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I need another parent not...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 8 Replies

another kid!!!

My DH complains because he works so much that he is allowed to play with our children instead of disiplining, which makes my job harder because they then dont listen to me. 

What to do?  I have tried talking to him and it doesn't get into his head. 

Thanks for letting me vent!!! 

Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 4, 2013 at 8:23 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Aslen
by Bronze Member on Aug. 4, 2013 at 8:25 PM
1 mom liked this
My only advice? Go on strike.
It took two to make those kids; it takes two to raise them
lucky2Beeme
by Silver Member on Aug. 4, 2013 at 8:28 PM

  Talk to him and have some fact to show him how important it is for you both to be on the same page while raising kids.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Aug. 4, 2013 at 8:28 PM
1 mom liked this
Kids who's parents are their friends end up being train wrecks.
bhow
by Bronze Member on Aug. 5, 2013 at 9:51 AM

I had the same problem at one point and time.  Things got pretty ugly around here for awhile when I just could not take any more of it.  He and our oldest daughter would make fun of me with him being the leader.  That's just the tip of the iceberg.  There is a whole lot of other crap in there but I am not going there.  Let's just say sometimes a desperate situation takes desperate measures, and I was desperate.  That was close to 5 years ago and things have been pretty darn good around here for more than 3 years now.  Once I got them all to see that I was NOT to be abused and used any more and that HE HAD NO choice if he wanted this marriage to last.  12 years of crap was way too long, I was cracking up.  Good Luck.  I hope for your sake he is not as hard headed as mine can be.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 5, 2013 at 9:56 AM

 Yeah they don't tease me or anything like that.  He just doesn't discipline. He won't tell them no, so gives them whatever.  He plays with them ALL the time.  I play with them too, but i correct their behavior.  He just lets them pretty much do whatever because " they are kids, let them be kids" attitude.  It is really annoying when I am trying to parent and I am the only one correcting their behavior. 

He is also just as messy as they are and I have an extra kid to clean up when he is home.  LOL  He will pick up after himself, but not all the way.  For example he will go get a tool and use it,  the next day I go into the garage and tools are spread out everywhere because he was looking for a tool and didn't put everything back - just annoying.  LOL


Quoting bhow:

I had the same problem at one point and time.  Things got pretty ugly around here for awhile when I just could not take any more of it.  He and our oldest daughter would make fun of me with him being the leader.  That's just the tip of the iceberg.  There is a whole lot of other crap in there but I am not going there.  Let's just say sometimes a desperate situation takes desperate measures, and I was desperate.  That was close to 5 years ago and things have been pretty darn good around here for more than 3 years now.  Once I got them all to see that I was NOT to be abused and used any more and that HE HAD NO choice if he wanted this marriage to last.  12 years of crap was way too long, I was cracking up.  Good Luck.  I hope for your sake he is not as hard headed as mine can be.


 

zeesmuse
by Bronze Member on Aug. 5, 2013 at 12:05 PM

These.children.have.TWO.parents...not.one.parent.and.an.additional.playmate...

nova.mommy
by Bronze Member on Aug. 5, 2013 at 12:11 PM

Disipline does not equal no play.  

If they need it tell them both they need a time out, away from esch other.  DH will play games on the computer with DS, but he will disipline and will back me up when the time comes, whether he was home or not.

Mspearly
by on Aug. 5, 2013 at 1:53 PM
1 mom liked this

I now quote what my mom said to us when we were growing, didn't make sense to me then but it does now. " it hurts me more than it hurts you."  Disciplining is tough, and we hate to see tears in their eyes, but they get over it in minutes, yes, we all feel like broken records repeating ourselves over and over. DH is doing damage to your babies, play time is play time but we all need limits! 

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