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Should a divorced man always be indebted to his ex wife? Should he not go on to have more children and another life? Should his first set of children's wants supersede the second set of children's needs? My lunch group brought this topic up and I thought I would get more diverse answers here.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 3:50 PM
Replies (11-15):
happinessforyou
by Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 1:03 PM
1 mom liked this

Well, I guess I'm the only one here who thinks that if I got a divorce today: after almost 30 years of marriage, 1 kid through college and another one starting, YES I would expect to get 1/2 of everything we have worked our entire adult lives for.

My DH's career came first-I was a SAHM for years. And I went to college and I work, but he still out earns me. I deposited to the 401K. I deposited to the savings/mortgage etc..etc.. Why would I not expect some compensation after all this time?

And at this age, if he started another family-he would just be stupid.

But for the record- I absolutely hate when people ditch their 1st family, run right out and start another family and expect the 1st family to just disappear.... pathetic.

marmie41
by Bronze Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 1:13 PM
I don't think this is what she is tallking about. I agree with getting your share in the divorce settlement. After all is settled and done, I do not believe the ex is indebted to their formner spouse. I will be married 29 years in July and if there was a divorce I would get my share. After that we would not be indebted to each other ar all.





Quoting happinessforyou:

Well, I guess I'm the only one here who thinks that if I got a divorce today: after almost 30 years of marriage, 1 kid through college and another one starting, YES I would expect to get 1/2 of everything we have worked our entire adult lives for.

My DH's career came first-I was a SAHM for years. And I went to college and I work, but he still out earns me. I deposited to the 401K. I deposited to the savings/mortgage etc..etc.. Why would I not expect some compensation after all this time?

And at this age, if he started another family-he would just be stupid.

But for the record- I absolutely hate when people ditch their 1st family, run right out and start another family and expect the 1st family to just disappear.... pathetic.


Crazylife1994
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 1:15 PM

No he should not have to be indebted to his ex. His children should always be his priority and if he can't remain a good father to his first children then he should not have more.

Crazylife1994
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 1:18 PM
1 mom liked this

I think she is talking more about young children and marriages..

 

I totally agree with you though. I have 19 yrs with my husband and I had always put his career first. So if we were to divorce he would walk away without giving me half. I have earned it. 


Quoting happinessforyou:

Well, I guess I'm the only one here who thinks that if I got a divorce today: after almost 30 years of marriage, 1 kid through college and another one starting, YES I would expect to get 1/2 of everything we have worked our entire adult lives for.

My DH's career came first-I was a SAHM for years. And I went to college and I work, but he still out earns me. I deposited to the 401K. I deposited to the savings/mortgage etc..etc.. Why would I not expect some compensation after all this time?

And at this age, if he started another family-he would just be stupid.

But for the record- I absolutely hate when people ditch their 1st family, run right out and start another family and expect the 1st family to just disappear.... pathetic.


 

happinessforyou
by Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 1:19 PM

You are right- I was thinking of a "bigger" question than the OP was asking maybe. I would expect him to still send DS through college, because that is what we would do if we were still married.

As for me-split and gone honey! lol


Quoting marmie41:

I don't think this is what she is tallking about. I agree with getting your share in the divorce settlement. After all is settled and done, I do not believe the ex is indebted to their formner spouse. I will be married 29 years in July and if there was a divorce I would get my share. After that we would not be indebted to each other ar all.





Quoting happinessforyou:

Well, I guess I'm the only one here who thinks that if I got a divorce today: after almost 30 years of marriage, 1 kid through college and another one starting, YES I would expect to get 1/2 of everything we have worked our entire adult lives for.

My DH's career came first-I was a SAHM for years. And I went to college and I work, but he still out earns me. I deposited to the 401K. I deposited to the savings/mortgage etc..etc.. Why would I not expect some compensation after all this time?

And at this age, if he started another family-he would just be stupid.

But for the record- I absolutely hate when people ditch their 1st family, run right out and start another family and expect the 1st family to just disappear.... pathetic.




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