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My 8-Year-Old Daughter Still Sees Her Dad Naked - Do yours?

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My 8-Year-Old Daughter Still Sees Her Dad Naked

by Jeanne Sager

naked feetYou know that look you get when you say something you thought was pretty normal, only they think you're bonkers? I got one of those looks recently. I had mentioned being embarrassed when my daughter threw open the bathroom door when we had company because she's so used to it being open.

When it's just the family at home, most doors are open in my house. It doesn't matter who is behind them or who is naked. My daughter has seen me naked. She has seen my husband naked.

Hold on, before you freak out, let me explain!

I wouldn't call us nudists. For the most part, everyone in the house is wearing their clothes pretty much all the time. The most "undressed" we get on a regular basis is sitting in shorts and a tank top (for me) or just a pair of shorts (my husband) on a hot summer's day. 

We don't get naked around our child on purpose.

But there are those moments when someone gets into the shower or out of the shower when you're completely naked and the child walks in, and you have to make a decision. Do I freak out? Do I grab wildly for the towel or t-shirt, making a big show of the fact that, OMG, I'm not wearing any clothes?

We don't.

We don't make a big deal out of being naked around our daughter. I don't and neither does my husband.

We don't want to draw attention to the fact that we're naked, but even more than that, we don't want it to seem scary or uncomfortable. We don't want her to think that bodies are "gross."

That's the message we send kids when we make a big deal out of being naked, isn't it? That there is something dirty about our bodies? Something secret?

I don't want my daughter to think bodies are dirty.

Secret? Well, we do make sure she's covered up in public, and we've had long, long talks about the right to say no and why private parts are "private."

But I grew up in a buttoned up household, where no one was ever naked. I also grew up with an eating disorder and to this day am extremely uncomfortable with my body. Even sitting in my own home, wearing clothes, I often move a blanket or a pillow onto my lap to add coverage, to help make myself disappear.

My husband and I don't want our daughter to feel that way, to feel that her body is something she needs to cover up even in the comfort of our own home.

This is why we've made nudity a non-issue.

We don't flaunt it. But we don't freak out over it either. If it happens, it happens, and we just go with the flow.

More From The Stir: My 8-Year-Old Daughter Uses the Public Men's Room to Pee

All over the Internet, there are sites where parents ask "when are kids too old to see their parents naked." The answers vary. Some parents never let it happen (seriously, the moms didn't even breastfeed). Some parents stop when a child can use anatomical language. Still others are still naked around their adult kids (THOSE I would call nudists).

I have read them all, and each time, I've come back to this: I'm raising a kid who is never afraid to tell me how she feels ... about anything. And she's never told me that it's wrong for her parents to be naked in her presence.

So how about you? Do your kids still see their parents naked?

by on Jun. 29, 2013 at 9:37 AM
Replies (21-30):
by Anonymous 7 on Jun. 29, 2013 at 5:58 PM
My youngest is 7 and she still sees us naked. My oldest are 17 and 13 and have passed the stage where we are not comfortable with it.
by Anonymous 8 on Jun. 29, 2013 at 6:05 PM
So what do you tell your dd when she saw Daddy naked for the first time? & asked what that.was?
by on Jun. 29, 2013 at 6:42 PM

My Daughter is 3 and she never saw us naked.

by on Jun. 30, 2013 at 1:41 PM

my dh is NOT the dad of my 7 and 9 year no..and their dad closes the bathroom door im pretty sure when they go over his ex walked around nude when they were dh will run to the bathjroom in his underwear when he gets up...b ut he goes back to the bedroom for pats right after..i will walk to my room nude after a shower if i dont bring clothes in w me..usually i dont..and the robes i have are for in 85-90 degrees i dont want to wear a heavy rob to my room. i dont want my gurls to be ashamed of their bodies either. im over weight and my 7 year old could stand to lose 15 pds or so...but they r fine w this i think. alot of time they forget their clothes/towels and walk nude out of the shower too. they get in trouble..but at least they are ok to do it..

BF mama to 4...Ivy-Rose 9 Arwinn 7 Lily-Anna 2 and Clara 10 months old. ~~~~~
by on Jun. 30, 2013 at 2:10 PM

they never saw him naked. They see me naked, I'm a woman and they have seen my upper parts but not my lowers.  I don't think they needed to be exposed and we are more modest.  To each their own but in this world even the most innocent is not expected to be just that.  Kids are exposed to too much and maybe way back in the day they would have learned a different way to view dad gardening or mowing naked but today it's just a bad thing and kids learn it from other people involved in their lives.  Too many others involved in our kids lives all the way to learning homework habits and treating their families.  I don't feel it's a good idea anymore to live like we did as kids or our grandparents did.  We are putting ourselves in jeopardy if social services is called. A hassle to be avoided easily. 

by Bronze Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 4:18 PM
No exhibitionist in our home
by on Jun. 30, 2013 at 4:52 PM
Not ok in our home..
by Bronze Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 6:07 PM

No.  And my girls have never seen my DH naked.  Literally, never!

by Anonymous 9 on Jun. 30, 2013 at 6:37 PM
My 3 sons have not seen me in the buff since they were about 2 years old. Teaching modesty isn't teaching that bodies are dirty. Geez louise. Get a grip.
by Member on Jun. 30, 2013 at 11:16 PM

Yes, my husband and i walk around naked and our children are 11yo boy and 14yo girl.  They have both seen all of our body parts, even to this day.  

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