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I Love My Kid Too Much to Get Her a Store-Bought Birthday Cake

Posted by on May. 22, 2013 at 8:17 AM
  • 33 Replies

I Love My Kid Too Much to Get Her a Store-Bought Birthday Cake

by Jeanne Sager

Rainbow Cake CakezillaI have spent weeks. No days. OK, OK, weeks, combing Pinterest for the perfect idea for cupcakes for my daughter's upcoming birthday party. She wants pandas, and she's going to get pandas if I have to stay up until 3 a.m. crafting cute little black and white bear cubs until my fingers bleed.

Yes, I am one of those moms, the moms Good Morning America called out for being cakezillas who intimidate other moms with their push for perfection this week. A store-bought birthday cake just isn't good enough for my baby. 

It sounds nuts, doesn't it?

I know it does. I know I'm trying too hard.

Every year after the party is over and the kids have gone home, I sit down on my couch and vow to lay off next year, to give myself a break. I'll hire someone to bake the cake! I'll go store-bought! I'll bite off something I can actually chew!

And then spring hits, and my daughter's June birthday looms, and there I am, furiously searching for an idea to blow my kid away. Because I just.

Can't.

Stop.

It's a sickness that I'm not quite sure how to explain, but I'll give it my best shot: I feel like making my kid's birthday awesome is part of getting her childhood "right," and that means doing things myself. I just can't bring myself to accept the "help" of an outside baker. The very idea fills me up with dread. Last year I was sick as a dog before my daughter's birthday, and even letting my husband make her "bring to school" cupcakes made me cry.

Call it being a cakezilla. Call it peer pressure. Call it extreme parenting. Or just call it crazy.

But I have a feeling I'm not alone, and not just because of the GMA story on us birthday cake nuts. As a mom there is always something you feel you need to do yourself, that you just won't accept help on.

For me it's the birthday cake.

Maybe for you it was the baby book.

Maybe it's bath time.

Or bed time.

Or being the mom who HAS to volunteer to chaperone the kids' field trips because you just feel compelled to spend a day on a bus full of screaming 8-year-olds.

We all have something we feel like we need to do for our kids and do all by ourselves, if only to prove that we can. Whether our kids will even notice is hard to tell. Every year she thanks me for her cake. But will she remember them in 10 years? In 20? Will she remember that Mommy was up into the wee hours on a muggy June night making a second cake because the first one stuck to the pan?

Maybe she will. Maybe she won't.

But doing this for my kid isn't about judging other mothers (I could give a fig if you go store-bought). It's about me showing my kid I love her in a way that works for me (and my neuroses).

So don't be intimidated by my homemade birthday cake, and I won't be intimidated by your picture-perfect nursery.

We all show love in different ways. 

Have you fallen prey to the "must make the perfect cake" monster? Or is it something else you just can't delegate?

by on May. 22, 2013 at 8:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
cjsmom1
by Silver Member on May. 22, 2013 at 8:23 AM
1 mom liked this
I get a store bought cake. I don't need the stress of making a cake. Plus the store cake looks a lot prettier
mommaTLC186
by on May. 22, 2013 at 8:26 AM
1 mom liked this
I have never bought a store bought cake, I even make my own birthday cakes lol
Roo1234
by Member on May. 22, 2013 at 8:26 AM
the tradition in our house is that the birthday child get to help make and decorate the birthday cake. no perfection, but lots of meaningful memories
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on May. 22, 2013 at 8:27 AM
I have to say I had homemade cakes every year for Bdays. I hated it and wanted a store bought cake. I made sure mine had store bought cakes every year.
The ones the article are about are nuts though. Perfectionist ocd freaks are total nut bags.
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nanasue31204
by Member on May. 22, 2013 at 8:41 AM

I make my kids cakes most of the time, we are picky on flavors and most store bought cakes and icing just don't taste good. My kids pick the theme and I do my best to make the cake look good. Last October we had a joint party for my 4 yr old son and 1 yr old daughter, I made the garden cake being attacked by army guys in the picture above. It wasn't perfect but it was fun to make, cost a lot less than it would have been to have it made, the kids helped and 90% of it was edible compared to foam and plastic that would have been used to achieve the look at the store. My older 2 are having a bday party in a couple weeks, one wants a beyblade cake the other a ninja turtle cake. For the beyblade one I'm making a stadium and adding beyblades and the turtle one will look like a pizza with figures on top. Its not that hard and many things can be molded out of modeling chocolate and no one else will have a cake like them. I don't want an award, I just want my kids to have a cake they love and that actually tastes good.
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fullxbusymom
by Bronze Member on May. 22, 2013 at 8:47 AM
1 mom liked this

I will never buy my kids a cake.  I have always made their cakes, it is the one thing I just love to do for them and an amazing memory for them to have. As they get to pick the flavors and the themes and it is all made from scratch.

bhow
by Bronze Member on May. 22, 2013 at 9:01 AM

I have put days and nights into cakes for my daughters, and everybody loves them.  We used to go to parties down the road for 2 boys, (brothers) and they always had store bought.  Every time they would ask me to make their next one.  Had kids here at our parties ask also.  The mom with the two boys is just lazy.  Her husband does everything.  Laundry, cooking, cleaning, shopping, AND a lot of times would do evening dentist, doctor appointments cause the mom just didn't want to.  Most of us can't stand her and are happy the boys are grown so we don't get invited to parties where we have to be around her.  All the woman would go to give the dad a break.  I did offer to make cakes once and the mom screamed at me.  

I am not saying if you by a cake you are lazy...just this woman in particular is absolutely lazy.  We don't understand why he keeps her around, it's not like she attempts to do her fair share of raising kids.  It is easier for him now that their boys are older.

How2Be

mumamy
by on May. 22, 2013 at 10:18 AM

I LOVE birthdays. Such a celebration in our home. I go crazy planning. In the first few years Id pay a cake maker for real fancy ones but in the past few year have found so much fun in making them myself and trying to go bigger and better each year on the cake.

mollymae09
by on May. 22, 2013 at 10:26 AM
We go store bought. I'm the one who is scared of burning the cake or having it too dry (our oven is a POS). So I go for the safe bet and get a cake that can be decorated nicely (I am NOT artistic. At all)
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 22, 2013 at 10:36 AM

My husband likes to make our cakes. He likes to make as much at home as he can. 

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