Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I Won't Put My Son on a Leash!

Cafe Steph
Yesterday at 8:20 AM
Giveaway: Happy Independence Day! Win a $100 gift card! - CafeMom

Let's play the 4th of July word game!How many words can you make out of... "Happy Independence Da

Posted by on May. 20, 2013 at 8:21 AM
  • 76 Replies
1 mom liked this

I Won't Put My Son on a Leash

by Bob Meadows 

Xavier and me walkingMy son is running. He’s no Usain Bolt, but he’s pretty quick. Rumor has it, he will only get faster. So the question is: Will I use a restraint for him, one of those backpacks shaped like an animal that has a really long tail? The answer: No! I will not put a leash on my son.

His safety is my chief concern, so I don’t care that the harness might embarrass him or make him look like an ancient Mike Myer’s sketch on Saturday Night Live. (And I do allow concessions for children with medical issues that may make a restraint a requirement and for parents who have more than one child to keep an eye on). But if you have only one child, like me, you should be able to keep your little one out of harm’s way when walking down the street.

First step: Put down the cell phone. I see this all the time. Parents walking and celling at the same time. If you are walking with your child, there is nothing more important than your child. Texting while walking is a no-no. Talking on the phone while walking is a no-no. Facebooking while walking is a no-no. Wait until you get to the park or the library or Grandma’s house, some place with four walls, and then you can ignore your real family to play with your fake one.

When my son and I walk down the street, I’m looking at him with brief glances to scan our surroundings. If I need to look somewhere other than at him for an extended time, the first thing I do is hold his hand.

When we walk, I am on the street side, and he can amble without any restraint. If he wants to be on the street side, I am holding his hand (or wrist, when he tries to pull away from me). This isn’t negotiable.

So Daddy’s arm will be the restraint, along with stern looks and sterner warnings. But leashes? No way.

Do/did you use a harness? Why or why not?

by on May. 20, 2013 at 8:21 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
by on May. 20, 2013 at 8:41 AM
3 moms liked this

Never have, never will. If you can't control your child in a public situation then don't bring them out. Children are little people, not pets you leash up!

by on May. 20, 2013 at 8:42 AM
1 mom liked this

I never understood the leash thing.  In my own opinion, I think it causes even more rebellion.

by on May. 20, 2013 at 8:42 AM
1 mom liked this
Yes I did beause I chose to do so. My son will be 6 a month from tomorrow. He listens wonderfully and is fantastically behaved. It totally served its purpose for the brief period we used it (when he started walking at 15 months until about 2 1/2) and we were ALL happy.
by Anonymous 1 on May. 20, 2013 at 8:48 AM
Mine held my hand or was in a stroller.
by on May. 20, 2013 at 8:57 AM
1 mom liked this
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't ever tempted because I have twin boys who will be 4 in a week and they have both decided at one point or another to test out the "Divide and Conquer" thing which wrecked my nerves at the time but I've never actually put a leash on them because I don't feel like teaching my children to listen, by practically yanking on a leash as if they're puppies.

They have learned and it was without a leash....
by Ruby Member on May. 20, 2013 at 9:40 AM
1 mom liked this

I never did. I never knew anyone who did. I have seen people using them on sidewalks, malls, etc.

by Silver Member on May. 20, 2013 at 9:42 AM
Guess the article doesn't apply to me.I'm about to harness my 2 year old because she won't stay by me or hold my hand. Strapping her into a seat won't work, she wiggles out. I have two kids and can't be leaving my 5 year old to run after her constantly.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on May. 20, 2013 at 9:45 AM
I tried to use one! He hated it, but if I wish I could have.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on May. 20, 2013 at 9:53 AM

I tried to use a leash but the son who needed it was having none of it, would simply lay on the floor. That said, I see nothing wrong with them except for adult's inability to understand their value. My dog needs a leash less then my toddler. She acutually heels and comes when called. My 2 year old, not so much. 

Generally, I don't take my kids to places like the grocery store or run errands with them because they need my full attention, but if I have to, my kids safety is well more important the "fear the my child will be harmed" by a leash. Will you tell them not to wear a helmet because their hair will look silly? How about not wearing a life jacket because the won't look cool. 

A small child with a strong will can break away from even the most attentive parent in a moment, I saw just such a thing happen on a train platform. One minute mom had his hand, the next thing he was running headlong for the tracks. No one reacted as fast as she did, thank goodness she got him because he went from the farthest point to the tracks to just about on them. After seeing that, I never thought twice about the need for a leash for certain kids. 

by on May. 20, 2013 at 9:53 AM
Yes, for one out of the four kids because she wouldn't hold my hand and would bite, kick and scream. She has a litany of diagnoses now. But at the time, all I knew was she acted like a feral child. Restraint was the only method possible though she wasn't allowed to run the length, it was used until we were able to teach her, and trust her, to consistently stay by me. By 3 1/2 I could say "grab my pockets" and ds (5) and dd (3 1/2) would hold onto my back pockets while I carried ds(infant) and bags to the car through a busy parking lot. I used the restraint as a temporary insurance until we were able to work through the issues that caused her to be so violent in those situations.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN