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is he for real?

Posted by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 3:12 PM
  • 9 Replies

My ex texted me he told me that he is telling me that our son has to go over to his sisters (my sons aunts) house every day and that he demands it I told him no way. I told him if he wanted to come see his son everyday that is one thing but he is not demanding he is to go to his aunts every day. What you think? 

by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 3:12 PM
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Replies (1-9):
jobseeker
by Bronze Member on Jul. 15, 2013 at 3:49 PM

I don't understand, is this for child care or just to maintain a relationship.

sunflower37
by on Jul. 15, 2013 at 11:39 PM

Why would the little boy need to go over to his aunt house? Does the father has a house of his own?

AAP1988
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 6:19 AM

To maintain a relationship. 


Quoting jobseeker:

I don't understand, is this for child care or just to maintain a relationship.



jobseeker
by Bronze Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 9:55 AM


If he wants his son to go to aunt's house to maintain a relationship, my next questions are:

1-Would it create a hardship for your son to go to that house?  Is it someplace you have to drive out of your way to get to?  If that is the case, then I have a problem.  If she lives around the corner or on your way to a place you go regularly, then I don't see a reason he should not go regularly. Maybe not EVERYDAY, but for dinner once or twice a week.  

2-Will dad be there?  I mean I love my nephews and deices, but I don't necessarily wnat them over my place everyday if my siblings aren't going to be there, that would be free babysitting.

3-Lastly, does SHE want him there?  I can't see a someone wanting an extra child at her home EVERYDAY.

Ultimately, I think it's a good thing to have as many family members in their life who want to contribute to his upbringing, but the relationships should not be forced.  it is better for the children to be surrounded by loving hearts and words.  

Good luck.  I hope you find a good comprise. 

Quoting AAP1988:

To maintain a relationship. 


Quoting jobseeker:

I don't understand, is this for child care or just to maintain a relationship.





AAP1988
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 10:49 AM

I can see if he wants him to have a relationship with his aunt that is one thing. But going there everyday I don't find necessary. No his dad will not be there. 

1. I think it would be a hardship going there seven days a week. I don't find it necessary. I agree with maybe once a week that it a compromise. Also I don't drive due to a medical condition. I agree with once a week. No more than that.

2. No he will not be there.

3. She wants him there everyday but I don't think it's her decision she is not the parent.


But yes I did offer once a week. 


Quoting jobseeker:


If he wants his son to go to aunt's house to maintain a relationship, my next questions are:

1-Would it create a hardship for your son to go to that house?  Is it someplace you have to drive out of your way to get to?  If that is the case, then I have a problem.  If she lives around the corner or on your way to a place you go regularly, then I don't see a reason he should not go regularly. Maybe not EVERYDAY, but for dinner once or twice a week.  

2-Will dad be there?  I mean I love my nephews and deices, but I don't necessarily wnat them over my place everyday if my siblings aren't going to be there, that would be free babysitting.

3-Lastly, does SHE want him there?  I can't see a someone wanting an extra child at her home EVERYDAY.

Ultimately, I think it's a good thing to have as many family members in their life who want to contribute to his upbringing, but the relationships should not be forced.  it is better for the children to be surrounded by loving hearts and words.  

Good luck.  I hope you find a good comprise. 

Quoting AAP1988:

To maintain a relationship. 


Quoting jobseeker:

I don't understand, is this for child care or just to maintain a relationship.







fern624
by Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 11:49 AM

 

Quoting AAP1988:

I can see if he wants him to have a relationship with his aunt that is one thing. But going there everyday I don't find necessary. No his dad will not be there. 

1. I think it would be a hardship going there seven days a week. I don't find it necessary. I agree with maybe once a week that it a compromise. Also I don't drive due to a medical condition. I agree with once a week. No more than that.

2. No he will not be there.

3. She wants him there everyday but I don't think it's her decision she is not the parent.

 

But yes I did offer once a week. 

 

Quoting jobseeker:

 

If he wants his son to go to aunt's house to maintain a relationship, my next questions are:

1-Would it create a hardship for your son to go to that house?  Is it someplace you have to drive out of your way to get to?  If that is the case, then I have a problem.  If she lives around the corner or on your way to a place you go regularly, then I don't see a reason he should not go regularly. Maybe not EVERYDAY, but for dinner once or twice a week.  

2-Will dad be there?  I mean I love my nephews and deices, but I don't necessarily wnat them over my place everyday if my siblings aren't going to be there, that would be free babysitting.

3-Lastly, does SHE want him there?  I can't see a someone wanting an extra child at her home EVERYDAY.

Ultimately, I think it's a good thing to have as many family members in their life who want to contribute to his upbringing, but the relationships should not be forced.  it is better for the children to be surrounded by loving hearts and words.  

