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If you and your DH died, who would take care of your kids?

Posted by Anonymous
  • 48 Replies

After talking to my sister tonight, her friend had passed, and there was a lot of family drama surrounding who would take the kids. It got me thinking who would take care of my 3 sons if something happened to me or my DH? I think both of our parents are out, his are mid-60s and mine early 60s, I wouldn't want the burden of 3 young boys 7, 4, and 9 months. Possibly DH sister, my siblings are out (not that close to 2 of them and the other...well...we are polar opposites when it comes to parenting). Geez....doesn't leave me w/ much options....or a very close friend of DH and his wife, don't have children of their own (had chemo as a child) and they could financially support all 3. 

Who would you leave to take care of your kids and do you have legal documents...I.e. will to support that?

Posted by Anonymous on Jun. 22, 2013 at 8:23 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 22, 2013 at 8:42 PM
Ours are grown now but we had a will and dh's youngest sister and her husband would be guardians. We have a will regarding our assets.
by on Jun. 22, 2013 at 9:26 PM
My sister most likely.
by Carin on Jun. 23, 2013 at 12:17 AM
It's really a dilemma. Mothering wise, my SIL would be the best choice, she would take good care of him. The cons however is that she is religious (we're atheist) and at the moment, thinking of him being raised with that is hard for me to get past. I could probably deal with that if BIL (DH's brother) wasn't such a jerk. Our son is special needs and he has no tolerance for him at all, hasn't shown him any affection since he was a baby. He can be rather strict and overbearing and would think that the way to deal with any problem would be severe punishment. He makes it a deal breaker.

The other choice would be our niece. She has a couple of kids (BIL & SIL have a son a few months younger than mine--this niece is the daughter of DH's other brother), does have a good head on her shoulders, but I worry about the kind of commitment she'd be willing to make for him.

My friend, I would trust to take care of him, and she'd be the best as far as handling his needs, but I don't agree with her priorities (let's just leave it at that). DH doesn't want her because he doesn't know her that well (though I've known her much longer than I've known DH).

I just hope nothing happens to us.
by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 12:55 AM

My younger sister and her husband will be my childrens legal guardians to my children.

by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 1:10 AM
My aunt would take my kids
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by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 1:20 AM
My best friend who is also my son's godmother would be his legal guardian.
by Member on Jun. 23, 2013 at 3:12 AM

That's a good question.  I don't have a will, though now that I have a child it may be a good idea to figure something out.  I'd hope that my fiance's parents would raise our daughter since my dad isn't great with children, my only brother is a drug addict, my mom is a child rapist and in prison currently and the rest of my family I'm not very close with.  If his parents couldn't, then I'd hope his oldest sister would because we went through our pregnancies together and we're pretty close.  She's also a great mother to her son and is awesome with my daughter.

by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 4:32 AM
If I, myself unexpectely passed , my first son legally goes to his father, which would be a travesty, he would undo all the "work" I've put into him, however I have my wishes in legalese that my DH has gaurdianship over education and medical poa, plus my desire that he visits my DH at least five days per month ...shared holidays Christmas Eve with his dad and Christmas Day with DH and his brother. And a bunch of other stipulations.

Both of us? Mmm.... Same would apply re: first born except my mother would be guardian of aforementioned..... But um, we've not decided on the little bit. Probably, his good, value conscience friends. I am an only child.

He has a sister, but hell no. I love my in laws, but they've already had to raise a grandchild (remember that sister?)

My father is getting to lose his patience too fast ( it was always short). my mom took care of my alziemer's laden grandmother until she passed last year. I couldn't ask her to go back to taking full time care of a boy who is wired to test an adult. So I guess it would be my husband's good friend, his family are " solid" in family values.
by Anonymous 2 on Jun. 23, 2013 at 9:12 AM
There can be huge legal battles. It is really necessary to have a will. Dh's neighbor had a huge legal battle fighting for her 4 nephews and nieces. Her brother, sister in law and Mom were killed in a car accident. No will. She had to quit her job and fight so the kids wouldn't be split up. They had 3 kids of their own middle and grade school age. They won and got all 4 kids ages, 2, 4, 5 and 7.
by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 9:15 AM

My inlaws... They are 45ish... And they would LOVE to take DS... :)

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