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is this cheating and what would you do?

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I am seeing this guy that i really like and care about. A few days ago I saw some texts from this girl he was flirting with and telling her he loves her and how they want to be together forever. He said I shouldn't have looked. We decided to stay together and make it work. Should I give up...or in some cases should you try to make it work?

by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 3:45 PM
Replies (11-20):
momofthem311
by Bronze Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 10:46 AM
3 moms liked this
I don't know the history of this OP and her past posts but I think it's really sad and immature to take joy in others misfortunes, even if she brought it upon herself, it doesn't matter. So what if she posts a million times about an ex. No one is forcing any of you to read them or comment. I don't know who's worse, people that create their own drama, or the ones who take joy in watching it happen.

I wonder if some of you act like this in your real lives.
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lilbit53009
by on Aug. 16, 2013 at 10:47 AM

if he loves someone else and wants to be with them forever...i don't understand why he would even want to make it work with you?

sounds like it's time to move on before you invest more time

NDADanceMom
by on Aug. 16, 2013 at 12:27 PM


Quoting momofthem311:

I don't know the history of this OP and her past posts but I think it's really sad and immature to take joy in others misfortunes, even if she brought it upon herself, it doesn't matter. So what if she posts a million times about an ex. No one is forcing any of you to read them or comment. I don't know who's worse, people that create their own drama, or the ones who take joy in watching it happen.

I wonder if some of you act like this in your real lives.

To answer your question, yes.  I am like this in real life.  For example one of the dance moms on my daughters team was doing things that made dance unpleasant for everyone.  Gossiping, starting trouble, always needing rides and other favors.  

It all came home when  she crossed a line (threatened a high school aged dancer with a gun on facebook) and the family was asked to leave the studio and never return.  (the daughter was also making threats on facebook to the same girl.)

Its been 6 months and we still talk about how she deserved it and brought it on herself.  I would say joy is over estimating my emotion over it.  Im not shocked, but I neither feel sorry for her or am happy that she is being treated bad.  Ive suggested to her before she needs help.  Staying with a man who loves someone else is another sign she needs help but she wont, so I dont really care anymore.  She can live in the mess she created. 

momofthem311
by Bronze Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 12:41 PM

 


Quoting NDADanceMom:


Quoting momofthem311:

I don't know the history of this OP and her past posts but I think it's really sad and immature to take joy in others misfortunes, even if she brought it upon herself, it doesn't matter. So what if she posts a million times about an ex. No one is forcing any of you to read them or comment. I don't know who's worse, people that create their own drama, or the ones who take joy in watching it happen.

I wonder if some of you act like this in your real lives.

To answer your question, yes.  I am like this in real life.  For example one of the dance moms on my daughters team was doing things that made dance unpleasant for everyone.  Gossiping, starting trouble, always needing rides and other favors.  

It all came home when  she crossed a line (threatened a high school aged dancer with a gun on facebook) and the family was asked to leave the studio and never return.  (the daughter was also making threats on facebook to the same girl.)

Its been 6 months and we still talk about how she deserved it and brought it on herself.  I would say joy is over estimating my emotion over it.  Im not shocked, but I neither feel sorry for her or am happy that she is being treated bad.  Ive suggested to her before she needs help.  Staying with a man who loves someone else is another sign she needs help but she wont, so I dont really care anymore.  She can live in the mess she created

You are 100% correct when you say she can live in the mess she created. Some people do that to themselves. They havent been taught much in life or ever had any kind of positive influence or guidance and they just keep living the same cycle of their parents and other family members. And sometimes they are just messed up in the head.

My only point was that the reply saying. "HAHAHAHAHA KARMA", although maybe true, was just not necessary. I have been guilty of saying things that arent needed and I think that as women we should try and keep the ugly negativity to a minimum. I'd like to think that I am not teaching that sort of behaviour to my daughter and I am sure you and other moms wouldnt want your kids to act that way either.

Basically, we all think certain things, thats just human nature, but we dont always need to say them.

 

Germany72
by on Aug. 16, 2013 at 12:42 PM



Quoting AAP1988:

I am seeing this guy that i really like and care about. A few days ago I saw some texts from this girl he was flirting with and telling her he loves her and how they want to be together forever. He said I shouldn't have looked. We decided to stay together and make it work. Should I give up...or in some cases should you try to make it work?


are you seriously asking if this is cheating?????????????????? 

Ali5683
by Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 1:29 PM

If you're not married then why even care about saving the relationship? I would leave.

Also, my definition of cheating is anything you're doing behind your partners back that they would feel uncomfortable with. Everyone feels differently about certain things. While I feel that looking at porn and going to strip clubs is cheating, another relationship wouldn't feel the same way. If you are in a relationship with this guy and he is flirting with other women and you're uncomfortable with it, then he's cheating. If you're not married, leave and find someone who will respect you and a relationship.

HunnyBabie
by Bronze Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 2:53 PM

It sounds like you think you're the other woman.  That is something I will NEVER be.  I have been cheated on, but I would NEVER knowingly be the one helping a man cheat on his woman!

But that's just me.

*shrugs

smh

HunnyBabie
by Bronze Member on Aug. 16, 2013 at 2:58 PM
1 mom liked this

This.


Quoting momofthem311:

I don't know the history of this OP and her past posts but I think it's really sad and immature to take joy in others misfortunes, even if she brought it upon herself, it doesn't matter. So what if she posts a million times about an ex. No one is forcing any of you to read them or comment. I don't know who's worse, people that create their own drama, or the ones who take joy in watching it happen.

I wonder if some of you act like this in your real lives.

@ momofthem311: I worry two things: 1. that CMers are the same IRL as they are on here and 2. that hiding behind their computer screens magnifies their perception of just how big their brass balls are.  Being a prissy bully isn't smiled upon in the real world, but they think they can get away with it online b/c no one knows who they are.  Bullies are bullies and whether they say these kinds of things in front of ppl IRL or whether they bully them behind their backs, I'm guessing that they spend so much time on CM b/c they don't have real life friends to spend that time with and I'm guessing that would be b/c THEY'RE BULLIES!!!

Good call momofthem311!!!


abecee
by on Aug. 16, 2013 at 5:57 PM

You have trust issues and he is not ready for commitment. This relationship won't be successful.

Mom2Aubriella
by on Aug. 16, 2013 at 6:17 PM

If you have a long history and have been together a while, then MAYBE staying and making it work would be the best solution. But if this is something new and a budding relationship, i would leave before deep feelings start to develope. He sounds like a player, telling not only you but another woman he wants to be with them. He wants his cake and to eat it too. I'm sure you are a nice woman and you deserve more than half of his attention.

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