I'll try to keep this as short as possible. I found my father's number on my laptop that's a fews years old and I thought I lost it many years ago. I am debating whether to call that number to see if he is there.
Some background info is: 1) He left a long time ago due to my mother making him leave. He was NOT a bad father, just a little irresponsible. I was eight and we kept in touch until I was 10.
2) He never tried to see me after the few times he did come around to see me and hang out. He said it was because my mother made him stay away, which to me is 50% bull because a parent will fight for their child. Not necessarily to KEEP the child, but at least to see them every now and then. Even my grandparents think my mom drove him away.
3) Luckily around six years later I was able to get a number from my mom and I spoke to him. I guess I felt slightly odd speaking to him and I did not make too much of an effort after that. He made an effort only one time to call and he left a voice message. I really regret not keeping in touch, but as I previously stated I just felt pretty odd with the whole thing.
Now, fast forward 10 years, I am married, I am not the same religion anymore and I have a toddler. I feel maybe I should try calling and forget everything that happened before and start over so he can know what is going on, especially that he has a granddaughter. I am so conflicted by this!