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My little girls father, my boyfriend, is always out and about. He goes to college on Tuesday and Thursdays, works on Wed, Fri, and Sat for a few hours. Here lately he is always wanting to do something when he wants and never seems to want to be home with me and kaylee. All he wants to do is play golf, video games, computer, basketball... I am a sahm for now and do everything even when he's not working...

Is this normal? It's really starting to get old.
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by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 1:32 PM
Replies (11-16):
GertieK
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 7:30 PM

Sounds like an extremely immature un-committed guy.  You aren't married,  and he is showing no signs of being a real dad.  Time to confront him and  put your cards on the table.  A family is just that - a family, and a close-knit stable home (that the kids really need) requires all hands on deck.  It doesn'[t appear that he is willing to do what he needs to do to make that happen.  Being a parent requires great sacrifice on both parent's part.  Life is hard, and you shouldn't have to do it alone.  Your child deserves both of you. 

gsmom9
by Bronze Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 8:44 AM

right. like a family night 


Quoting sweetr0se:

It's not normal for me, I believe guys should have thier free time and hang out with the guys! But I think on days like Sunday should be spent with just the family, there isn't a need to spend time with friends on that day! I would tell him how you feel and give him days he should be home and that he needs to be putting his family first!


 

nova.mommy
by Bronze Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 9:54 AM

After your DD has gone to sleep, sit down and talk to him.  Don't yell, just tell him your concerns and see if he can or is willing to alter his plans for you and you child.  You could phrase it in a way that makes it sound like you are concerned because the DD you have together wants to spend more time with her father.  

GertieK
by Silver Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 11:06 AM
1 mom liked this

Approach him as though he is an adult.  We all have to be accountable for our actions.  Personally, I am not big on having to give a lot of reasons to someone his age who has made an adult decision to bring a child into the world, but then does not follow through as an adult.  He should not even have to be begged or talked into understanding.  In my book, he is getting away with it because he has not been held accountable.  How do you pay your bills?  You are a sahm, and he apparently only works a few hours a week.  Time for him to take pride in his role, step up, and be a man.  IF he was absent because he was working all the time to support the family that would be one thing.  Ya'll haven't married, and call me old fashioned, but that is a lack of commitment on his part, and his behavior is clearly reflecting that.

zeesmuse
by Bronze Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 11:46 AM

He's NOT being much of a father or a husband... and yeah you're not married, but he might as well be. What he is doing with his off time is unfair to you and your daughter. You need to demand family time because he's not giving it to you or your daughter. If he won't... then... well, you have your answer. He's not ready to to grow up and be an adult.

lilmamabowers
by on Apr. 11, 2013 at 10:21 PM
Thanks everyone for all the input. We have been working on things these past few days so hopefully it all turns out to be fine. He said he was gonna try to act better. I did ask him why he never offered to watch kaylee and he told me it was bc I had no where to go.. But that's ok I just let it slide. When girl has enough, she'll know. I not only will do what's best for myself, it will also be best for my little girl!
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