wrong door". It wasn't the door we entered the place in. I told him it was okay and we went with no problems to the car. He took some constant guiding to get him into his seat and buckled while I buckled the others into their seats. He talks constantly, so at first I didn't really listen to what he was saying when he got upset. I asked what was wrong and he said that I turned on the radio and not his song. He wanted the radio to play his song. What song? HIS SONG... okay, I needed to figure out which song he wanted. I then put in the CD that I made him of his songs, the ones he has to listen to constantly on youtube or whatever. Nope, not one of those. Great... okay, I finally figured out which song. He has been obsessed by the Thrift Shop song since the first time it came on the radio and I didn't turn on his CD fast enough. That is now his song, I guess. I passed my phone to my sister and told her to just download it onto my phone. He had to not only listen to it, but has to watch the counter for it while it is playing. I know he does this with the radio in the car when a CD is playing, too. Okay. Once played he was fine. He watched out the door and sang to himself "Atama, Kata, Hiza, Ashi" (which is Head Shoulders Knees and Toes in Japanese).

Then yesterday he became upset at me for not stopping where I was suppose to to meet his dad for his visitation. I was dropping them off at their grandma's house and not meeting their dad like usual. Yeah, interesting ride yesterday. He was fine once he saw his dad, though, at the house like he is suppose to be there. His dad said he would start the schedule there and calm him down.

Also, all week they didn't have school... which I had to explain many times this week that it was spring break and he wasn't going to go to school. That he couldn't play with his friends (the children in the building) because they were all gone for spring break.

I am confused. I finally got the okay from his dad to set up the testing for him, but his dad said not to test for Autism. He doesn't want to hear Autism come out and he is sure our son just has ADHD. I'm not so sure, though. He is a wonderful little boy, but I think it's more than hyper activity and some sensory issue. Everyone around me (my friends and family) keep saying he is too social to be Autistic... is he? Really? Take out the talking to everyone on the planet and I think he has Autism. His dad and I worked with him to get him to look people in the eyes when he talks, but it took us almost 5 years to get him to do it. Seriously he just started to finally look people in the eyes and it never holds. He looks away pretty quick.

His dad and my sister think he is just mimicking his older brother, but his older brother was non-verbal and would never even acknowledge another person is in the room unless the person got close to him, in which he would scream and self harm if he didn't know the person.

I am so lost. Please someone help me. Am I looking for something that isn't there?

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 23, 2013 at 5:05 PM
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by Silver Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 6:15 PM

I'm not too experienced with autism and I hope someone who is will answer your post, but I really do think he should be tested as completely as possible.  Don't worry about what his dad wants.  You just need to focus on what is best for your son.  He deserves a complete diagnosis.  Once you know what you are dealing with, there is no more wondering and you can put a plan into action.  I think you are doing everything you can to help him transition and adapt to his surroundings.  You are being a very caring and loving mom.  Good luck!!

by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 7:18 PM

I am a special education teacher in Early Childhood, I teach PreK Developmentally Delayed Students. I previously taught kids with autism and have a cousin with autism(which is how I got into this).

I don't want to give advice on the computer because I don't know your child.  What I can tell you is the early you get a full assessment of present levels and abilities, the better off your child's educational program will be. Reassure your child's father by telling him that the results may not say Autism, but they will give a better understanding of what is appropriate educationally for your little one!


by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 7:55 PM

They will test for everything, they dont only go in looking for one thing, we thought my ss had issues similiar to what your explaining and he has RAD, its been a continued nightmare for us since he was small.  He was not that communicative though, wouldnt voice anything, no concentration, and dosent want to be touched, still dosent just freaks, I personally think ss has something like multiple pers but you take it one day at a time with testing, then when you get a diagnosis, whether you like it or not or dh does, then you find yourself a specialist and start going there, someone who specifically deals with the issue.  Sounds less like autism to me, more like something with concentration, schedule, etc.  I wish you the best, its always a long road.

by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 7:25 PM

 my son  who is autistic is social.    infact he is TOO social,   he does not understand boundries and will go up and talk to anyone.  Though often he takes on a persona  (usually david letterman)

sometimes i wish he was more the sterotyical non social, that would be much less scary.

by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 9:07 AM
It does sound like he is on the autistic spectrum. I have worked with a lot of children on the spectrum and some are very sociable. Especially if he goes up to any body and talks about himself. Autism isn't a terrible thing and early intervention can see him going far. My friends little girl who I tutored for a long time has come very far and is very socialble and lovable. There is no harm in getting tested, and its not the end of the world as like you say he is a lovely boy and he has parents that love him. You just got to make sure he gets the schooling that is applicable for him and that it does not over whelm him. Good luck with the testing.
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 9:53 AM

Why is your child's father not want Autism? Is it because he knows anything about it? 

