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Why Dad's don't take paternity leave

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies
15% of US companies pay some paternity leave.
Why they don't.
Stigma, worried about losing their job. Competitive work environment. Wanna get away from the chaos. Wanna get back in the groove again.

My dh took a few days off each time.
Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 14, 2013 at 9:21 AM
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Replies (1-10):
DeLaLi
by Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 11:24 AM

If the males are able to, I do not see/understand why they would not do it. My DH took off an entire week! It was not really considered paternity leave, but it was FMLA. It is pretty much the same anyway. Regardless, I think it is wonderful for a dad to do this and spend time with his newborn. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 14, 2013 at 11:27 AM
They are really talking a month or more. I know my dh has way too much responsibility. My dh works 365 days a year in some sort of capacity, vacations, whenever.


Quoting DeLaLi:

If the males are able to, I do not see/understand why they would not do it. My DH took off an entire week! It was not really considered paternity leave, but it was FMLA. It is pretty much the same anyway. Regardless, I think it is wonderful for a dad to do this and spend time with his newborn. 


me-n-mygirls
by Shontell on Jun. 14, 2013 at 11:29 AM
my husband did take time off.

first n third was like a week or two.
ssecond was the entire 12 weeks.
fourth n fifth was a month or more.

he stated in the hospital as well with all of them.
DeLaLi
by Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 11:39 AM

I do not think beyond a week or two is necessary especially since it is unpaid. We, females, get the disability, but men do not unless they are actually injured. It set us back just a tad, but luckily DH can do OT and gets paid weekly. 

Quoting Anonymous:

They are really talking a month or more. I know my dh has way too much responsibility. My dh works 365 days a year in some sort of capacity, vacations, whenever.


Quoting DeLaLi:

If the males are able to, I do not see/understand why they would not do it. My DH took off an entire week! It was not really considered paternity leave, but it was FMLA. It is pretty much the same anyway. Regardless, I think it is wonderful for a dad to do this and spend time with his newborn. 



CafeMom Tickers
sweetfox3
by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 3:39 PM

I think because it is (quietly) stigmatized.  Lower-level workers tend to look up to the higher level workers and managers to see what they do...and when the higher level workers and managers don't take parental leaves, then it kind of sets the tone for the rest of the company that taking the leave is not "acceptable."

(In some cases, the higher level workers have already had their families while they were young and poor and got PA, but worked their way up, and now their "babies" are in high school or something.)

If DH and I both worked, and we decided to have another baby, I'd want him to take a few days off when the baby was born/came home and then take the paternity leave itself when I go back to work.

lucille.bluth
by Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 3:40 PM

DH took his. He got 2 weeks each time. 

Marimaru
by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 4:05 PM

There are only a couple of states that actually give disability pay for maternity leave.  I live in one that does not.  For our first baby, we just arranged our finances that we could afford me to be off for 7 weeks, and then I went back to work part time (but from home, fortunately) for 6 months.  This time around I was prepared to use all of my paid time off (3 weeks) plus 5 weeks unpaid time off.  Lucky for me, my boss sprung on me that my maternity leave was going to be paid.

My husband both times to 2 weeks paid time off and 1 week unpaid.

Quoting DeLaLi:

I do not think beyond a week or two is necessary especially since it is unpaid. We, females, get the disability, but men do not unless they are actually injured. It set us back just a tad, but luckily DH can do OT and gets paid weekly. 

Quoting Anonymous:

They are really talking a month or more. I know my dh has way too much responsibility. My dh works 365 days a year in some sort of capacity, vacations, whenever.


Quoting DeLaLi:

If the males are able to, I do not see/understand why they would not do it. My DH took off an entire week! It was not really considered paternity leave, but it was FMLA. It is pretty much the same anyway. Regardless, I think it is wonderful for a dad to do this and spend time with his newborn. 





Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jun. 14, 2013 at 4:09 PM
We did too. I got 2 weeks paid and took a total of 12 weeks off and went back full time.


Quoting Marimaru:

There are only a couple of states that actually give disability pay for maternity leave.  I live in one that does not.  For our first baby, we just arranged our finances that we could afford me to be off for 7 weeks, and then I went back to work part time (but from home, fortunately) for 6 months.  This time around I was prepared to use all of my paid time off (3 weeks) plus 5 weeks unpaid time off.  Lucky for me, my boss sprung on me that my maternity leave was going to be paid.

My husband both times to 2 weeks paid time off and 1 week unpaid.


Quoting DeLaLi:

I do not think beyond a week or two is necessary especially since it is unpaid. We, females, get the disability, but men do not unless they are actually injured. It set us back just a tad, but luckily DH can do OT and gets paid weekly. 

Quoting Anonymous:

They are really talking a month or more. I know my dh has way too much responsibility. My dh works 365 days a year in some sort of capacity, vacations, whenever.





Quoting DeLaLi:

If the males are able to, I do not see/understand why they would not do it. My DH took off an entire week! It was not really considered paternity leave, but it was FMLA. It is pretty much the same anyway. Regardless, I think it is wonderful for a dad to do this and spend time with his newborn. 








Karopie_99
by Member on Jun. 15, 2013 at 3:53 PM
I ended up with an emergency csection with my last pregnancy and SO took 2 weeks off from work while I was in the hospital for 5 days. And helped at home till we started a groove in schedule again. With this baby most likely will end up in a csection. So he plans to take 2 weeks off. He gets 3 weeks paid vacation, 40hrs of sick time and 40 hours of personal time. Depending on how much time he has left when baby comes the end of october he will stay home for 3-4 weeks. He can go on leave but its unpaid and we can't afford that. He is secure in his job and noone is fighting to get it. And he is to valued in his position! When our 3rd baby was born he would get called from work asking questions because honestly they don't know how to funtion without him. And he hates taking time off unless he absolutely has to. Having a baby he doesn't even hesitate! With our last it was not a scheduled thing so work didn't even have notice to prepare for him being out. I wish more companys would offer dads time off atleast if anything, bonding time with the new baby. And if mom is having a hard time with pain and juggling and adjusting and whatnot. I think it woukd be a really good idea
NDADanceMom
by on Jun. 15, 2013 at 8:21 PM
My husband gets 2 weeks paid and he always takes it.
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