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not getting along with the other parent?

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 7:41 AM
  • 19 Replies

I understand how important it is to try and get along with the other parent but sometimes it's just not doable. My oldest sons father will yell and scream in the phone. He got mad at me because I don't agree with him. He says that things should be his way because he is the non custodial parent and that I should just do things his way and let him pick the way things are.

I told him no that things have to be compromised. He is the type of person who only likes you when you are doing it his way when your not then he yells and screams...Opinions on this behavior? 

by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 7:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mouthymandy
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 8:28 AM

I get a glimmering why you two are no longer together....I am so sorry.

Do I read it right that your son's father is the non-custodial parent and that you have legal custody?  If so, then you are empowered to make the final decisions.

There are some issues in which no compromises are possible.  If your boy needs to go to summer school, well then he goes to summer school regardless of plans for a vacation someplace.   Same with 14 y/o's having sleepovers with the opposite sex.

It takes two to get along.  So don't beat yourself up because he is yelling and screaming.

Ultimately, you might have to bring in social services but I hope it doesn't come to that.

God bless,

NDADanceMom
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 8:34 AM
She isn't with him. She posts here all the time with slight changes to her story hoping someone will feel bad for her. It boils down to this, she refuses visitation unless its her way. Like if he wants to return the boy at 9 she will refuse and say, "only overnight or back by 7"
She isn't worried about her kid. She worries about her schedule and sleeping, then blames the father for being controlling. She never ever ever listens to any advice. She only posts hoping to find people to agree with her, and only about 5% do. She ignores everyone else.


Quoting mouthymandy:

I get a glimmering why you two are no longer together....I am so sorry.

Do I read it right that your son's father is the non-custodial parent and that you have legal custody?  If so, then you are empowered to make the final decisions.

There are some issues in which no compromises are possible.  If your boy needs to go to summer school, well then he goes to summer school regardless of plans for a vacation someplace.   Same with 14 y/o's having sleepovers with the opposite sex.

It takes two to get along.  So don't beat yourself up because he is yelling and screaming.

Ultimately, you might have to bring in social services but I hope it doesn't come to that.

God bless,

mouthymandy
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:00 AM



Oh, dear!

I'll be candid with you:  I think your reply is out of line.

If you have "had it" with her, then I suggest that you do not bother yourself with her posts. I can appreciate that you think she is wasting my time and the time of others but that is our time to waste, if wasting time is what we are doing.

There is a constant stream of newcomers on this site.  The poster will always get a hearing.  And why not?  If she needs to make changes, then perhaps hearing the same replies will help her to realize she needs to make changes.

Your warning is clearly well meaning for me.  I thank you for that.  But I am not the only needy person.  Cut slack....especially for those who are most needy.

I hope I am not too offensive but my nick, Mouthymandy was applied by my fellow students.

God bless,

Quoting NDADanceMom:

She isn't with him. She posts here all the time with slight changes to her story hoping someone will feel bad for her. It boils down to this, she refuses visitation unless its her way. Like if he wants to return the boy at 9 she will refuse and say, "only overnight or back by 7"
She isn't worried about her kid. She worries about her schedule and sleeping, then blames the father for being controlling. She never ever ever listens to any advice. She only posts hoping to find people to agree with her, and only about 5% do. She ignores everyone else. 




NDADanceMom
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:03 AM
But would your advice be helpful if you don't know the whole story? You would just be feeding into her dysfunction.

Quoting mouthymandy:



Oh, dear!

I'll be candid with you:  I think your reply is out of line.

If you have "had it" with her, then I suggest that you do not bother yourself with her posts. I can appreciate that you think she is wasting my time and the time of others but that is our time to waste, if wasting time is what we are doing.

There is a constant stream of newcomers on this site.  The poster will always get a hearing.  And why not?  If she needs to make changes, then perhaps hearing the same replies will help her to realize she needs to make changes.

Your warning is clearly well meaning for me.  I thank you for that.  But I am not the only needy person.  Cut slack....especially for those who are most needy.

I hope I am not too offensive but my nick, Mouthymandy was applied by my fellow students.

God bless,


Quoting NDADanceMom:

She isn't with him. She posts here all the time with slight changes to her story hoping someone will feel bad for her. It boils down to this, she refuses visitation unless its her way. Like if he wants to return the boy at 9 she will refuse and say, "only overnight or back by 7"

She isn't worried about her kid. She worries about her schedule and sleeping, then blames the father for being controlling. She never ever ever listens to any advice. She only posts hoping to find people to agree with her, and only about 5% do. She ignores everyone else. 





mouthymandy
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:32 AM


I don't know the whole story with most every post and neither does anybody else who replies.  Still, there is the presumption that advice based upon a partial story might be helpful.

Granting your position that I am feeding into her dysfunction: to what extent am I perpetuating her difficulty in coping with her world?  I think it is truely hard to determine--though I cannot disallow the possibility that I am enabling rather than helping.

I could say myself that you are doing the poster a disservice and are frustrating the purpose of this forum by trying to cut-off a lifeline.  But I won't say it because that would be a grave exaggeration of my thoughts in this matter.

In any event, I will make my own decision whether to make additional replies to this post or to future ones.

Perhaps we can politely agree to disagree?

God bless

Quoting NDADanceMom:

But would your advice be helpful if you don't know the whole story? You would just be feeding into her dysfunction. 
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:35 AM
Not getting along F's up kids. You and your ex need to realize this.
notadramamama
by New Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:47 AM

 This same post is in another group...

marchantmom06
by Bronze Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:53 AM
Leave the man alone! You are clearly hung up on him.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:58 AM
Wow, she clearly doesn't care about her child.


Quoting NDADanceMom:

She isn't with him. She posts here all the time with slight changes to her story hoping someone will feel bad for her. It boils down to this, she refuses visitation unless its her way. Like if he wants to return the boy at 9 she will refuse and say, "only overnight or back by 7"

She isn't worried about her kid. She worries about her schedule and sleeping, then blames the father for being controlling. She never ever ever listens to any advice. She only posts hoping to find people to agree with her, and only about 5% do. She ignores everyone else.




Quoting mouthymandy:

I get a glimmering why you two are no longer together....I am so sorry.

Do I read it right that your son's father is the non-custodial parent and that you have legal custody?  If so, then you are empowered to make the final decisions.

There are some issues in which no compromises are possible.  If your boy needs to go to summer school, well then he goes to summer school regardless of plans for a vacation someplace.   Same with 14 y/o's having sleepovers with the opposite sex.

It takes two to get along.  So don't beat yourself up because he is yelling and screaming.

Ultimately, you might have to bring in social services but I hope it doesn't come to that.

God bless,


AAP1988
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 10:21 AM

I try to compromise with him. He wants everything his way and thats not co-parenting giving one parent all the power and decision making is not co-parenting. 


Quoting mouthymandy:

I get a glimmering why you two are no longer together....I am so sorry.

Do I read it right that your son's father is the non-custodial parent and that you have legal custody?  If so, then you are empowered to make the final decisions.

There are some issues in which no compromises are possible.  If your boy needs to go to summer school, well then he goes to summer school regardless of plans for a vacation someplace.   Same with 14 y/o's having sleepovers with the opposite sex.

It takes two to get along.  So don't beat yourself up because he is yelling and screaming.

Ultimately, you might have to bring in social services but I hope it doesn't come to that.

God bless,



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