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Working moms aren't taking care of their kids, someone else is...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 57 Replies

Why do SAHM's say that working moms "aren't taking care of their children, they're just pawning them off on someone else to take care of?" Just because we aren't with our children 24/7 doesn't mean we're pawning them off or that we aren't taking care of them.

Thoughts?

Posted by Anonymous on May. 29, 2013 at 12:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ninamsi
by on May. 29, 2013 at 12:50 PM

Until your children are of school age, someone else is taking care of them.  When your children become old enough to attend school and unless you home school it does not matter if you are a SAHM or not.  Unless your ancestors were rich most people had someone besides their mothers care for them.  The majority of people had a mother that worked at some point in their lives.  I may be wrong but death, job losses etc. can make it impossible to care for a family and you have to work outside of the home.

Stephd710
by on May. 29, 2013 at 1:57 PM
2 moms liked this

Im a working mom.  I will admit that my sitter and my parents (who both watch my girls for me) are taking care of them when I am at work.  But I am still the mom.  My girls know the difference.  I like the arrangement.  They are always excited to see me when I come pick them up and it really makes me appreciate and look forward to the weekends when we get to spend lots of time together. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 29, 2013 at 2:28 PM
2 moms liked this

But I'm taking care of them, too, by providing for them and making sure they have proper care while I work. I'm not just "pawning them off" and not doing anything for them. By working for a living, I AM taking care of them, even if they aren't with me 40hrs of the week.


Quoting ninamsi:

Until your children are of school age, someone else is taking care of them.  When your children become old enough to attend school and unless you home school it does not matter if you are a SAHM or not.  Unless your ancestors were rich most people had someone besides their mothers care for them.  The majority of people had a mother that worked at some point in their lives.  I may be wrong but death, job losses etc. can make it impossible to care for a family and you have to work outside of the home.



roseblossom90
by on May. 29, 2013 at 2:32 PM
4 moms liked this

My sister is a working mother and I stay at home. I just feel like she misses out on so much (her children are 2 years, 4 mo and 5 mo.) I get to be there for every new thing that my girls do.

I understand for women that need the extra money, but for those who are financially stable I just don't understand why they would want to be away from their children.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 29, 2013 at 2:40 PM
9 moms liked this
Better than being a sahm on welfare. Working Mom's are providing. It is awesome. Many Mom's are better Mom's for working. They are not meant to be sahm's. Every family is different. Hate Mom's that put down mom's for working.
ninamsi
by on May. 29, 2013 at 2:45 PM

 

I am on your side!  I work also.  I stayed at home for two years.  I am glad that I did but, every woman does not have the opportunity to do that.  I really missed working.  My two youngest kids are doing well in school and I have worked most of their lives.  My mother worked and so my husband's mother.  I can only name a few women that did not work outside of their homes. 

Quoting Anonymous:

But I'm taking care of them, too, by providing for them and making sure they have proper care while I work. I'm not just "pawning them off" and not doing anything for them. By working for a living, I AM taking care of them, even if they aren't with me 40hrs of the week.

 

Quoting ninamsi:

Until your children are of school age, someone else is taking care of them.  When your children become old enough to attend school and unless you home school it does not matter if you are a SAHM or not.  Unless your ancestors were rich most people had someone besides their mothers care for them.  The majority of people had a mother that worked at some point in their lives.  I may be wrong but death, job losses etc. can make it impossible to care for a family and you have to work outside of the home.

 

 


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 29, 2013 at 2:46 PM
My Mom worked too.


Quoting ninamsi:

 


I am on your side!  I work also.  I stayed at home for two years.  I am glad that I did but, every woman does not have the opportunity to do that.  I really missed working.  My two youngest kids are doing well in school and I have worked most of their lives.  My mother worked and so my husband's mother.  I can only name a few women that did not work outside of their homes. 


Quoting Anonymous:


But I'm taking care of them, too, by providing for them and making sure they have proper care while I work. I'm not just "pawning them off" and not doing anything for them. By working for a living, I AM taking care of them, even if they aren't with me 40hrs of the week.


 


Quoting ninamsi:


Until your children are of school age, someone else is taking care of them.  When your children become old enough to attend school and unless you home school it does not matter if you are a SAHM or not.  Unless your ancestors were rich most people had someone besides their mothers care for them.  The majority of people had a mother that worked at some point in their lives.  I may be wrong but death, job losses etc. can make it impossible to care for a family and you have to work outside of the home.


 


 




 


CatFishMom
by on May. 29, 2013 at 3:23 PM
2 moms liked this

It's kind of basic math. When a sitter or daycare has them for nine or more hours out of the day and the parent has them four? (Im not talking about sleeping time, obviously) It's kind of obvious who does the majority of the caregiving there.
And for the record, I said the same thing when I WAS a full time working mom. My husband and I worked opposite shifts so my son was only with my mother for one hour between me going in and my husband coming home. We were still the primary caregivers for our son. So it's not just stay home mothers who say it. My attitude didnt change after I quit working, I just got put onto the side where Im not supposed to have an opinion anymore.

BJWolfe
by on May. 29, 2013 at 3:34 PM
1 mom liked this

Wow, I didn't know this was still an issue and I'm really glad I've lived in the communities that I have.  I'm a SAHM and I have friends who work out of the home and some who don't: and there is more than enough respect to go around.  My working mom friends envy that we get to spend time with our kids and appreciate when we take on an extra couple of playdates with their kids; and in turn, offer afternoons off for us when they can, and it may just be their nanny watching a couple of extra kids.  The SAHMs envy the freedom and spare money our working friends have, and emphasize that the playdates with the right kids mean entertainment for our own children and we actually get some time to get stuff done around the house.     I personally chose to stay at home because I knew I would feel guilty (unnecessarily I might add) that I was leaving my kids, and I'm a worry wart so I want my own eyes on my kids, and I knew I would be too divided to properly do my job at my workplace.  It was my personal decision.  My advice to you: don't give a hoot what other people may say about you, generally it reflects some of their own baggage. Each mom needs to figure out the path that works for her, work out of the home, or stay at home.  AND for goodness sake: RESPECT the woman next door, down the street, in the next neighborhood over, who chose a different path.  WE ARE ALL MOMS! There is nothing more universal than that.   www.bjwolfe.com

cajunniki90
by on May. 29, 2013 at 3:41 PM
2 moms liked this

I am a stay-at-home-mom, now, but, I was a working mom at one time.  I know how hard it is to juggle both priorties!!  And, I know how blessed I am to be able to stay home.  I would never tell a working mom that they are pawning their child off.  This is the world we live in!!!  Moms must do what they can to survive in this crazy world of ours!!  I say "Rock on, working moms!!!"

you rock


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