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i really think he starts fights on purpose!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 35 Replies
So often, my dh and I will be having a really nice day together, and out of nowhere he will start a fight. Then, to make matters worse will try to make it seem like I started it. He knows where the ''sore spots'' are, and will just start rubbing one till he gets a reaction. Take the other day, here's a rundown of our convoy while I'm doing the dishes and he's making himself a snack.

Me; My brother and his family were next door., (my parents live next door. My dog plays in their fenced yard with theirs all day and I pick him up in the evening) Jessica said they were looking forward to the baby's birthday party NEXT weekend. I told her it was yesterday.

DH. Yeah right. They knew it was yesterday.

me; seriously, they just mixed up the date, (he hates my bro, and claims it's because they don't come to the kids' b-day parties and forgot to buy our youngest a gift at Christmas, but I really think he's just jealous because my bro is wealthy)

DH: you can buy that load of crap if you want to, but I don't. They never go to our kids' parties, even though we go to theirs. I'm telling you, we are NEVER going to another one of their kid's parties again, or buying their kids a Christmas present.

ME; (say nothing but resolve to go without him and buy their kids b-day and Christmas gifts myself)

DH; I don't particularly care for your brother. I like your sister. She always comes to the birthday parties.

ME; I know, (we've argued about this numerous times, and I've told him I love and admire my brother very much and that it hurts me when he badmouths him), can we just drop the subject, Honey? I love you and I don't want to argue about this again.

DH; You brought it up.

Me: I'm sorry. I wish I had never mentioned it.

(A few minutes of no talking)

DH; When I think of how he didn't even get sweet pea a Christmas present it just pisses me off. I just dare somebody to ask why when we stop buying their kids gifts, cuz I'll tell them.

ME; (saying nothing. Still trying to avoid arguing...)
DH; (after a few minutes) I hope you tell them, too. If they ask you why we don't go to their parties or buy their kids presents, I hope you tell the truth and not just make up some polite excuse to spare their tiny little feeeelings. (Saying 'feelings' in a weird high pitched voice)

ME; (still not saying anything)

DH; I'll tell them. I'll tell them the TRUTH. I don't like you're brother. He can kiss my you know what.

ME; We've discussed this before. Can we PLEASE just drop the subject. I don't like to fight with you. We've been having a nice day, and I don't want to ruin it. You know I love my brother and it hurts me when you talk bad about him.

DH; OK. I'll drop it. You know how I feel.

ME; Yes I do, and you know how I feel, so let's just agree to disagree, OK?

DH; O.K. I won't talk about it any more.

( a few minutes pass)

DH; (more ranting and raving about my 'horrible' brother of which I can't remember every word...) Really if they ask you why we don't go to their parties are you going to tell them the truth?

ME; Yeah, I'm going to tell them the truth. My husband is a grumpy man and he doesn't like you'' that's what I'll tell him.

DH; Oh, sure! It's MY fault! I'm the bad guy!

(More arguing ensues, he says he'll drop it at least one or two more times, then brings it right back up, and keeps throwing in my face over and over that I said I would tell my brother that dh is a grumpy man, which he is. Eventually, after trying to remain calm and diffuse the situation, I get too mad to contain it and yell at him about not dropping it when he says he's going to, and go in the bedroom and slam the door. J.I.c. anybody's wondering, the older kids were at their Dad's and the baby was sleeping. She would sleep through a hurricane. Then he continues to want to argue and keeps trying to make it all out to be my fault by saying, ''YOU are the one who exploded, not me!" Of course I eventually exploded. He wasn't going to stop until I did. We've had similar arguments where he starts it off by rubbing a sore wound about other things. He does this a lot.

Later, after I cool off, I go to him while he's playing video games as usual, and I ask him what's REALLY going on. Why he doesn't want to be happy. I give him my whole heart and so why is he trying to sabotage; our relationship. He says he's not and he loves me too' blah blah blah, but i really think he starts drama just to start drama, and i don't know why. I don't reward him by having makeup sex or anything. Why does! he do this time and time again??!
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 4, 2013 at 3:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 4, 2013 at 4:08 PM
Bump!
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 4, 2013 at 4:23 PM
Bump. I feel so ignored. :(
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 4, 2013 at 4:28 PM
Don't worry. I know how posts like this usually go. I'll carry it on all by myself if I have to. Watch this...
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 4, 2013 at 4:28 PM
Person 1; Well, you married him. Why'd ya marry such a jerk?
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 4, 2013 at 4:30 PM
Person 2; What a jerk! I wouldn't put up with that!
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 4, 2013 at 4:38 PM
Person 3; like he acted that way before they were married! (Eye roll)


Quoting Anonymous:

Person 1; Well, you married him. Why'd ya marry such a jerk?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 4, 2013 at 4:52 PM
Person 4; My dh is the same way. I feel your pain!
nurse1997
by Bronze Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 5:05 PM

I got family like that too and it pisses me off like crazy it dont bug me that they dont come to my parties its the stupid shit they say why they didnt  come that bugs me  !!!! Im with your husband sorry ;]

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 4, 2013 at 6:11 PM
2 moms liked this

If my husband starts stuff out of the blue. I tell him he can argue with himself and go into my room. If he comes in I put on my coat and take a walk. I refuse to argue over silly things.

ladykikiju
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 7:07 PM

to me it sounds like a child having a tantrum. He Has some issues in his pass that he doesnt like and your brother is triggering him. So tell him its not your bother thats bothering him so much then what is it. Like it was His own brother or father that didnt come over to his birthday party and didnt bother buying a gift for him. 

It also sounds like he is using negative behaviour to get attention. with a hint of self esteem issues.

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