Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Divorce

Posted by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 3:50 PM
  • 15 Replies
Should a divorced man always be indebted to his ex wife? Should he not go on to have more children and another life? Should his first set of children's wants supersede the second set of children's needs? My lunch group brought this topic up and I thought I would get more diverse answers here.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 3:50 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
abecee
by Silver Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:02 PM
2 moms liked this

He should not be indebted to his ex at all.  He should not have more children than he can support and provide for.

Stephd710
by Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:59 PM

Well I am divorced and I think that as long as the man can AFFORD a new family and not put his original (i cant think of a better word, lol) children on the back burner, then im all for it.  Unfortunately, thats not the case with my ex.  He was married before me, had 4 kids, married me and had 2, cheated on me and knocked up his gf and they had one.  So in his case, no he could not afford the newest kid.  He could barely afford ours, but at least the two of us together made it work.  Now I get a measly CS amount and he only sees our girls every other weekend.  

grannie_kel
by Bronze Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 5:15 PM

I don't think he should forever be indebted to his ex-wife but financially he should always be indebted to any children from his previous relationship over and above any new children he may have.  I do think that should carry beyond just the first set of children's "needs" (child support that usually doesn't cover much) to at least some of their "wants".  Although children cannot have everything they want, there are too many that get nothing of what they want because their fathers are off raising other children who are getting the "wants". 

marchantmom06
by Bronze Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 6:28 PM
And what if the first set are grown? They had college paid for, funds set up for them ect ect? Do you still feel that way?


Quoting grannie_kel:

I don't think he should forever be indebted to his ex-wife but financially he should always be indebted to any children from his previous relationship over and above any new children he may have.  I do think that should carry beyond just the first set of children's "needs" (child support that usually doesn't cover much) to at least some of their "wants".  Although children cannot have everything they want, there are too many that get nothing of what they want because their fathers are off raising other children who are getting the "wants". 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
grannie_kel
by Bronze Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 6:37 PM

If they are grown and through college, financially they should then be making it on their own and should be paying for their own needs and wants.  We would be talking about adults now, of course it would be different.


Quoting marchantmom06:

And what if the first set are grown? They had college paid for, funds set up for them ect ect? Do you still feel that way?


Quoting grannie_kel:

I don't think he should forever be indebted to his ex-wife but financially he should always be indebted to any children from his previous relationship over and above any new children he may have.  I do think that should carry beyond just the first set of children's "needs" (child support that usually doesn't cover much) to at least some of their "wants".  Although children cannot have everything they want, there are too many that get nothing of what they want because their fathers are off raising other children who are getting the "wants". 




Marimaru
by Sarah Joy on Apr. 22, 2013 at 7:35 PM

He needs to make sure he can continue to take care of his older children if he decides to have younger children.  Other than that, he doesn't owe his ex anything.  It's the kids he needs to make sure he cares for.

luvhugz08
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 10:58 AM

 and he should love all his kids the same!!!

Quoting abecee:

He should not be indebted to his ex at all.  He should not have more children than he can support and provide for.

 

marmie41
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 11:07 AM
No he should not be indebted to his ex. They are divorced. And not accountable (as spouses) to each other anymore. The childre, if under the age of majority, is a different matter.
ashisamom
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 11:46 AM

I think he should not be indebted. Alimony is wrong. Helping pay for the kids is fine but I don't think a man who wants his kids full time should have to pay child support. I am going through a divorce. I ask for no money. We make about the same amount. I have the kids because I am more capable of managing their healthcare needs. I still pay for his cell phone and he gives me $50 a week because he wants to not because I ask or have it ordered. I use that money to take the kids out to do fun things and save some for summer camp, a pool membership and other things. If he ever needs to stop paying that money, I would be ok with it. Hopefully he could help out if we had an emergency but I would rather him save his money for his needs or to be able to come see the kids as we live 900 miles away.

KTU
by Kim on Apr. 25, 2013 at 12:39 PM

I do not think a husband is indebted to anyone but his children. And as long as he can support all of his children (financially and emotionally), then I see no reason why he should not have more kids.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)