My SO and I have been together for 7 years we have 2 kids together and I just found out I'm pregnant with number 3 he is a great father and boyfriend but he does NOT know how to cope with things that are realllly hard for him. He is getting better over the little things but not horrible big things. Anyways he heard news that really upset him and ended up going out and getting really drunk, he then did coke *he did coke in the past before I met him but hasn't touched it since that I'm aware of* anyways he took so much because he was hoping to OD. Instead, he ended up just being really really out of it. Somehow he made it home. It was 2 am at the time and he.stumbled in he put a whole in the wall from the door handle going through the wall so I knew he was not sober he could bearly walk and I told him he needed to leave untim he sobered up. He then started saying stuff like this is my fucking house you dumb cunt you can leave *I would of but I had.kids to protect* he started yelling and pushed me into the wall saying how he was going to fuck me and I pushed him off and said no. He is much taller then me and bigger in general so there was not much of a.fighting chance for me. He came back more mad this time and I went push him away he grabbed my.wrist and twisted it to the point I was in agonizing pain. He told me to stop yelling at being a pussy and grabbed me by my hair pulling me back up. By this time im in tears and in horrible pain he proceeded to rape me pretty much. He passed out I ran to the.bathroom icing ymy horribly swollen wrist crying in pain and I was so scared he would.wake up. I actually ended up waking up the kids and quietly putting them in the.car so I could go to the hospital I knew my wrist was broken. The next morning he woke up and didn't remember ANYTHING. He cried and apologized a million times he's working on regaining my trust which id SLOWLY coming back as well as he entered a drug rehab even though he's not technically an addict he needs to learn how to cope with things without alcohol or drugs. So, my question is am I crazy for not leaving him. Pleaseeee tell me I'm not alone I do love him more then anything he's never hurt me before never even called me names really so it was NOT him that night. I also needed to get the events of Thos night off my chest so thank you for listening.