Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The Cafe The Cafe

Should I abandon my kids to go back to work?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 20 Replies

Abandoning them. That's how my husband and parents see it. I've been home with the kids for 3yrs and want to go back to work now. My husband originally didn't have a problem with the idea, but my mom and dad both say my husband shouldn't have to babysit the kids and clean the house, that's my job and going off to work will mean I've abandoned them all? Now my husband agrees with them. 

Should I go back to work?

Posted by Anonymous on May. 16, 2013 at 8:53 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
im_not_trollin
by on May. 16, 2013 at 9:09 AM

 You should have discussed that pre kids....

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 16, 2013 at 9:15 AM
2 moms liked this
It is not abandoning them? It your dh abandoning them by working?? No.
Do you need money? I agree this all should have been talked about pre kids. Your husband should be cleaning the house some and watching the kids whether you work or not.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
aimesnyc
by on May. 16, 2013 at 9:17 AM
2 moms liked this

You should do what you want and what is best for your family.  Don't let their dramatic thinking bother you. Talk to your husband about the pros and cons, and leave his parents out of the equation.  You are a team, and it's not just the wife's job to clean and take care of the kids.  Sheesh.  It's his mess, his house, and his kids, too.

ljbaudoin
by on May. 16, 2013 at 9:20 AM
I Think If Two Names Are On The Mortgage Then Two People Share The Household Chores. Shame On Your Family, It's 2013.... You Can Be A Great Mom And Wife Working As Well As Staying Home. If It's a Financial Concern Then Maybe That's More Understandable, But I Think Saying Abandoning Is A Stretch. :/
shortyshorts25
by on May. 16, 2013 at 10:11 AM

Thats just silly! i stay at home now too but when i was pregnant with my youngest i went back to work part time ( not really for the money) just a few hours to get out of the house .. its not just about money its about having the the sense of indepence and doing something for you.. its  not his job to watch his kids?? haha well then he shouldn't have had kids.. my husband helps with stuff around the house i mean i do most of it but hes got not problem helping and knows its not just my job either

shortyshorts25
by on May. 16, 2013 at 10:13 AM

I also think that even if you had discussed pre kids that feelings and people change.. thats what my husband and i talked about and i went back to work for a little bit.. ive been home since with both the kids but ive told him once we get a second car that i want to go back to work part time and he knows it would be good for me too and while im at it ill make extra money for my family.. can't beat that

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 16, 2013 at 10:25 AM

We did discuss it. I worked when we were married. I worked when we had our oldest until he turned 2 and I had the 2nd and 3rd. He never had a problem with my working before, but suddenly does now.


Quoting im_not_trollin:

 You should have discussed that pre kids....



bamababe1975
by Silver Member on May. 16, 2013 at 10:26 AM

 Does he work? If so, does he think that's abandonment? Do your parents think that he abandons them to work?



RUCRIOUS925
by on May. 16, 2013 at 10:35 AM
1 mom liked this

What year are your loved ones living in? Seems to me they have very old school views. If you feel you would like to do something outside the home than you should go for it. Mothers need to be happy so the home can run smoothly and happy. Your husband would not be babysitting because those are his children, he would be a care provider such as you are on a daily. Women's roles changed years ago, cook and clean? Wow I am shocked to still be hearing this. Abandon? Why? because you want to be productive in other ways? I wish you the best of luck and please do not fall into the parent guilt trip. :)

Lili0509
by on May. 16, 2013 at 10:42 AM

 You just need to whats right for you...house chores are a responsibility that you both should take care of. Bringing money home is a necessity, so ya'll just need to decide who's going to work or ifya'll both need to work. Idealy we all want to be able to stay home and have money but the reality is that most of us have to work.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)