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My 8-Year-Old Daughter Still Sees Her Dad Naked - Do yours?

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My 8-Year-Old Daughter Still Sees Her Dad Naked

by Jeanne Sager

naked feetYou know that look you get when you say something you thought was pretty normal, only they think you're bonkers? I got one of those looks recently. I had mentioned being embarrassed when my daughter threw open the bathroom door when we had company because she's so used to it being open.

When it's just the family at home, most doors are open in my house. It doesn't matter who is behind them or who is naked. My daughter has seen me naked. She has seen my husband naked.

Hold on, before you freak out, let me explain!

I wouldn't call us nudists. For the most part, everyone in the house is wearing their clothes pretty much all the time. The most "undressed" we get on a regular basis is sitting in shorts and a tank top (for me) or just a pair of shorts (my husband) on a hot summer's day. 

We don't get naked around our child on purpose.

But there are those moments when someone gets into the shower or out of the shower when you're completely naked and the child walks in, and you have to make a decision. Do I freak out? Do I grab wildly for the towel or t-shirt, making a big show of the fact that, OMG, I'm not wearing any clothes?

We don't.

We don't make a big deal out of being naked around our daughter. I don't and neither does my husband.

We don't want to draw attention to the fact that we're naked, but even more than that, we don't want it to seem scary or uncomfortable. We don't want her to think that bodies are "gross."

That's the message we send kids when we make a big deal out of being naked, isn't it? That there is something dirty about our bodies? Something secret?

I don't want my daughter to think bodies are dirty.

Secret? Well, we do make sure she's covered up in public, and we've had long, long talks about the right to say no and why private parts are "private."

But I grew up in a buttoned up household, where no one was ever naked. I also grew up with an eating disorder and to this day am extremely uncomfortable with my body. Even sitting in my own home, wearing clothes, I often move a blanket or a pillow onto my lap to add coverage, to help make myself disappear.

My husband and I don't want our daughter to feel that way, to feel that her body is something she needs to cover up even in the comfort of our own home.

This is why we've made nudity a non-issue.

We don't flaunt it. But we don't freak out over it either. If it happens, it happens, and we just go with the flow.

More From The Stir: My 8-Year-Old Daughter Uses the Public Men's Room to Pee

All over the Internet, there are sites where parents ask "when are kids too old to see their parents naked." The answers vary. Some parents never let it happen (seriously, the moms didn't even breastfeed). Some parents stop when a child can use anatomical language. Still others are still naked around their adult kids (THOSE I would call nudists).

I have read them all, and each time, I've come back to this: I'm raising a kid who is never afraid to tell me how she feels ... about anything. And she's never told me that it's wrong for her parents to be naked in her presence.

So how about you? Do your kids still see their parents naked?

by on Jun. 29, 2013 at 9:37 AM
Replies (31-40):
by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 7:00 AM

i don't see anything wrong with this my partner & i have a shower with our son all the time.

by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 7:52 AM
That's just gross! My DD is 5 and I am not ready for those questions!!! My DH locks doors when he is naked or getting out of the shower!

Quoting ajdahd13:

My girls see me naked but they have never seen DH naked. That's inappropriate.

by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 7:54 AM
But she does see me naked when I am home alone like getting dressed and happens to walk in but usually have a towel on me getting out of the shower. I don't flaunt it but if it happens it happens

Quoting littlejenny:

That's just gross! My DD is 5 and I am not ready for those questions!!! My DH locks doors when he is naked or getting out of the shower!

Quoting ajdahd13:

My girls see me naked but they have never seen DH naked. That's inappropriate.

by on Jul. 1, 2013 at 8:11 AM
My daughter is 7 and the only one she has seen withouut clothes is me and she don't like that, even if I have under clothes on she don't like it. Her dad never goes around without a shirt no matter how hot is outside, and if she has to change clothes she makes sure her door is shut before she changes becuase she don't want her daddy seeing her without clothing. She even has me close the door if her daddy is home while she is taking a bath or shower.

pink ribbonIn honor of my mom who is a survivor

by Anonymous 10 on Jul. 1, 2013 at 9:01 AM
1 mom liked this
Yup no issues here at all. Nudity is.normal IMO.
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:06 PM
My baby girl sees me naked, but I'm not worried about it. Sometime on a hot day we even get in the tub (it's really big) and play in the cool water naked. she has seen her daddy naked. We haven't made a big deal about it... But at this point he is at least trying to wear underwear in front of her. The other day when he was on the toilet though she pushed open the door and clapped for him. It was pretty funny.
by Member on Jul. 2, 2013 at 2:25 PM
My dd's have seen me change my clothes. My son hasn't seen me naked since he was a baby baby. My girls have never ever seen dad naked
by on Jul. 2, 2013 at 3:44 PM

My daughter has seen me naked.. it's not an issue but she hasn't seen my husband.  It makes him uncomfortable to think that she could.. he even gets uncomfortable changing her diaper.. For a while when we first lived together he wouldn't do it at all.. but now because he watches the girls when I'm at work, he does.. It's not as much as an issue for him as it used to be, but the chance of her seeing him naked aren't possible.  When she started opening doors throughout the house, he started to lock the door when he went to the bathroom or took a shower.  He's just uncomfortable about one of his 'baby girls' seeing the difference.. lol

by Anonymous 11 on Jul. 3, 2013 at 5:40 PM

umm im just going to say this, it soooo NOT okay for ur children to see there mommy and daddy naked (at least i think) i dont let my boys in the bathroom when we use it. my mother is like u guys who dont care and i flip out on her i dont like it and will not allow it but..i mean if other mommies r okay with it then by all means i just dont like it. 

by Anonymous 12 on Jul. 5, 2013 at 11:11 AM

 I don't like it.  My niece comes home from visits with her mom and her mom's bf and says he runs around naked.  That's not even a parent or step parent, that's just a creepy guy.  She is 5.

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