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I must be a horrible mother for keeping track of my children!!! ETA

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I went to the pool with my 2 and 4 year old by myself for the first time.  A little bit about them - They dont listen ever,  I hate going anywhere by myself with them because it ends up being stressful and not fun.  My 4 year old likes to take off and go wherever she wants regardless of what you say and if you try to explain she screams.  (I do discipline for this - time outs taking toys away, and yes spanking  etc.  I keep doing it even though it doesn't work). 

Well, we were leaving the pool and I called out to my 4 year old several times before she got out of the pool, in the locker room I had to say her name several time and loudly because sometimes she is like a wall and ignores me completely.  I called out one time loudly because I couldn't see her (like I said she likes to take off and keep in mind I have a 2 year old with me as well)  She finally ansered me and I told her to come back to me and STAY BY ME in a FIRM voice (I didn't consider it yelling).  Also, my children are loud anyway, we used to live in them iddle of nowhere with no neighbors so loudness didn't matter at least at home. 

This lady was walking out, and she looks at me and says "that is way too much yelling, really, there are other people here"  OK, so I must be a horrible mother because I am calling out to my kids to make sure they are near!!!  REALLY!!  I am so confused as to why she thought too much yelling, me disciplining to keep my 4 year old near me or my kids yelling because they are having fun?  Which one?  I am still confused and just REALLY need to vent. 

What is your take?

ETA - I am getting a lot of responses about not yelling.  As I said above.  I was CALLING out to my 4 year old and I used a FIRM  voice.  I was NOT yelliing, hence why I am confused.  Yelling to me is with anger and screaming so loud you lose your voice.  That is yelling.  I had no anger and I was being very FIRM in what I expected of her. 

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 18, 2013 at 8:27 AM
Replies (31-40):
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 4:52 AM

when i am REALLY REALLY mad i get very quiet. scares the crap outta my kids. if they are used to loud voices then yup they prolly ignore you. borrow MY mad voice... very quiet, very strict, very pissy. worth a shot. (and ps, we're a loud family too. somebody's always loud around here, i don't even notice it any more. which maybe is why the quiet pissy momma creeps em out!) heh!

by Anonymous 10 on Jul. 19, 2013 at 6:43 AM

Why would you give one single little fuck about what this lady said?

I would probably have said-Clearly you missed the little rule that told you to mind your own business-Bless your heart (Southernese for fuck you)

by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 6:59 AM
In this case I don't think that you were yelling if your child does not respon the second time walk to her and bring her back. I work in day care and I have schoolage kids between 5 &12 and they behave that way also . I have 25 of them.
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 8:31 AM
1 mom liked this

That is a kinda dangerous situation, with their ages and water and disobedience involved. I'm going to suggest you call your daughter twice only and then spank her if she hasn't complied. She must learn to come when called. If there are no consequences for her ignoring you then she won't listen unless she wants to. I tell my 7-yr old son, if you can't obey me at home, I'm not taking you out in public. I'm calling you to keep you safe. Disobedience can get you killed. I also think you were brave to give them pool time by yourself, and it sounds stressful. That stress might show up in your voice and that woman must have recognized it. It sounds as if she is in a different station in life, and has no young kids. That said, lots of folks never know how to mind their own business. It is always the ones who are not parents, who have the most parenting advice. My sister once told me that her children will never eat tinned meat or nuggets or hotdogs and that I feed mine junk. I just looked at her, because she has no kids, and she doesn't know that a picky kid could die on you if you can't bend the rules a little. It's not like that's all my kids eat. So anyway, continue being the good mom you are, try to get the disobedience under control, and take mini breaks for yourself often. We need those to keep our sanity. Good luck! Eve 

by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 9:17 AM
3 moms liked this

 I think its easy for others to read this and tell you you are doing a bad job parenting, to them I say " oh how nice it must be to be all knowing ". Its obvious to me that you were just calling out to her, I would have done the same. Yelling is WAY DIFFERENT than calling out to your child. Some people just think they have it all together and its so damn easy to deal with 2 little ones. I will agree that maybe you need to try something different but I have no clue what that would be so Im not much help there. Im sorry you are catching heat from some of these perfect parents and I wish you good luck.

by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 12:14 PM
1 mom liked this

 My take is if she was worried about yelling she should not have been at a public pool, she sounds like one of those that no matter what they are going to complain. EX she said you were yelling but if it wasn't that she would have complained you were letting the kids run wild.

I just ignore people like that I am the one who decides how to raise my son not some complete stranger.

by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 1:01 PM

Some people just like to get in other people's business.  She may have been one of those people.  If others are saying you yell too much also, then you may want to look at your own behavior. 

by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 4:42 PM
1 mom liked this
Positive discipline! My four year old daughter was/is batshit insane sometimes and it's really improved our lives. it's a work in progress still.
by Anonymous 11 on Jul. 19, 2013 at 5:40 PM

Yelling. And if spanking doesn't work why are you continuing that approach to discipline?

by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 6:21 PM

I would never take my kids to the pool if they didnt listen to me...there are way to many kids there!

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