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The Cafe The Cafe

not sure my baby loves me ......

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 9:42 PM
  • 11 Replies
My youngest son is 13 months . Ive worked full time since he was 6 months . Im very luck to have the lady who keeps my boys. She loves them as her own & is like a grandmother to them but my youngest son doesn't want to come home when I go to pick him up.
He cries when I reach for him .
Reaches for her.
Then cries for at least 5 min after we pull out of the drive.. . ..
Now I know im lucky to have someone take such good
care of him but its pulling my heart out.
Its almost like he just cant wait to get back there when he is home .
I play and snuggle him every night but he doesn't really snuggle me back :( He is healthy & seems happy . Just doesn't really seem to care for me :(
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 9:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
nurse1997
by Silver Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 10:07 PM

It's very possiable he has a stronger bond with her maybe you can cut your hours at work good luck ! 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 26, 2013 at 12:35 AM

Of course he has a stronger bond with her. That's who is raising him for the most part. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you it's just who he's with the most and has connected with. 

srehman
by Bronze Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 9:06 AM
I understand working is hard. Is he ur only one? Either way just try to have some one in one time with him. You and him go to the park, or get ice cream,'etc. anyway, he just may have more fun at her house bc he is with her, I
Don't think it's "he doesn't life me" stuff. But good luck.
GertieK
by Silver Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 10:40 AM

Are you working because you have to or because it allows the family the extras?  If it is because you have to, as in there is no way to figure out how to be home more, you might could find a job that allows you to work at night while they are sleeping... or cut your hours.  If it is for the extras, I would ask myself if it is worth the price.  How many kids do you have?   

BabyBearsMom608
by New Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 10:42 PM
I do have a 5 year old as well. I got to stay home with him more while I finished school. Now im working to pay off my student loans ......... all 50k worth.
BabyBearsMom608
by New Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 10:44 PM
Definitely need more 1 on 1 time with him.
Thanks for your reply and understanding .

I would love to stay home but that's not an option right now .



Quoting srehman:

I understand working is hard. Is he ur only one? Either way just try to have some one in one time with him. You and him go to the park, or get ice cream,'etc. anyway, he just may have more fun at her house bc he is with her, I

Don't think it's "he doesn't life me" stuff. But good luck.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 26, 2013 at 11:54 PM

I am so sorry you are going through this. This is the result of a baby's need to attach to at least one secure attachment figure in order to develop healthily.  They of course can't help who they attach to, and it is unfortunately natural that your baby is attaching to someone who they are with for so many hours a day.  Please understand this isn't about your baby "loving" you or not.  A baby just seeks securtiy and this is a very difficult age.  Separation/stranger anxiety can be quite extreme from 9 months or so on for quite a while.  If you keep loving your baby and treating him with all kinds of compassion and care and love, it is likely he will come around.  If you can spend more time with him, this will definitely help as his attachment to you will increase.  Some moms have to work.  some don't.  Some need to work . some don't.  So please do whatever you can within your capacity to keep loving connections open with your baby.  Lots of love, lots of nurturing, lots of cuddling, etc.  If you continue to struggle there are mental health specialists who specifically treat infants and young children who will be able to help you learn some specific techniques and modalities for increasing your baby's attachment to you.  YOu are a good mom.  You are noticing this. That is the first step!!! Hugs Momma!!!

moonlight311
by on Jul. 27, 2013 at 4:32 PM

She is with him more...what did you expect? If you want a strong bond you need to spend more time with him.Thats being a real mom.

BabyBearsMom608
by New Member on Jul. 27, 2013 at 5:13 PM
So im not being a real mom because I have to work ???? Thats BS !


Quoting moonlight311:

She is with him more...what did you expect? If you want a strong bond you need to spend more time with him.Thats being a real mom.


lovemymini
by Member on Jul. 27, 2013 at 5:17 PM

Kids attach to the person that cares for them the most.  It's normal for him to have a strong bond with the caregiver since you are not there. At what age did he start going there

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