Good luck.  I hope you find a good comprise. 

Quoting AAP1988:

To maintain a relationship. 

 

Quoting jobseeker:

I don't understand, is this for child care or just to maintain a relationship.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 took the questions right out of my mouth so i had to quote you hope thats ok...

jobseeker
by Bronze Member on Jul. 16, 2013 at 2:08 PM


Then the next conversation is with Aunt.  I know that she is not the parent, but if father is not in town or is unable to be a constant in the child's life,then the family is the next best option in your child's having a relationship with him.  Remember that no matter how you feel about the father of your child, you DID choose him to parent with.  Now you have an extended family to embrace for the good of your child.  Unless the family becomes toxic or unsupportive of your child it is good to keep those channels open, or the day will come when you the child will begin to ask questions and show resentment.  Good luck!

Quoting AAP1988:

I can see if he wants him to have a relationship with his aunt that is one thing. But going there everyday I don't find necessary. No his dad will not be there. 

1. I think it would be a hardship going there seven days a week. I don't find it necessary. I agree with maybe once a week that it a compromise. Also I don't drive due to a medical condition. I agree with once a week. No more than that.

2. No he will not be there.

3. She wants him there everyday but I don't think it's her decision she is not the parent.


But yes I did offer once a week. 


Quoting jobseeker:


If he wants his son to go to aunt's house to maintain a relationship, my next questions are:

1-Would it create a hardship for your son to go to that house?  Is it someplace you have to drive out of your way to get to?  If that is the case, then I have a problem.  If she lives around the corner or on your way to a place you go regularly, then I don't see a reason he should not go regularly. Maybe not EVERYDAY, but for dinner once or twice a week.  

2-Will dad be there?  I mean I love my nephews and deices, but I don't necessarily wnat them over my place everyday if my siblings aren't going to be there, that would be free babysitting.

3-Lastly, does SHE want him there?  I can't see a someone wanting an extra child at her home EVERYDAY.

Ultimately, I think it's a good thing to have as many family members in their life who want to contribute to his upbringing, but the relationships should not be forced.  it is better for the children to be surrounded by loving hearts and words.  

Good luck.  I hope you find a good comprise. 

Quoting AAP1988:

To maintain a relationship. 


Quoting jobseeker:

I don't understand, is this for child care or just to maintain a relationship.









Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Jul. 16, 2013 at 3:57 PM
if im not mistaken i do not think there are aunt/uncle rights like there use to be grandparents rights some states done away with that to now if you ex has court ordered visitation unless its stipulated to be at your house your ex can take him where he wants
AAP1988
by on Jul. 16, 2013 at 4:26 PM
1 mom liked this


Thats why I agree with once a week he can visit his aunt. Everyday during the week is not necessary 

Quoting jobseeker:


Then the next conversation is with Aunt.  I know that she is not the parent, but if father is not in town or is unable to be a constant in the child's life,then the family is the next best option in your child's having a relationship with him.  Remember that no matter how you feel about the father of your child, you DID choose him to parent with.  Now you have an extended family to embrace for the good of your child.  Unless the family becomes toxic or unsupportive of your child it is good to keep those channels open, or the day will come when you the child will begin to ask questions and show resentment.  Good luck!

Quoting AAP1988:

I can see if he wants him to have a relationship with his aunt that is one thing. But going there everyday I don't find necessary. No his dad will not be there. 

1. I think it would be a hardship going there seven days a week. I don't find it necessary. I agree with maybe once a week that it a compromise. Also I don't drive due to a medical condition. I agree with once a week. No more than that.

2. No he will not be there.

3. She wants him there everyday but I don't think it's her decision she is not the parent.


But yes I did offer once a week. 


Quoting jobseeker:


If he wants his son to go to aunt's house to maintain a relationship, my next questions are:

1-Would it create a hardship for your son to go to that house?  Is it someplace you have to drive out of your way to get to?  If that is the case, then I have a problem.  If she lives around the corner or on your way to a place you go regularly, then I don't see a reason he should not go regularly. Maybe not EVERYDAY, but for dinner once or twice a week.  

2-Will dad be there?  I mean I love my nephews and deices, but I don't necessarily wnat them over my place everyday if my siblings aren't going to be there, that would be free babysitting.

3-Lastly, does SHE want him there?  I can't see a someone wanting an extra child at her home EVERYDAY.

Ultimately, I think it's a good thing to have as many family members in their life who want to contribute to his upbringing, but the relationships should not be forced.  it is better for the children to be surrounded by loving hearts and words.  

Good luck.  I hope you find a good comprise. 

Quoting AAP1988:

To maintain a relationship. 


Quoting jobseeker:

I don't understand, is this for child care or just to maintain a relationship.











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