by Michele Zipp
Sex can be one of the most amazing things in the world or the most dreaded, all depending on your mindset. Of course there are things we worry about when we are having sex -- like how your vagina smells, if your body is jiggling too much, or the fear of queefing. (It's not that bad!) But there are also mistakes we are making that can ruin the experience. I don't want to say you are doing it wrong, but ladies, we sometimes are doing it all wrong! The first step in righting those wrongs is to recognize them ... and make some changes.
So let's review these 12 mistakes women make when it comes to sex and stop making them so we can have better sex lives.
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1. Faking orgasms. Perhaps we just want our partners to feel more studly, but faking it only means one thing: You are denying yourself your own pleasure. Don't do it ... anymore.
2. Putting on an act complete with porn star quality moans. Loud sex sometimes means you're faking it, so don't bother. Just like #1, you are only denying yourself and you're not getting any Academy Awards (or AVNs) for your performance.
3. Not asking for what makes us feel good. The first step in experiencing sexual pleasure is to know what pleasures you. Ask for it. A good lover should want to make you come -- and be willing to take the time to get you there.
4. Being afraid to acknowledge our fantasies. You are not a nasty whore or dirty slut for wanting that X-Rated fantasy to come true. Talk about them, think about them, act on them.
5. Not touching ourselves enough. Guys masturbate a lot. Most girls ... not so much. Touch yourself when you're feeling in the mood. And don't be afraid to touch yourself when you are having sex. If you need to show your lover how it's done, take matters into your own hands.
6. Having too many hang-ups. The lights have to be off. You have to have just showered. You're afraid the cheeseburger you just ate makes your belly look fat. You're worried about that pimple on your back. You didn't shave. Blah blah blah! Stop worrying about all that stuff and enjoy yourself. Be in the moment.
7. Only worrying about what feels good for him. Of course we should think about how our lover is feeling and if he is enjoying it, but don't overdo it. Worrying too much about him will make you not have your own pleasure and if you're not enjoying it, he probably won't either.
8. Forgetting about his balls. Yes, his penis is fun to play with but so are his balls. Play around with them, too. See what he likes. He should return the favor when it's time for him to really take care of you. You're more than just your vaginal opening, right? He's more than just his appendage.
9. Laying there. Why bother?
10. Doing it when we really don't want to do it. Not into it? Just say no. Save it for another time. But if you decide to do the nasty when you're really not in the mood, don't do #9.
11. Taking everything way too seriously. Laugh a little. Sex is fun -- it's even funny sometimes. Don't let falling off the bed or an accidental fart ruin the mood. Laugh, then get back to it.
12. Thinking it's over when he's done. Sometimes his finish is just the beginning of our orgasmic journey.
Have you been guilty of some of these "mistakes"? Have any other to add?