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Too social to be Autism? PIOG

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

My 5 year old is starting testing coming this Tuesday. I just need some help to make sure that what I am doing is right?

For years now we have been getting conflicting reports about my oldest child, my now 5 year old. He did attend a preschool with an IEP and some of the people said he seemed Autistic, but others say that he is too "social". He was on the IEP for "communication delays" which he still has.

His thing is that he cannot follow a conversation nor keep one for more than two or three back and forths. I have watched other kids even younger than him keep on a good conversation and flow just fine. He does have pretend play, but a lot of it seems more to himself than with others. He still seems to really play next to a child than with a child. It is hard to explain, but he seems to go into his own world and play there with the toys.

He is too "social" though, because he will talk to anyone. I mean ANYONE. He will stop people while shopping to tell them about what just happened in his life and or ask what they are doing. He can ask a person three or four times what they are doing and sometimes he just asks once, but he always goes on to talk about whatever thought is going on in his head and not what the person is really doing. It's like he knows that asking someone what they are doing is an ice breaker to just get them to look at him so he can go on about something completely different. And, everyone is suddenly his friend if they talk to him. Even animals become his friend if they are around him (he gets upset when birds fly from him, because they are his friend and he just wanted to play with his friend).

Other times, though, you can call his name many times and if you do not physically catch his attention by touching him, then he continues with his own thing (staring in space, touching something random, spinning).

I will give an example of what he is like: This last Thursday we went to a McDonald's to play. It was a treat for my kids helping with spring cleaning. At the McDonald's my son approached a little girl who was 3 years old (I asked the parents later). They played for a while and the little girl had to go back to her table to eat her ice cream. Monkey went with her and with no boundaries of space was trying to talk to the father so close he could have pretty much kissed him. He was telling the father about his milk allergy and how the little girl was his friend. The dad of course was trying to be polite, but I went over and physically had to move my son from them. He did well with that and went on to play some of the video games (which he couldn't grasp the concept of the foot pedells for the driving game, but my three year old tried many times to show him). The other child finished her ice cream and they played for a long while. He mostly followed her around and/or she followed him around. At one point, though, she said, "What are we playing?" and he said "tag". They joined some of the other kids playing tag and he had a grand time. I called out the warning that we were going to leave (I always give him three warnings before changing his settings, and that is just left over from my part time parenting of his older half brother). When we were about to leave we did a pit stop into the bathroom. We came out and went out the side door. Monkey didn't follow us. I called to him several times and he never came out the door. So, I went back inside and he was spinning from four tables, touching each one on the corners and then going to the next in a circular motion. People were watching him, of course, and I called his name. He just kept doing it. I went over and stopped him and said, "Hun, back into this world, k?" He nodded and said we were going out the "wrong door". It wasn't the door we entered the place in. I told him it was okay and we went with no problems to the car. He took some constant guiding to get him into his seat and buckled while I buckled the others into their seats. He talks constantly, so at first I didn't really listen to what he was saying when he got upset. I asked what was wrong and he said that I turned on the radio and not his song. He wanted the radio to play his song. What song? HIS SONG... okay, I needed to figure out which song he wanted. I then put in the CD that I made him of his songs, the ones he has to listen to constantly on youtube or whatever. Nope, not one of those. Great... okay, I finally figured out which song. He has been obsessed by the Thrift Shop song since the first time it came on the radio and I didn't turn on his CD fast enough. That is now his song, I guess. I passed my phone to my sister and told her to just download it onto my phone. He had to not only listen to it, but has to watch the counter for it while it is playing. I know he does this with the radio in the car when a CD is playing, too. Okay. Once played he was fine. He watched out the door and sang to himself "Atama, Kata, Hiza, Ashi" (which is Head Shoulders Knees and Toes in Japanese).