Autism is a neurological disorder, it can be helped though with therapy. The child can be taught to adapt to the world. They diagnosed my son with ADHD when he has Aspergers, it is high functioning Autism. The father of your child is not a DR. He can not just cherry pick what he wants. This is not about him, this is about the best interest of the child you share. He needs to grow up,and be a father first.

He also needs to keep an open mind, and Autism diagnosis or any other for that matter is not the end of the world. It enables the child to get the help they need. He should enable his son to be the very best he can, not hinder him.

by Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 10:11 AM

I think your son is more asperger's - which is the high end of autism.  Humans with aspergers are more social, but only in certain situations.  

by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 10:54 AM
My 5 year old son is also social. My son has been diaginosed with hyper sensitive disorder and falls in the autism guide lines. My son is ok playing with himself or other children. My son preferes to play with younger children. My son will talk to almost anybody as long as they are not wearing orange. He says orange is to trisly in his words ( I think it means evil) my son is highly intelegent he gets great grades. But not in joined activity. No one in my sons class can wear orange. My son litteraly freaks out. Also my son speaks in third party person. My son name is Josiah. Example if my son meets a new child my son will say hi my name is Josiah. Josiah this Josiah that. Never me or I. My son can't handle any holes or strings on any of his clothes or blankets. No matter how small. If he gets one drop of water on him he has to change his entire clothing even down to his underwear. If not the screaming and banging his head will start and it wont stop even if the small water drop dries. My son runs back in forth for sometimes 20 min to a hour making transformer noises. He is obsessed with transformers. He can take a brand new transformer out of the box never had or seen before besides cartoons and transform it in 15 min with no help. For me to go grocery shopping. I used to go weekly now I go monthly. It was getting to costly to go weekly. Now let me explain why it is very hard to shop for a family of 5 on a very tight budget so I have to really do some budget shopping. I only have 274 in F's to buy groceries. I am very thankful for it. I would not be able to feed my family without it. But with the amount it is not enough. I have 3 children 2 of my children are special needs. With special diets. I have to have a high carbs for one and my son wont eat certain things. So I budget and shop as wisely as I can so there is enough food. So there is no run in run out shopping. So before grocery shopping was a nightmare. After about 8 min all hell would break loose. Again God forbid anyone wear orange in the store. The screaming head banging would begin. My son also has hydrophilis so banging head will cause seizures. But you learn thrue trial and error. Now I buy a transformer and give it to him I. Have about 30 min. Sometimes if the day is good almost a hour to shop. With this I only go 1 a month sometimes 2. It gets costly. I am a couponer I have to be so it buying him this toy gives me more time and less stress. Yes I have tried taking a transformer he already has and it did not work. Once you give my son one he notices if its missing.
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by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 11:05 AM
My son can set a toy down leave come back and can tell right away if it has been moved even a half a inch. My son is overly loveable wears his heart on his sleeve. Does not like people being sad. But my son can not read body language. Example if him and his dad are rough housing play fighting like transformer he does now when to quit. You have to grab his attention and say Josiah its time to energize and then he will quite. My son is very easy to cry. I never have to spank or time out all I have to do is say Josiah makes mommy sad because Josiah wont pick up toys. He then will give me a hug and pick up toys placing them in there correct order rank size. We don't dare clean up his toys. We never put them up right no matter how much we try. We no longer do it. Josiah does.
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by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 11:07 AM
He constantly has to have a movie playing he will watch movies over and over again. He knows every word. If the movie ends the screaming begins. He is learning how to work are new DVD player he got for Christmas.
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