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you have 4 grandkids..not just 1!!!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies
My oldest dd has always been the favorite with my dad..Now my other kids are starting to notice and that's not ok with me..
My dad has always taken my dd for outings like to the fair and things. That was ok because I worked and have 3 small children at home and because of the age gap between my oldest and 3 younger ones it was hard for me to find an activuty everyone would be pleased with.
Last yr I had to set my foot down and tell my dad to stop meddling. He had picked her up early frim school so many times without me knowing that I got a letter threatening family court due to my oldest having 19 tardies..I told him I was taking him off of the approved list of adults to pick her up..
Once I had grounded her and told her school and church were the only place she could go. She called her grandpa and snuck out of the house and he picked her up without me knowing. I was so furious I threatened to get him for kidnapping.
Today we get into it again..Everyone in our house has a summer cold. My oldest calls and tells her pa she's running a fever she can't swallow and she's throwing up...No she isn't..he texts me to get her ready he's taking her to ER..I of course refuse coz she lied about being that sick. He showed up at my house anyways to get her.
I am just so upset..at her and him. He won't let me parent my own child and she has learned to manipulate him.
Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 13, 2013 at 12:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 13, 2013 at 12:32 PM
You need to set him straight now. So sad he is like that. Also sad she knows she can manipulate him.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 13, 2013 at 4:21 PM
1 mom liked this

 it'll be hard but cut him out. next time he gets her with out your knowing call the cops. Something has do be done before it gets so much worse...

jlmc
by on Jul. 13, 2013 at 5:03 PM

How old is your daughter? If we are talking teenage years you are in for a rough time. If not then I would sit down with your dad and talk to him calmly, maybe he doesn't hear your concerns because the words get lost in the mix of the arguing. If your dad is old and doesn't have many years left it may be why he is ignoring you and doing what he wants but isn't going about it in the right way.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Jul. 13, 2013 at 7:27 PM
She is 10..going to be 11 in a few months. My SO says the same thing that if it continues we are in trouble but I have emailed, texted, and yelled until i am blue in the face. He just don't listen to me.
Part of the reason he acts this way is because my dd biodad chose to give up his rights. so my dad has been her father in a sense but its getting to be so stressful and he gets my sister involved when I tell him to stop picking her up.
Like yesterday he came to pick her up for her KungFu class..it lasts an hour. I told them both straight there straight back. They left at 10am got home at 6pm. didn't answer my calls or texts. I'm just fed up.


Quoting jlmc:

How old is your daughter? If we are talking teenage years you are in for a rough time. If not then I would sit down with your dad and talk to him calmly, maybe he doesn't hear your concerns because the words get lost in the mix of the arguing. If your dad is old and doesn't have many years left it may be why he is ignoring you and doing what he wants but isn't going about it in the right way.


PortiaRose
by Bronze Member on Jul. 13, 2013 at 7:35 PM
this is where you don't give a shit what other people have to say and set limits. no going with him to lunch or whatever, then seeing him for only a certain amount of time. it sounds cold but it will teach her to respect your time. both of them.

Quoting Anonymous:

She is 10..going to be 11 in a few months. My SO says the same thing that if it continues we are in trouble but I have emailed, texted, and yelled until i am blue in the face. He just don't listen to me.

Part of the reason he acts this way is because my dd biodad chose to give up his rights. so my dad has been her father in a sense but its getting to be so stressful and he gets my sister involved when I tell him to stop picking her up.

Like yesterday he came to pick her up for her KungFu class..it lasts an hour. I told them both straight there straight back. They left at 10am got home at 6pm. didn't answer my calls or texts. I'm just fed up.




Quoting jlmc:

How old is your daughter? If we are talking teenage years you are in for a rough time. If not then I would sit down with your dad and talk to him calmly, maybe he doesn't hear your concerns because the words get lost in the mix of the arguing. If your dad is old and doesn't have many years left it may be why he is ignoring you and doing what he wants but isn't going about it in the right way.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 14, 2013 at 7:15 AM
Your Dad is teaching your DD to disregard you. He's teaching her to ignore your directions and what you say. To remove her from school do many times so that she gets truancies is careless. To disappear for hours and ignore your texts & phone calls is ridiculous. Your Dad needs to be removed from any pick-up & drop-off duties & his named removed from the "approved" list at the school. And your DD needs to have any of her electronic devices taken away for a bit. If she can't use them properly (ie answer her mother's texts) she obliviously shouldnt have them.
Trabrooke
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 9:37 AM

You need to tell him to back off treat all of your kids the same or see  no one  feel so sorry for you 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 14, 2013 at 10:02 AM

I am trying to decide what is the best way to answer this one. I seriously love everyones answers all the time about Cut him out how would you feel if and when that happens to you? It Hurts trust me. Thats' not the route you want to go.

First I want to know if this happens to you when you get to be a grandparent how would you react? You are c lose to that one child . It's the same with us parents we love all of our kids equal but there just seems to be a place in our hearts more special for 1 of them.

Now, I can tell you my dad who is 72 does some of the same stuff although he wouldn't never take my 11 yr old out of school without 1st asking me.

He has a lot of grand kids and great grand kids from mine that are 35- just born greats.

Mine that is 11 is the special one. She will do things with him that others won't.They have had a special bond since she was born.

I can't take that away from him I have tried to tell him not to spoil her so bad since there are other kids but he doesn't listen I don't say anything anymore it's his money and he is old. I want her to remember him.

Now, I am not like that with my grandkids But, My daughter has recently gotten mad at me over something I have no idea what. She won't talk to me and I don't get to see my 3 grand kids. It's hard.

He is her grandpa. But, what I would do since she lied to him about being sick I would ground her for sure.

He wouldn't be manipulated if he didn't want to be. Someday, maybe he'll figure it out other wise what is the harm?

nurse1997
by Bronze Member on Jul. 15, 2013 at 7:00 PM

The relationship sounds weird !

kgsharber
by Bronze Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 2:06 AM

Take the phone and computer and block his number from your phone. Sever all access for a few months and show him you mean business.

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