Then yesterday he became upset at me for not stopping where I was suppose to to meet his dad for his visitation. I was dropping them off at their grandma's house and not meeting their dad like usual. Yeah, interesting ride yesterday. He was fine once he saw his dad, though, at the house like he is suppose to be there. His dad said he would start the schedule there and calm him down.

Also, all week they didn't have school... which I had to explain many times this week that it was spring break and he wasn't going to go to school. That he couldn't play with his friends (the children in the building) because they were all gone for spring break.

I am confused. I finally got the okay from his dad to set up the testing for him, but his dad said not to test for Autism. He doesn't want to hear Autism come out and he is sure our son just has ADHD. I'm not so sure, though. He is a wonderful little boy, but I think it's more than hyper activity and some sensory issue. Everyone around me (my friends and family) keep saying he is too social to be Autistic... is he? Really? Take out the talking to everyone on the planet and I think he has Autism. His dad and I worked with him to get him to look people in the eyes when he talks, but it took us almost 5 years to get him to do it. Seriously he just started to finally look people in the eyes and it never holds. He looks away pretty quick.

His dad and my sister think he is just mimicking his older brother, but his older brother was non-verbal and would never even acknowledge another person is in the room unless the person got close to him, in which he would scream and self harm if he didn't know the person.

I am so lost. Please someone help me. Am I looking for something that isn't there?

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 23, 2013 at 5:05 PM
Replies (11-17):
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 11:09 AM
So yes my son is autistic. And I would not change anything about him except for his pooping issues.
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Cafe Amanda
by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 11:13 AM

Hugs! You are describing a lot of "quirks" (inlcuding the "social" qualities that really are not typical at all) that could indicate that your son does fall on the autism spectrum. And it sounds like the evaluation you have scheduled is a good idea, despite your ex's reservations about it. Please keep us posted!

by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 11:26 AM
My opinion is have him evaluated. Learning your child's quirks makes life easier for you and your child. No matter what the issue is. It will also help with school. If you ever need to talk I am here just message me and I will send you my number. Hugs mama. Trust me when I say having a quirky child is amazing they will teach you more than you can teach them. Since having my son I used to only see the world in black n white. Now I see the world in colors. Its changed me for the better. Has made me a better person and a better mother. The good days out weigh to stressful days. You may not see it now but you will. Trust me when you find what works and what don't life gets easier the bad days get easier and all you can focus on is how amazing your children are. I am a proud mama of a autistic child and loving it.
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by Bronze Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 10:17 AM

My son has Asperger's and he LIKES to socialize. He has had to learn to read body language and still does not understand or 'get it' when someone is trying to brush him off.

Most people with autism are NOT social, for the very reasons I just mentioned. The fact a few TRY to be social doesn't mean they aren't autistic. My son has several friends with a PDD that are social. Their skills at BEING social are slightly scewered.

by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 26, 2013 at 10:33 AM

I have an autistic child and it sounds like yours is showing some signs. I would have him retested. It's better to have an answer one way or another. If it does turn out to be ASD then he can get the help he needs. The new numbers came out and it's 1-50 kids have ASD. and boys are 4 times more likely to have it.

by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 8:59 PM
Sounds exactly like my daughter at that age. She is 9 now and we have been to at least 10 different doctors since she was 4 and no doctor will diagnosis her with autism. She is going to be reevaluated next month and I am almost positive they will diagnosis her with PDD, which her teacher and therapists agree on. The doctors always say the same thing, she is too social. She has no boundaries, no modesty, no understanding when kids are making fun of her( thank God ). Does your son have any "tics" or repetitive motions?
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by Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 10:50 PM

He could have asperger's syndrome. My brother has that, but a mild form. He is perfectly normal. He has friends but he doesn't hang out with them much. It's a hard thing to explain. He is super smart, can memorize anything and remember it years later. He talks SO much. He gets into these moods where he will just be sad or just want to be alone for a while. He just will get quiet and play video games or go watch tv by himself. 

He is just a normal kid but has these wierd moods that will come out sometimes. He is such a neat kid and I love him so much. 

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