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Do i have to... More info, opinions?

Posted by on Aug. 4, 2013 at 7:20 PM
  • 22 Replies
My sd just had a baby, do I have to refer to myself as step-grandma or can I be grandma? My dh says I'm grandma, but I'm not sure if I have to use the step! Lol

More info... sd's dad and I got married 10 years ago. We haven't had much of a relationship for the past 4 years. She lives 900 miles away, we've never had the money to go down there, and ex's had a job so she couldn't come here. Its always been in my dh's hands to keep a relationship, I pushed it for years and it just caused fights. SD is now 20 and my dd is 13, ask either of them and they are sisters, so I'm happy about that, I just wish I knew where I stand. I dont want to ask her, I just don't feel right doing that. Dh should, but won't, he just says I'm grandma... Also I'm 33 dh is 45 so I feel too young! Lol
We want a close relationship with her now more than ever, so I know I will be playing a big role in their lives. We are even thinking about moving!
by on Aug. 4, 2013 at 7:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Bronze Member on Aug. 4, 2013 at 7:27 PM
How long have you been married to her father? How old is she? What is her relationship like with you? How old are you?
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by Anonymous 1 on Aug. 4, 2013 at 7:28 PM
Most people I know refer to you as grandma. The kid acts that way.
My mom remarried after my Dad died. My girls called him Harry most of the time because I did. Sometimes grandpa Harry. He was special to my girls. He has passed away now.
by on Aug. 4, 2013 at 7:48 PM

 I think it all depends on what you and your sd are comfortable with.  I'd go with grandma since kids can have more than one grandma! Congratulations too.

by Anonymous 2 on Aug. 4, 2013 at 8:01 PM

Ask your sd what she prefers,

by on Aug. 4, 2013 at 8:08 PM
by Anonymous 3 on Aug. 5, 2013 at 12:26 AM
1 mom liked this
My dad remarried and my step mom will never be anything other than Grandma to them. I refer to her as Grandma to my kids but now I call her by name. If my brothers and I ever need anything we don't go to my dad and ask we go to my step mom. When my daughter says she wants something (lately its another fish) both my dad and I tell her to ask Grandma. If you are like her your not going any where and it doesn't matter that your blood does not flow through that grandbaby's vein. The old saying is blood is thicker than water but now days that is not true. I have a sister that does not have my blood but no one will ever tell me she is not my sister. I have been in her life since she was my daughter's age and she has helped me raise my 2 kids. To me if you earn the title Grandma than no step is needed. That is coming from a step daughter.
by on Aug. 5, 2013 at 12:29 AM

My  kids call my moms husband "jim" we dont see him as grandpa.  He nice, treats them like a grandpa, my kids like him.  I think its more because I dont think of him as a dad.  I was in my 30s when they got married.  Its not like he raised me. 

by on Aug. 5, 2013 at 12:30 AM

I think it depends on your relationship with sd.

by on Aug. 5, 2013 at 3:40 PM
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I'd stick with Grandma, Nana, or whatever the baby comes up with.It will be great, trust me.

by on Aug. 5, 2013 at 4:35 PM

I'd leave that up to your step daughter.  What does she want the kids to call you? (Hopefully it won't be by your first name)

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