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Would you stay with him.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 20 Replies
I know, I'm going to get judged a lot for my choice but I would like to think I'm not.the only one who would.

My SO and I have been together for 7 years we have 2 kids together and I just found out I'm pregnant with number 3 he is a great father and boyfriend but he does NOT know how to cope with things that are realllly hard for him. He is getting better over the little things but not horrible big things. Anyways he heard news that really upset him and ended up going out and getting really drunk, he then did coke *he did coke in the past before I met him but hasn't touched it since that I'm aware of* anyways he took so much because he was hoping to OD. Instead, he ended up just being really really out of it. Somehow he made it home. It was 2 am at the time and he.stumbled in he put a whole in the wall from the door handle going through the wall so I knew he was not sober he could bearly walk and I told him he needed to leave untim he sobered up. He then started saying stuff like this is my fucking house you dumb cunt you can leave *I would of but I had.kids to protect* he started yelling and pushed me into the wall saying how he was going to fuck me and I pushed him off and said no. He is much taller then me and bigger in general so there was not much of a.fighting chance for me. He came back more mad this time and I went push him away he grabbed my.wrist and twisted it to the point I was in agonizing pain. He told me to stop yelling at being a pussy and grabbed me by my hair pulling me back up. By this time im in tears and in horrible pain he proceeded to rape me pretty much. He passed out I ran to the.bathroom icing ymy horribly swollen wrist crying in pain and I was so scared he would.wake up. I actually ended up waking up the kids and quietly putting them in the.car so I could go to the hospital I knew my wrist was broken. The next morning he woke up and didn't remember ANYTHING. He cried and apologized a million times he's working on regaining my trust which id SLOWLY coming back as well as he entered a drug rehab even though he's not technically an addict he needs to learn how to cope with things without alcohol or drugs. So, my question is am I crazy for not leaving him. Pleaseeee tell me I'm not alone I do love him more then anything he's never hurt me before never even called me names really so it was NOT him that night. I also needed to get the events of Thos night off my chest so thank you for listening.
Posted by Anonymous on Aug. 22, 2013 at 10:35 AM
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Replies (1-10):
freemane
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 10:49 AM
He has a serious problem, and you won't be helping anyone, including him if you sweep this under the carpet. The man needs some serious therapy, and if you want to stay with him, you have a responsibility to your family to make sure he gets it.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 22, 2013 at 10:51 AM
Quoting freemane:

He has a serious problem, and you won't be helping anyone, including him if you sweep this under the carpet. The man needs some serious therapy, and if you want to stay with him, you have a responsibility to your family to make sure he gets it.

he is getting it without me forcing him he's willingly going.
freemane
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 10:54 AM
That's good. Is there counseling that both of you can go to together?
mellyfury
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 10:58 AM

i wouldn't go back until a licensed professional said it was a safe environment for you and your kids let him work through his problems and get the proper help.
he has to take responsibility for what he did to the pregnant mother of his children!
what if god forbid it happen again?? but while the kids were awake and had to watch their mother get raped?!?, or her killed you ,or your kids and "didn't remember"..
i wish you the best of luck
 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 22, 2013 at 11:00 AM
Quoting freemane:

That's good. Is there counseling that both of you can go to together?

yes there is once a week he will go twice a week for a while.
freemane
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 11:07 AM
Quoting Anonymous:



Good. You're going to hear a lot of people saying you should leave him, but that's a decision only you can make. If you feel safe, and he is really trying to improve, you have a chance to try to save your relationship. Just remember that the safety of you and your children Always has to come first. And don't forget that the relationship your children see their parents in is what they will base their own relationships on.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Aug. 22, 2013 at 11:08 AM

Hell no. He would be gone!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Aug. 22, 2013 at 11:09 AM
Quoting freemane:


thank you so much!!!!
3rdxmama
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 11:10 AM

I am so  sorry this happened to you. No one deserves that. I know it is easy for us to say "I'd leave and never look back" but to do it is a different story. However, I am concerned that he may do this again. You said he doesnt deal with stress well and life (esp life with children) is very stressful! I am sure you are a caring and loving mom and you have to consider the danger they may possibly be in. You know this man, we don't. Dont worry about what we say or think. Good luck to you, I hope he gets the help he needs and can be the man you need and deserve!!

ajdahd13
by Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 11:12 AM
I've always said that if DH hurt me physically I would first figure out if there were other issues. If there were, and he actively tried to get better with help from an outside source, I would not leave him. I can't say I blame you for not leaving. Good luck.
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