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can i mourn this loss even if it was because of me?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

i am getting a tattoo to honor my kids-a fancy heart with their  initials in it.  I want two smaller hearts on the outside.  One for a miscarriage I had a few years ago, and the other for an abortion I had when I was 15.  My DH says I should only get 1 smaller heart because the second was my choice!  It was a choice I made a long time ago and it was the hardest thing ever but I still think about it almost daily.  At the time I thought I was doing the right thing (and maybe I did).  Do you think it is in poor taste to go this route?  i just wanted something to honor all of my kids (born or not)!!


***edit***

the tattoo i was planning has alot of scrollwork on the big heart and the little hearts would come out of the scrollwork so they would look like they are just part of the "main" tattoo.  no one would ever know those smaller hearts symbolized anything unless I told them.  The tattoo would be at the top of my leg so no one would see it unless i show them or when i am wearing a bathing suit.

thanks for the support--makes me feel better knowing there are people who understand--i just wanted the tattoo for me!

Posted by Anonymous on Jul. 26, 2013 at 10:36 AM
Replies (11-20):
bellygirl
by Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 4:03 PM

To answer your question, I do think it's in poor taste.  However if it's just for you and no one else is going to know what the heart represents, go for it.  It's unfortunate that at 15, you had to make such a HUGE decision; not knowing how it would affect the rest of your life. A question, was the pregnancy at 15 by your current husband?  

polkaspots
by Bronze Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 4:09 PM
1 mom liked this
I would ask him to refrain from saying that ever again.
It's a tattoo, it's something you are putting on your body to make yourself happy/express yourself. If you want to put a heart the two unborns you lost, then you should. I'm sure those were two extremely painful and emotional times regardless of what caused them.

Honestly, if you wanted a tattoo to represent the type of muffin you had for breakfast that would be okay too. It's your body and you can tattoo it however you like. To me that's why people get tattoos, for their own personal reasons.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Ms_mom_81
by Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 6:08 PM

I think it is completely your decision. If that would make you happy to remember both then do it.

nurse1997
by Bronze Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 9:59 PM

Lady give me a break she choose to have sex she also choose to abort her baby she took the easy way out 15 or not she made her choice -When you deal with parents losing there babies for medical reasons,shootings,abuse than you come talk to me !!!

I hope you aren't really a nurse as you sit here and judge a person's mental health.

Quoting nurse1997:

THIS IS GROSS SORRY POOR TASTE ALL ALROUND ON THIS SUBJECT ! 


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 26, 2013 at 10:03 PM

So, NOW you feel bad for killing a baby and want to honor it, NOW .......... Yeah sorry but i think thats rather disturbing. But its your body, your tattoo. But realize you either will need to keep it quite that the one is for the baby you killed, or be prepared to have people react not kindly to it. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 26, 2013 at 10:07 PM

She choose spread her legs..... Oh but let me guess the sob story will be she was raped and had been molested all her life, as is with all stories here on CM tend to play out. Or probably she just had sex and never thought a thing about having a baby........ 

Quoting Anonymous:

I hope you aren't really a nurse as you sit here and judge a person's mental health.

Quoting nurse1997:

THIS IS GROSS SORRY POOR TASTE ALL ALROUND ON THIS SUBJECT ! 


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 26, 2013 at 10:12 PM
1 mom liked this

Being that you aren't in the OP's shoes and never have been, you don't know why she chose and abortion. Hopefully, you are never placed in a predicament where you are forced to choose something you are not quite okay with. Depending on how long ago she was 15 HER PARENTS may have made the choice for her.

Quoting Anonymous:

She choose spread her legs..... Oh but let me guess the sob story will be she was raped and had been molested all her life, as is with all stories here on CM tend to play out. Or probably she just had sex and never thought a thing about having a baby........ 

Quoting Anonymous:

I hope you aren't really a nurse as you sit here and judge a person's mental health.

Quoting nurse1997:

THIS IS GROSS SORRY POOR TASTE ALL ALROUND ON THIS SUBJECT ! 



KGreen75
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 10:14 PM
Do you regret the abortion?
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jul. 26, 2013 at 10:15 PM
1 mom liked this

While she says she made the choice, at 15 it is likely a "choice" made at her parents insistence. You're a fucking dick. I have dealt with mental health issues. I am a therapist. 

Quoting nurse1997:

Lady give me a break she choose to have sex she also choose to abort her baby she took the easy way out 15 or not she made her choice -When you deal with parents losing there babies for medical reasons,shootings,abuse than you come talk to me !!!

I hope you aren't really a nurse as you sit here and judge a person's mental health.

Quoting nurse1997:

THIS IS GROSS SORRY POOR TASTE ALL ALROUND ON THIS SUBJECT ! 




EmilysMom2010
by Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 10:35 PM
1 mom liked this
I think a tattoo is such a big part of you it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks. I think it is very insensitive of your husband to judge your decision of what the tattoo symbolizes. If it is something meaningful to YOU then you should do it. He has nothing to do with how you feel in your skin. I think it is a wonderful idea.
I ❤ it!
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